Tag Archives: success

Not Everyone Wants You to Succeed

30705103_10156353004229214_3194911651212840577_nMost people in the church are good. The vast majority of the people whom I have served as a pastor or in ministry in general had pure motives and could be trusted. But there are a few, just a minority, that seek to destroy, or at least are happy when destruction comes.

A church member once told me that she has purposefully not spoken to me in 2 months. She wanted to see how long it would take me to approach her. She was testing me – and I failed. Apparently she couldn’t take it any longer and let me know that I messed up. I apologized for my oversight. I hadn’t neglected her on purpose. There were about 500 other people in the church with whom I was trying to interact. Clearly, she wanted me to fail – she set me up – and it worked.

As a college student, I worked part time as a church janitor. For the record, this was the best ministry training I ever received. One of the Deacons secretly placed a toothpick in the corner of the restroom floor as a way of checking to see if I was doing my job. Thankfully, I had been doing my job and the Deacon let me know. But I often wondered what other traps he had set for me.

Once again, most folks are good folks and want others to succeed. But there are a few snakes in the grass. They are the saboteurs; the underminers. They set traps and lurk in the corner, waiting for the next victim.

What is the motivation for this type of behavior?

Some want others to fail because it makes them feel better about their own failure.

Some want us to fail so they can swoop in like a vulture to steal away what we have worked for.

Some are wicked and seek to destroy anything good.

Clearly, these people are dysfunctional. And they can ruin the lives of others.

What are we supposed to do about this?

Guard yourself! Be aware that not everyone is on your side, even if they repeatedly say they are.

Be slow to trust people. Don’t place your reputation in the hands of unproven individuals.

Work hard so as to remove any opportunity for these people to try to make you look bad.

But more than any of these things…

Keep your heart soft and your spirit tender.

My motivation for writing this article is to try to help prevent colleagues from becoming bitter about the pain they endure. Too many leaders who have been in the game for a while get injured. They drop their guard and get blindsided. The result is, they become overly sensitive, defensive and suspicious. Over time, the heart becomes calloused. This is an attempt at self-preservation but the result is self-destruction.

When we begin to expect the worst out of people, this is what we will experience. Let’s understand the concept of self-fulfilling prophets. They are the people who state that a project or person will fail – and they do everything in their power to assure that they are correct. If we are not careful, we can adopt this as a leadership style. If we expect people to stab us in the back, we can create the opportunity for that to happen. Don’t allow your pain to provide ammo for those who are trying to hurt you more.

Don’t allow yourself to expect the worst. Don’t get bitter. Forgive those who hurt you, even if they don’t want or deserve it.

If you can survive the attempts to make you fail, your success rate will increase. But more importantly, you will maintain a pure heart, which is vitally important for success. In fact, these days, having a pure heart may be THE definition of success.

Add to all this, the knowledge that God wants you to succeed! So much so that He provides a surefire way to insure it:

Study this Book (the Scriptures) of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” Joshua 1:8 (NLT)

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5 Steps to Getting What You Want

22894146_10155869087324214_375210395447557660_nIf you find yourself thinking about meeting a goal or completing a project, read on.

While deciding what is a worthwhile goal in life can be difficult, it is oftentimes even more difficult to actually make that thing happen. This post is not intended to be a cure-all for people who are stuck in life. But if you need a boost to reach a goal, give the following a try.

  1. Identify: what is it you really want? Not something you think will make you happy, but what you want. This must be something that has meaning and value to you. (clue: What did God design for your life?) If you are wanting something that is damaging to yourself or someone else, your wishes are misguided. Try again.

Set a goal.

(Robert Rubin developed the idea of SMART Goals. Specific (simple, sensible, significant). Measurable (meaningful, motivating). Achievable (agreeable, attainable). Relevant (reasonable, realistic and resourced, results-based). Time bound (time-based, time limited, time/cost limited, timely, time-sensitive). You may read more here.

An example of a smart goal: “I want to complete a college degree within 5 years.”

  1. Pieces: what pieces must be put in place in order to make the above happen? These must be specific, action-oriented steps.

Example:

Enroll in college

Explore potential colleges and degree programs

Explore finances required

Graduate

Pay tuition

Discuss with family members who will be impacted

Talk to a college admissions department

Make application to the college(s) of choice

Start taking classes

List the necessary pieces, as best you can, that will move you toward your goal.

  1. Prioritize: decide which pieces are most important.

Example:

  1. Explore potential colleges and degree programs
  2. Discuss with family members who will be impacted.
  3. Talk to a college admissions department.

Etc.

You’ll never reach your goal if you can’t do the most important things first.

  1. Decide to act: when will you take the step? Until you commit to do it and follow through, everything is on hold.

Example:

I will explore colleges online today.

I will talk with my family tomorrow.

Talk to a college admissions department on Tuesday

Etc.

Until you take action, your goal is just a dream

  1. Now, repeat #’s 2-4 until you arrive at your destination.

Example:

Determine which pieces you must put into place

Prioritize the pieces

Act – put a piece in place and move forward

Continue this cycle until the goal is met and the degree is earned

We realize this is an over-simplification to reaching goals. However, it is a useful tool to get you moving forward. Give it a try with weight loss or spiritual development or a better marriage. I’d be interested to hear if it works for you.

 


People-Growing (for church leaders)

People GrowingGod has called us into the most wonderful work in the world! Much of what we do can be compared to what a farmer does. He grows crops; we grow people. He reaps a harvest of grain or vegetables; we reap a crop of souls.

Like farmers, pastors must know the purpose of their work and we must be willing to do whatever it takes to produce disciples. Fulfilling the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20) is not an option for today’s church leader!

In order for us to have success as “people growers”, we must:

Be intentional. Discipleship and spiritual growth among your church members does not “just happen”. If there is not a specific plan, our church will not grow. Conducting church services is not enough. We must engage the people in an intentional and consistent plan of personal spiritual growth. There are many simple plans available; develop one or find one and get your church involved. What is your plan?

In order for us to have success as “people growers”, we must:

Be willing to measure our success. Numbers aren’t everything but they do measure our progress. Attendance = real lives. If we are not reaching more people now than we were a few years ago, it is time for an adjustment. Refusal to deal with the bottom line (disciples being made) will lead to failure in the ministry. Go ahead and answer the question, “what do our numbers say about our discipleship process?” Are adjustments necessary? If so, what adjustments?

In order for us to have success as “people growers”, we must:

Be skilled. The Bible instructs us to study to make ourselves approved unto God ((II Timothy 2:15). If we expect the people we lead to grow, we must also grow. I recommend that each of us read various authors on the topic of spiritual growth. We need to feed ourselves outside of the church services we lead. We must worship and pray and fast. It may also be beneficial to learn from others – consider a coach or mentor who can help to develop you as a leader. If we grow as leaders, those we lead will also grow.  What is your personal growth plan?

In order for us to have success as “people growers”, we must:

Be diligent. James 5:7 says, “See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains.” We cannot be in a hurry to grow people. It talks a lot of plowing and planting and watering and fertilizing. There are no shortcuts! But we cannot be satisfied if we have had no harvest for years. God works through seasons – when is our season to harvest people? It must be soon!

In order for us to have success as “people growers”, we must:

Be aware of our accountability. We should be accountable to one another. We should be in cooperative relationships with those in our faith family. But we WILL give an account to the Lord for our productivity or lack thereof in the field of souls. The field belongs to God. The people are His. The Ministry is His. We don’t want to stand before Him empty handed. We certainly desire to stand before Him one day and hear Him say, “Well done good and faithful servant”! (Matthew 25:21).


The New Year will be Just Like the Old Year, Unless…

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It’s not logical to repeat the same behaviors while expecting different results. For those of us who are motivated about a new beginning in 2013, I applaud you. However, be aware that if your work ethic, personal habits and spiritual focus are the same as they have been in 2012, 2013 will probably be a repeat.

Resolutions can be a great tool in assisting us in improving our life situation. We should use personal goals to motivate us toward behaviors that change our conditions. Most people require accountability both in the setting and keeping of goals. I highly recommend that you set goals and share those with someone you trust. Be realistic, make tough decisions about important issues and have a long-term perspective. Your chances of success will increase dramatically.

The truth is, if you can’t bring yourself to make any changes, get ready for more of the same. There really isn’t any reason to expect improvement. So, New Year, same old results, unless you change your approach!

There are some positive changes I plan to make for next year, so I fully believe that 2013 is going to be a great year – even better than 2012! Join me!


don’t forget the most important stuff

A few weeks ago, we were headed to a conference for the purpose of giving exposure to our missions work. When we arrived at the airport, we realized we had left all of our presentation materials back at home. I had to go back home to get them, and I ended up flying standby. Otherwise, we would have been without the most important stuff – the very reason for our trip.
Warren Bennis, leadership guru says, “I’ve never seen anyone derailed from top leadership because of a lack of business literacy or conceptual skills: it’s always because of lapses of judgment and questions about character. Always.
It seems to me that there is a sufficient amount of emphasis on skills development and strategy engagement among leaders. Bennis is right – know-how is not the problem when someone fails.  The problem almost always is, leaders lose their bearings.  They have a moral lapse. They fail and fall.
I see four key reasons why leaders are prone to omit issues of character and integrity:
·      Forgetting what brought success. Honesty and integrity are not very glamorous foundations, but must be maintained in order to prevent moral failure.
·      Corruption from outside sources. Unscrupulous characters will be attracted to success. Know who they are and avoid them!
·      Arrogance of success. Pride is the greatest enemy of leaders. Stay humble; stay on track.
·      Too busy to pay attention to details. Never become so preoccupied with leading that you forget to focus on small, important, moment-by-moment decisions.
Leaders (and followers) don’t forget the most important thing – your character.