Our Crucible

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Crucible: (dictionary.com)

1) a container of metal or refractory material employed for heating substances to high temperatures.

2) a hollow area at the bottom of a furnace in which the metal collects.

3) a severe, searching test or trial.

Everyone has their cross to bear. My “cross” is the death of our child. On October 25, 1990, our world changed forever when our 4 year-old Jenna Nicole went to heaven after a battle with neuroblastoma, a rare but fatal form of childhood cancer. In the words of a friend who had lost his son 10 months earlier in a fire, “welcome to the fraternity that no one wants to join”.

This is my testing by fire, my crucible. This crucible shapes me and defines who I am as a man. It influences my opinions on most topics and creates passions in me that are otherwise unexplainable. Every day of my life is impacted by my crucible.

Another friend says that we passed the ultimate test. According to him, our test was a proving ground. I am not so sure that I have passed this test but I am in the process of passing it each day.  The test is in holding my head up and staying positive and helping other struggling people. My wife and I take no credit for the strength we have, it is simply a gift of God’s grace that allows for our survival. We have learned to give our grief to God; to offer it to Him so that someone else may be helped. Pain that is held inside will rot the soul.

Your crucible is your own. No one can endure it for you. It is hot, for sure. It’s not fair to compare it to the crucible of someone else – no two crucibles are the same. But in Christ, you can stand up under it and survive. You can thrive through your crucible.

I Peter 1:7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold–though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. (NLT)

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