Tag: personal growth

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The Older I Get, the More Diligent I Must Become

As we do every year this time of year, Letha and I have been talking about next year: how to improve, how to be more effective, how to make sure we are maximizing our opportunities. While prayerfully pondering this, a thought came to me.

The older we get, the harder we have to work if we hope to to improve. When we were younger, maturing and growth allowed us the presumption that we would improve with age, and most of the time we did. Simply living and learning about life allowed us to progress in our effectiveness. But now, improvement comes with a greater cost. Now that I am a more seasoned leader, I can’t just pass time and get better at things, I actually have to be intentional in my growth. What a revelation!

Allow me to explain. I have less energy now than I did when I was forty. So if I want to stay in good shape physically, I have to discipline myself to get off the couch and move (which I do!). Like many my age, my natural tendency may be to go with what is comfortable and familiar. But my comfort zones destroy my productivity! Now that I’m older, I enjoy my old friends. But as important as my old friends are, I need to stretch and grow in relationships, networks and connectivity. I can’t just recline in the “Lazy Boy” of life and expect to advance; I’ve got to be purposeful, intentional and action-oriented.

So if 2022 is going to be a better year than 2021, I have to work harder and think harder and behave harder than I have this year. Slothfulness and resting on my laurels (*info for this reference below) will defeat me. As a leader, the older I get, the more diligent I must become.

I want to improve until the day that I die. I want to be a better Christian, husband, father, Pop (grandfather), friend and leader. That won’t happen organically; I must work to improve.

So look out New Year, I’m coming for ya! I’m excited about 2022!

*https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/rest-on-his-laurels.html

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can a person really change?

An age-old question in life is: can people really change? Can a bad guy become a good guy or can a true jerk become a nice person? While I try to be optimistic about redemption and fresh starts, my experience is that most people are pretty much who they are by the time they are 25 or 30 years old. That being said, I do believe that people can make transformations in their lives. But these transformations, if they are legit, are usually motivated by one thing:

A major crisis.

In order for a person to truly change, something big has to happen. I am reading Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. Here is a quote that will let you in on his thesis: “first, there is a cue, a trigger that tells your brain to go into automatic mode and which habit to use. Then there is the routine, which can be physical or mental or emotional. Finally, there is a reward, which helps your brain figure out if this particular loop is worth remembering for the future” (loc 454).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(the “habit loop”)

Duhigg says that if we are going to change a habit or behavior, we must first change the reward. If the payoff is big enough, we will change. So crisis may not be a tragedy. Crisis is simply a point of experience that motivates us to do something different.

If you are a 40 year-old male who is still addicted to porn, you haven’t yet experienced a moment of true crisis. If you are a 50 year-old female who has no real friends, you have not yet reached the crossroads necessary in order to make real change.

I am praying that we can all create our own personal crisis that is required for us to engage in real change.  If we don’t we may be doomed to being who we are. While we may not be all that bad, the idea of no positive change is depressing.

Jeremiah 13:23 asks, “Can a leopard change its spots?” I don’t think so.

But I do think we can change – if we want to badly enough.