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Before You Decide to Skip Church (or 7 Great Reasons to Go to Church)

IMG_0184 copy(This article was originally posted on June 4, 2012 under the title, “I Go to Church.”)

I make a living in the church, actually through the church. Worship services usually happen in the church but they are only a part of what we do. I went to church before I was paid to go and should I lose my job in ministry, I would keep going to church.

I usually emphasize a missional expression of ministry, or carrying out in our culture what Christ tells us in the church. But today I want to discuss what I get out of worship services. In addition to the usual (worship, prayer, learning more about God, etc.), I find many personal benefits to regularly attending worship gatherings.  These things have nothing to do with my being a pastor. They have everything to do with me going to church services.

Here are some of the benefits I get out of church:

I encourage others at church. Many people don’t believe it, but their very appearance in a church service is an encouragement to other people. Obviously if you are not there, they will not get that encouragement. So I go.

I get to experience “the moment”. God’s Spirit works in unique ways while His people are gathered in a group. That moment cannot be recaptured or transferred. If I miss it, I just miss it. There is power in spontaneity. God might tell me to say something or do something for someone “right now”. If I’m not there, I will miss the spontaneous.

I get to use my gifts that are intended for worship gatherings. The Bible is clear that some of the talents given to people are given for the purpose of building up others while at worship. If I don’t go to church, I cannot use those gifts anywhere else.

I am made aware of the right-now needs of my church family. A simple look in the eye can inform you of someone who is hurting or frightened or angry. I can respond, on the spot, to that need. If I am not at church, I won’t even know of the need. So I go.

My fellow leaders speak into my life. Messages or sermons or teachings are the best counsel and advice that a pastor can offer. Watching on the Internet or on television or listening online is great, but it is not the same as in person. D. L. Moody said, “The difference between listening to a radio sermon and going to church…is almost like the difference between calling your girl on the phone and spending an evening with her.”

I am “in the know” with the immediate direction of our church. I don’t want to hear through the grapevine about something special that God is doing or a change that is taking place. I want to see and hear it first-hand.

I am able fulfill my responsibility as a member of my church. Among our responsibilities are: prayer for others when they need it, responding to crisis at the moment, providing support when it is needed, and participating in the forward movement of the church. If I am somewhere else, none of this can happen…until maybe later. Sometimes, later is too late.

These things cannot happen outside of the church, so I go. Often. I love going to church and my life would be incomplete without it. So I go. Whether or not I am a pastor, I go to church.

So before you decide to skip church, or before you allow something else to push your church service to the back burner, please know that your attendance and involvement is important.

Don’t miss something important. Go to church.

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It’s Getting More Difficult (Ministry in the Modern World)

design[12]Experience should make your job easier. I am not finding that to be the case. The older I get and the more time I spend in Christian ministry, the more challenging it seems to become.

Monumental shifts in our cultural contexts leave the church in unfamiliar territory. While we once enjoyed the favor and respect of the community, we now find ourselves on the receiving end of rejection and even disdain. Worse than being rejected is being ignored. Because the Western culture has, for all practical purposes, abandoned a Christian worldview, churches that adhere to traditional Biblical tenets are dismissed as ignorant or hate-filled. Times are rapidly changing for those in ministry.

Because of these dynamics, ministry is not getting easier in America; on the contrary, we are facing greater challenges and resistance than we have in the past. Some Christian leaders are not responding well. Some of us are behaving more like Peter on the night of Jesus’ arrest in the Garden. We pull out our swords and lop off ears (in Jesus’ name, of course)! There are too many Malchus’ in the world. These are people who are suffering from the mis-reaction of Christians to social pressures. There is a time for us to leave our swords in their scabbards. (see John 18:10-11)

I have a few suggestions that may enable us to more effectively navigate these tumultuous waters.

1. Recall that we are not the first to be rejected for the cause of Christ. Matthew 5:11-12: “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

2. Maintain proper perspective. While we are experiencing new opposition to our faith, there are countless brothers and sisters around the world who are giving their lives for the sake of the Gospel.

3. Pray for those who persecute you. Some of the most difficult passages in the Bible have to do with loving our enemies. (Matthew 5:43-48, Luke 6:27-36)

4. Embrace the opportunity to minister to the world. When in the middle of pushback regarding your faith, pray for the chance to share the Gospel. “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” (I Peter 3:15b)

5. Remember, it’s not our fight. Jesus said, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.” (John 15:18) God is well able to take care of His business, don’t make cultural resistance your personal battle.

6. Be tough to the very end. Those who do so will be saved. “Blessed are those who persevere under trial, because when they have stood the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12)

I wish I could tell you that the pressure that ministries face will ease in the near future. I don’t believe that it will; in fact, I believe that it will only get more difficult. I can tell you that our current situation doesn’t catch God by surprise. He remains in control. He has promised to be with us. And He will be victorious in the end.

Hang in there, Child of God. Great will be your reward.

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Is Your Church Successful?

Disclaimer: Please forgive the academic nature of this post. This is a paper I recently wrote for a class but I hope you can weed through it to glean some useful things.IMG_0147

How Does a Church Measure Success?

     When considering the topic of measuring church success, one must take into account a variety of issues. Each church is different and what may be considered as success is sometimes subjective. Varying opinions on the elements of ministry success prevent us from coming to consensus on the matter. Biblical standards on what constitutes success in churches are subject to interpretation. There are some standards that, in my opinion, are absolutes for success in ministry and that is the focus of this project. Powers and Roberson assert,

“A church is successful when members of the congregation are growing in faith as the body of Christ, in all ways unto him and disciples are discovering, developing, and using their gifts in Christian service within the body, in the community, and in partnership with other believers around the world.” [1]

While every church leader and member may feel qualified to define how success is measured in their particular church, it is beneficial to look to those who have exposure to the larger Body of Christ when identifying success. The use of the term success when discussing Christian ministry creates concern for some. Some may equate this nomenclature with business models of success. Klopp assists us by addressing his use of terms other than success. He states, “Recently, there has been a resurgence of interest in church health, effectiveness and revitalization. I use the term effectiveness because it doesn’t carry the theological or secular baggage as do terms such as ‘missional’ or ‘success’.” [2] Whether we address the concepts in terms of success, effectiveness or health, we should all agree that we are addressing ways in which the church may fulfill the responsibilities and expectations placed upon it by Jesus Christ. The Church is not to exist in an effort to please people; we will give an account to God and must please Him in every way.

With these considerations in mind, Powers and Roberson’s definition of a successful church may be adequate for general consideration but the Evangelical perspective of success in ministry should include additions related to winning people to Christ. While the ideas may be implied by the stated definition, evangelism is too central to the success of the church to be omitted in any serious definition. Other leaders have weighed in on attempts to define church success. Some have chosen to address the temptation to measure success using the wrong evaluative tools. In their book, Total Church, Tim Chester and Steve Timmis state,

“Too many of our notions of success owe more to the world than to the God we worship. We measure success in terms of numbers, budgets, style, staff, prestige. We are not quite as crass as to think the church leader with the biggest salary and the flashiest car is the most successful. But we are not far from thinking that the church leader with the biggest congregation and flashiest Sunday morning meetings is the most successful.”[3]

This position would seem to some as an exaggeration; my experience concurs with their assessment. Shawn Lovejoy devoted an entire book to the concept of reevaluating and reestablishing the measurements of success in the church. He provides a list of common but unhealthy measurements, including comparing ourselves to others, copying what others are doing and condemning others who have success that we envy. He provides additional unhealthy approaches to church success, with some of the elements including numbers, activity, approval rating and fame. Lovejoy pleads with pastors to recalibrate their definitions of success and work toward healthier, more productive churches. [4] Ed Stetzer and Thom S. Rainer encourage us to change the scorecard of measuring success in church. Program based, inwardly focused churches will accentuate those issues that appease consumers. Stetzer and Rainer say, “The old scorecard of the church valued the external measures of the three Bs: bodies, budget, and buildings. The North American culture likes to count and so does the church. So we count the number of people attending, the number of dollars being used, and the number of square feet being inhabited for the purpose of the church.”[5] It is tempting to utilize such instruments because they are measureable and quantitative. Counting bodies is much simpler than measuring spiritual growth. We must, however, insist on interpreting success by godly standards, not by earthly ones.

Determining what defines success in a church is a significant undertaking. Since there is no comprehensive list provided in Scriptures, we must prayerfully examine the traits of Biblical ministry and assure that our churches comply. Pastors and leaders of ministries must be certain that core values are embraced and that they guide every decision and activity in the church. These values are based upon the truths of God’s Word as it applies to the lives of the people being reached by the church. Adherence to these values influences the direction of the church. We cannot know our mission if we do not embrace values. Gene Appel, former Pastor of Willow Creek Church in Illinois states, “The values church members and leadership embrace form their church mission.”[6] It is necessary to articulate what drives us as a church, why we are in existence and what we are striving to achieve. We will never know if we have achieved our mission if our values are unclear or ambiguous. It is my opinion that this is the cause behind much frustration among pastors and local church leaders. Clear and concise values have not been adopted and mission is elusive. Without these elements in place, we find it impossible to measure the effectiveness of a ministry. This frustration leads to a focus on what we can measure: crowds, resources and bottom lines on the financial reports. Lyle Schaller reminds us that core values and mission statements can, if not properly utilized, give us a false sense of security. He says, “Too often core values, like mission statements, are superficial expressions of pious rhetoric that have not been internalized by either the pastor or the leaders of the congregation.” [7]

If we are to measure what constitutes a successful church, we must begin with some basics as described by Scripture. Jesus provided the power of the Holy Spirit to the church so that we may be “witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” (Acts 1:8 NIV). Paul explains the purpose of church leaders as “to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.” (Ephesians 4:11). Jesus assigned the Great Commission as the clarion call for the church: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:19-20a). For a church to be considered successful according to Biblical standards, emphasis must be placed on reaching those who are separated from God, releasing God’s people for ministry and making disciples everywhere. This seems to be a missional focus rather than an inwardly focused approach. It is a common assertion that this type of outwardly focused ministry will produce measureable, quantitative results such as increased attendance and giving. There is no biblical guarantee of this result and caution should be exercised when making such assumptions. A successful church will minister out of pure motivation to see lives changed. If God allows us to reach an increasing number of people, we are blessed. This should assist us as we attempt to keep our definition of ministry success pure.

Leith Anderson addresses the idea of successful churches in two books he authored in the early 1990s. Along with a plethora of negative examples of success, he identifies the following: “Success is reaching the right goal, using our resources according to a specified standard.”[8] I find that, without reading the book, this definition of success is vague and obscure. However, as Anderson develops his thoughts more fully, we find a solid didactic on church health. He focuses on the process of fulfilling mission, the utilization of gifts, and the necessity of adhering to Biblical standards while being flexible on non-essential issues. In his earlier work, Dying for Change, he eloquently argues for the church to stay focused on eternal issues refusing to compromise on Biblical truth while embracing the need to adjust methods as society shifts. “We cannot view the church as an island isolated from the rest of society. It cannot be isolated. As the culture changes, the church changes.”[9] At least one aspect of the successful church must be considered as the ability to reach the world around it with the message of Jesus Christ. Given our primary goal is to lead others to Christ and to make disciples, if we fail at these two tasks, we are unsuccessful. If the church fails to make disciples, she will eventually become extinct. Anderson and other writers help us to see the balance of commitment to living a godly life while connecting with the culture we are trying to reach. Both are necessary in order for a church (or Christian) to be considered successful. Minatrea laments the dying church that refuses to adjust its methods to reach their community.

“They found themselves increasingly out of touch with the rapids of cultural change and the real world in which their neighbors lived. They no longer anticipated having a major impact upon society and hoped only to reach enough people to help the church survive. I call this prevalent consumer orientation, isolation from society, and associated lack of belief in capacity to have a significant influence a maintenance mentality.”[10]

It is my opinion that it is impossible to have a successful church that is irrelevant to its culture. The Bible is always relevant, regardless of the society. Churches can be guilty of making the Bible irrelevant. Admittedly, we are in a major struggle with a propensity by many to reduce the Bible to a storybook. Post-modernism has impacted the church to the point that many are fearful of preaching the truth. However, watering down the Scriptures has resulted in an anemic church that is unable to deliver what our culture needs the most. The most successful churches are the ones that “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15) and offer life and hope through the transformative power of Jesus Christ. With today’s post-Christian attitude, churches that speak Biblical truth may have difficulty amassing a large congregation. However, I believe that people are hungry for real solutions and eventually truth will prevail. This is another reason why success may not be measured by using standard analysis. Being culturally relevant should mean making the truth of God’s love accessible to all. Unfortunately, the idea has become convoluted and a point of contention for many Christian leaders. Robert Logan assisted me in my understanding of the topic. He instructs, “Being culturally relevant is actually another way of describing what incarnating the Gospel is all about. It means putting the Good News into forms that relate and communicate to people wherever they are.” [11] In my estimation, and utilizing this definition of culturally relevant, one may not consider their church successful unless they are culturally relevant.

I read two works that seem especially congruent with this topic. Koster and Wagenfeld’s Take Your Church’s Pulse, and Stanley, Joiner and Jones’ 7 Practices of Effective Ministry are closely related to the task of determining success for the church. Both are efforts to identify key elements of a healthy and productive church. The 7 Practices text lists things that the church should do in order to become successful. A brief summary of the 7 practices is: 1. Clarify the Win (what do we want to celebrate?); 2. Think Steps, not Program (where do we want our people to be?); 3. Narrow the focus (do no more than one or two things well); 4. Teach Less for More (say only what you need to say to the people who need to hear it); 5. Listen to Outsiders (focus your efforts on those you are trying to reach rather than on those you’re trying to keep); 6. Replace Yourself (prepare now for the future); and 7. Work on It (step back and evaluate).[12] These practices are publicized to create healthy environments in the church. They are not considered as indicators of success but rather are recipes for success. Personally, I find the authors of these practices to be a bit presumptive. I originally read this book with our local church staff when it was first published. We read and discussed the book and explored ways to implement the concepts contained in it. As it developed for us, many of the ideas of the authors were very specific to their context and not as easily executed in other settings. Our particular cultural context was not conducive to some of the practices. Thus, I am of the opinion that the book has limited application when considering how to determine success in the local church.

A much more helpful resource in my quest to establish the elements of a successful church is Koster and Wagenveld’s Take Your Church’s Pulse. The book presents ten vital signs of a healthy church. The list is subdivided into five key commitments and five key functions. The five commitments are Clear and Inspiring Vision, Mobilizing Leadership, Motivated Ministering Body, Proper Stewardship of Resources, and Integration of Text and Context.[13] According to the authors, implementation of these commitments will prepare and position the church to succeed in effective ministry. The five functions are listed as: Compelling Witness, Comprehensive Discipleship, Compassionate Service, Caring and Welcoming Community, and Dynamic Worship and Prayer. While these functions are practices of the church, they also serve as descriptors of an effective church. Healthy churches will participate in each of the functions listed. While I have not attempted to put into practice the comprehensive list as published by the authors, I have implemented each of the individual elements listed in a local church context. I believe that their list is synoptic and thorough. When attempting to identify key components of a successful church, we should utilize the index provided by Koster and Wagenveld.

As we summarize our research on the fundamentals of successful church ministry, my concern for the church of the 21st century remains. In my assessment, many churches are attempting to conduct impactful ministry by performing tasks and carrying out programs in their own strengths and abilities without relying on the life-transformative power of the Holy Spirit. We sometimes operate as though we are the source of life-change. Church can become an organization rather than an organism. I am very much in favor of investigating and exploring ways that God is working in other churches. God allows us to view successes in other ministries so that we may be inspired and motivated to also enjoy progress. However, it is a mistake to attempt to duplicate in our ministry what God is doing elsewhere. Trends and methodology can become contagious and, if we are not careful, all of our churches can begin to look and act alike. Popular pastors can garner a following of younger pastors and the temptation is to try to fit into the mold of this version of success. This may explain why North American churches spend an inordinate amount of effort trying to gain members from other churches. There can be a way of leading ministry that is attractive to other Christians, but not to those who are living without Christ. We experience a significant amount of transfer growth but not enough conversion growth. Our cultures and communities are too diverse for us all to conduct ministry the same way. The unique challenges and needs of the people in our neighborhoods require that we approach church work from a distinct and personalized platform. We may learn from the failures and successes of other churches but what God desires to do in our particular situation is distinct. Every church, every pastor and every community is unique. If we view the solution as mimicking what others are doing, we stifle the creative work of the Holy Spirit. He desires us to follow His leading as we address the needs of the culture that surrounds us. While it is beneficial for us to explore the concepts that various writers espouse as indicators of healthy ministry, we must recall that the Church is the bride of Christ and will ultimately be judged only by Him. Only God truly knows what is happening in the deep recesses of the ministry. We look at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. It is a common temptation to hold others to our standards and to determine their success or failure based upon our criteria. It seems presumptuous and arrogant to determine some churches as successes and others as failures. Obviously, we can observe when a ministry practices the Scriptures and connects with its community. But we cannot measure true spiritual success. When I am bold enough to condemn a ministry as a failure, possibly I should submit to the Biblical teaching that instructs me to remove the log from my eye prior to attempting to remove the speck from my brother’s eye (Matthew 7:5). I am not insinuating that we stop evaluating ministry for success or failure. I am purporting that we enter into this process with humility and a keen awareness that we cannot accurately perceive what is true success and failure. Regardless of the limited number of members, the small facility and the miniscule budget, some churches are fulfilling the call that God has placed on them to make disciples, to release people for ministry and produce fruit that remains. On the contrary, some churches with massive numbers of attenders, a magnificent edifice and a swelling budget may possibly be viewed as a failure in the eyes of the Lord. This reminds us that every church is unique and has a specific calling to fulfill. We must operate in the power of the Holy Spirit in order to fulfill that call.

It behooves us to concentrate our definition of the elements of a successful church. Ingredients such as worship, service, community, prayer and evangelism are crucial. Vision, stewardship, leadership development, outreach and proper handing of the text within the context are vital. We should explore these features with a sincere desire to be the best church we can possibly be. However, we must never place these elements ahead of complete and total obedience to what God is requiring of the specific church. In our efforts to determine what makes a church successful, we must be sure to be guided by the principle of the true purpose of the church: to bring glory to God and to share Christ with the world.

I am convinced that, on Judgment Day, we will not be subjected to a checklist of modern expectations that are commonly considered to be criterion for success. I do believe that God will determine that day whether or not we have been obedient to Him and faithful to His call. Certainly, we hope and pray that we will hear these words spoken to us and to the church that we serve, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of the Lord!” (Matthew 25:23).

 

 

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Anderson, Leith. Dying for Change: The New Realities Confronting Church and Para-Church Ministries. Minneapolis, MN. Bethany House Publishers, 1990.

Anderson, Leith. A Church for the 21st Century: Bringing Change to Your Church to Meet the Challenges of a Changing Society. Minneapolis, MN. Bethany House Publishers, 1992.

Appel, Gene and Alan Nelson. How to Change Your Church (Without Killing It). Nashville, TN, Word Publishing, 2000.

Chester, Tim and Steve Timmis. Total Church: A Radical Reshaping Around Gospel and Community. Wheaton, IL, Crossway Publishing, 2008.

Klopp, Henry. The Ministry Playbook: Strategic Planning for Effective Churches. Grand Rapids, MI, Baker Books, 2002.

Koster, Tim and John Wagenveld. Take Your Church’s Pulse: Ten Vital Signs of a Healthy Church. (Sauk Village, IL, Multiplication Network Ministries, 2014.

Logan, Robert E. Beyond Church Growth: Action Plans for a Developing Dynamic Church. Grand Rapids, MI. Fleming H. Revell Publishers, 1989.

Lovejoy, Shawn. The Measure of Our Success: An Impassioned Plea to Pastors. Grand Rapids, MI, Baker Books, 2012.

Minatrea, Milfred. Shaped by God’s Heart: The Passion and Practices of Missional Churches. San Francisco, California, Jossey-Bass, 2004.

Powers, Bruce and James T. Roberson Jr. Church Administration Handbook. Nashville, TN, B&H Publishing, 2008.

Schaller, Lyle E. The Very Large Church: New Rules for Leaders. Nashville, TN, Abingdon Press, 2000.

Stanley, Andy, Reggie Joyner and Lane Jones. 7 Practices of Effective Ministry. (Sisters, OR, Multnomah Publishers, 2004.

Stetzer, Ed and Thom Rainer. Transformational Church: Creating a New Scorecard for Congregations. Nashville, Tennessee B&H Publishing Group, 2010.

[1] Powers, Bruce and James T. Roberson Jr. Church Administration Handbook. (Nashville, TN, B&H Publishing, 2008), 13.

[2] Klopp, Henry. The Ministry Playbook: Strategic Planning for Effective Churches. (Grand Rapids, MI, Baker Books, 2002), 26.

[3] Chester, Tim and Steve Timmis. Total Church: A Radical Reshaping Around Gospel and Community. (Wheaton, IL, Crossway Publishing, 2008), 191.

[4] Lovejoy, Shawn. The Measure of Our Success: An Impassioned Plea to Pastors. (Grand Rapids, MI, Baker Books, 2012), 16-26, 34-35.

[5] Stetzer, Ed and Thom S. Rainer. Transformational Church: Creating a New Scorecard for Congregations. (Nashville, TN, B&H Publishing, 2010), 26.

[6] Appel, Gene and Alan Nelson. How to Change Your Church (Without Killing It). Nashville, TN, Word Publishing, 2000), 26.

[7] Schaller, Lyle E. The Very Large Church: New Rules for Leaders. (Nashville, TN, Abingdon Press, 2000), 128.

[8] Anderson, Leith. A Church for the 21st Century: Bringing Change to Your Church to Meet the Challenges of a Changing Society. (Minneapolis, MN. Bethany House Publishers, 1992), 89.

[9] Anderson. Dying for Change: The New Realities Confronting Church and Para-Church Ministries. (Minneapolis, MN. Bethany House Publishers, 1990), 43.

[10] Minatrea, Milfred. Shaped By God’s Heart: The Passion and Practices of Missional Churches. (San Francisco, CA. Jossey-Bass, 2004), 7.

[11] Logan, Robert E. Beyond Church Growth: Action Plans for a Developing Dynamic Church. Grand Rapids, MI. Fleming H. Revell Publishers, 1989, 69.

[12] Stanley, Andy, Reggie Joyner and Lane Jones. 7 Practices of Effective Ministry. (Sisters, OR, Multnomah Publishers, 2004), 10-11.

[13] Koster, Tim and John Wagenveld. Take Your Church’s Pulse: Ten Vital Signs of a Healthy Church. (Sauk Village, IL, Multiplication Network Ministries, 2014), 13.

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Healthy Church Staff Relationships (Or How to Keep Your Staff from Imploding)

IMG_0138Working well with other leaders and staff members is essential for ministry success. Having worked with paid church staff for over 20 years, I believe that this is more challenging than working with church members or volunteers. In fact, I think it’s generally easier to pastor 100 people alone than 200 people with a team. Because of this, some churches avoid hiring staff. I have friends who purposely keep their ministry small and manageable. I disagree with this approach and believe the benefits of working with staff far outweigh the challenges. On the contrary, I know a few smaller church leaders who can’t wait for the day when they have staff – so their jobs won’t be so hard. You, my friend, are mistaken.

Church staff relationships are tricky, to say the least. We must figure this out because if the staff is broken, the church is broken.

Here are some of the greatest threats to healthy church staff relationships:

  • Jealousy of the success of others (this reveals spiritual immaturity and insecurities).
  • Sharing limited resources (there is only so much money and volunteers to go around). Staff members sometimes fight over support.
  • Undermining others in an effort to look better. We must realize that, as a team, when one of us wins, we all win and when one of us loses, we all lose.
  • Ministry silos. Tony Morgan writes about how some church staff members divide and are only concerned about their specific ministry. http://tonymorganlive.com/2014/04/23/ministry-silos-leadership/
  • Lack of loyalty to the mission and vision of the church/senior leader. Some staff members have secret ambitions to take their boss’ job.

So, how do we prevent these threats from doing irreparable damage to our church staff?

  • Hire spiritually mature people. Regardless of one’s ability, if there is a weakness in one’s spirituality, it will reveal itself in a church staff setting.
  • Create open and honest communication among the staff. Freedom to address perceived issues will allow a staff to address problems as they arise, rather than allowing them to build up over time.
  • The primary leader must stay personally engaged with the staff. While another staff member may be the first point of contact on a larger staff, the leader must be accessible and in relationship with team members.
  • Personal as well as professional relationships must be intentionally developed. A staff that dislikes one another outside of church will dislike one another inside of the church.
  • Staff prayer is vitally important. This prayer should be scheduled, frequent and treated as a priority.
  • Required reading. The staff should read and discuss current leadership development materials.The church staff should celebrate individual victories as a team and mourn individual losses as a team.

These are just a few ideas on how we may prevent threats to the church staff from destroying the staff (and church). I’d be interested to hear your ideas. Healthy church staffs result in healthy churches. And God wants a healthy Church!

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We’re Selling the Church

we're selling the church

I had an intriguing meeting yesterday. As part of my administrative responsibilities, I assist pastors and local churches in securing places of worship. One of the churches I serve is considering relocating and we had a meeting with the representative of a major denomination who is selling one of their properties. This gentleman’s task is to liquidate buildings that they no longer plan to use. The congregation that worshipped in the building we are considering disbanded. They had worshipped in that building for 100 years. The stained glass photo is an actual shot from this beautiful old building.

That is where the conversation got interesting.

This man told me that his denomination is selling all of their buildings where local congregations fail. In essence, he said that they have no plans to bring in new leaders and start new congregations. Church planting and raising up new congregations is “not on the radar.” They will cut their losses and get as much money as possible from the liquidation of the building. After 100 years, they are selling the church.

I was a little stunned by the matter-of-fact way he communicated their approach. I was also a bit shocked that this man could make a living selling church buildings. I wondered how many churches they were closing. Why had they given up on the idea of opening new churches? And I wondered how long they could keep their organizational doors opened by selling off their properties. It’s a matter of math and time until they run out of inventory. And it appears as though the vision of the group has been extinguished.

I choose to allow this denomination to remain unnamed. Believe me, you would recognize the name.

Way more vital than a relocation consideration for our church is the painful truth that this experience reveals. Many once-strong churches are not surviving. Some denominations are abandoning ship and only trying to keep from losing a lot of money in the process. As a denominational leader, I am concerned about our direction. Is this building liquidation a sign of things to come for the church in America?

The true Church is not a building; it is people. But when once-vibrant groups are willing to abandon communities and years of ministry, we have reason for concern. When starting new churches is “not on the radar”, we’d better be worried.

I am not concerned about the future of the church; Jesus promised that She would survive. I am concerned about the future of the world. If the church gives up trying, how will the world be saved?

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It’s Time to Simplify Church Planting

designMy church planting friends may think that I’ve regressed about 30 years. I have not. Possibly, I am looking ahead a few years into the future of effective church planting.

I am increasingly concerned with how complicated church planting has become. I’m afraid that, in our efforts to systematize the starting of new churches, we have eliminated a lot of would-be planters and new churches.

Think about it:

Sign up for two years of training, travel to conferences, meet regularly with your coach/mentor. Submit to multiple personality assessments. Raise $30,000 – $50,000 (cash). Build and train a launch team. Engage in the latest social media marketing campaign. Do a direct mail blitz. Rent a local school or theater. Have preview services. Start a church.

There are only a few people who can realistically comply with all of these requirements. Do we really believe that they are the only ones who should start new churches? I think not. I personally know guys who want to start a church but they are waiting for everything to line up. If we wait for everything to be just right, we’ll never start.

I am a proponent of building a solid infrastructure before launching a church. I have no beef with the very successful church planting organizations around the country. My concern is that some would-be planters are stuck because they think they can’t plant unless they are immersed in the process with one of these organizations. I think we have inadvertently overcomplicated the process of starting churches.

Eventually, the current church planting pot of gold will run out. All of the school auditoriums in town will be rented. Facebook ads will no longer be effective. I think it’s time to reconsider our approach. While stats prove that a strategic system increases the odds of success, I am not convinced that everyone fits into the mold.

I want to encourage any aspiring church planters who read this. Don’t allow the status quo to hold you back. “Best practices” are awesome but God is not limited to what is considered conventional thinking.

If you want to plant a church, try this:

Pray like crazy. Make sure God is calling you. Start meeting with people. In coffee shops, in your home, just come together for prayer or Bible study. You don’t need permission to get together with friends. If the group grows and the need becomes evident, you can start a church. Successful church planting is simply evangelism and discipleship that results in the need for a new church. Rather than starting a church so you can reach people, reach people so you can start a church.

Don’t worry if you don’t have a 6 digit budget. You don’t need a fog machine. No one has ever come to salvation in Christ because of the amazing countdown video your creative team produced.

Simplify.

I believe that in the future, the big production churches will suffer. People are looking for authenticity and relationships. That can’t be manufactured.

Just love people. If you can love enough people, you can start a church.

It’s time to simplify church planting.

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Why Some Churches Don’t Grow

why some churches don't grow 2

It’s not a perfect science. Increasing the impact and influence of a church can be very difficult. We all agree that numerical growth does not necessarily mean spiritual growth. But it is vital that churches around the world reach more people for Jesus. The church is God’s “Plan A” to reach the lost – and we are surrounded by lost people.

Here are 10 simple reasons why churches don’t grow. The list is not complete and these reasons are not written in stone. This is not an attack on pastors who lead plateaued churches. I simply wish to provide some discussion for churches and church leaders who hope to grow.

No passion for growth. Some churches stay the same because there is no desire to reach more people. Possibly there is a lack of awareness or maybe there is a disconnect with the surrounding culture. Many churches seem to be okay with the status quo. It’s business as usual. The tendency is to rely on our abilities more than we rely on God’s miracles. Spiritual lethargy sets in and corrodes a church. Churches that do not want to grow won’t. A lack of intensity will ensure that we stay stuck. We must pray until we receive the fervor; it takes passion to get “unstuck.”

No strategy for growth. It is rare to hear a pastor say that he doesn’t want the church to grow. But without intentionality, a church is not likely to grow. Even when specific strategies are followed, there is no guarantee of increase. But no plan will quickly lead to stagnation. Rather than thriving, our goal becomes to maintain and survive. Have you outlined your blueprint to grow your church?

Unwillingness to change. Some churches know what to do in order to reach more people but they are unwilling to make the necessary adjustments in order to do so. We do the same things the same way – because of tradition. The past is more important than the future; our rearview mirror is bigger than our windshield. This kind of ministry atrophy is especially difficult to overcome. Lack of change will result in lack of growth. Lack of growth will result in extinction.

Lack of “know how.” Don’t believe the “experts” who tell you that church growth is a matter of taking “these 3 easy steps.” You can do certain things that will gather a crowd but true church growth is much more complex and spiritual than simply amassing warm bodies. Many pastors and leaders would gladly do whatever it takes to grow. Many times, church is a matter of doing the right thing the right way long enough that the results finally come. If you don’t know what to do, keep trying. And find out what to do! Leaders must approach the acquisition of this kind of expertise as a life-long ambition.

Intimidation about culture. The world is becoming a scary place for Bible-believing churches. There is now a level of resistance and animosity that many of us have never experienced. It can be easy to see the church as a fortress that serves as a safe place from the evil world. Jesus did not establish His church to be a hiding place. The church is to be a force in our culture. Only the ministries that are confident enough to engage our culture will impact it. Be bold! God has given you the courage you need to overcome.

Fear of increased responsibility. Some leaders dread the responsibility that comes with more people. Let’s face it – fewer people = fewer problems. However, God did not call us to an easy task. While a larger church equates to more pressure and stress, the rewards are that more people find Christ and experience the joy of being His disciples.

Desire to control. There are a few (or many) control freaks who must hold the reigns on everything that happens in their organization. Growth means shared responsibility and authority. Unless a leader is confident and competent enough to share control, new people will be a very limited commodity. A pastor who is in charge of everything won’t be in charge of much. Please don’t limit the size of your ministry to only a few.

Misidentifying relevance as compromise. This one is touchy. Some churches do not grow because they mistakenly think that if they connect with culture, they are somehow being less than true to the Gospel. This simply is not true. Jesus is always pertinent. The Gospel cannot be irrelevant. The church can, however, make the Bible irrelevant. Our job is to stay true to the Scriptures but to preach them in a way that makes sense to the people who hear it. That is not compromise, it is effectiveness. It’s what Jesus did and that seemed to work pretty well.

Ministry schizophrenia. This is where a church gets its identity from other churches. Whatever the next big ministry bandwagon is, they are jumping on! I am all for successful ministry models and I believe that there are principles that apply across the board. But God does not wish to duplicate in every church what works in well-known churches. Be true to yourself and to your calling. Know what will work in your neighborhood, and do it. Know who God called you to be and whom He called you to reach.

A lack of missionality. Churches that exist for their own good are doomed to fail. Inwardly focused ministry is a major turnoff for people who do not go to church. Jesus came, not to be served but to serve (Matthew 20:28); the church must give itself to God and to the needs of the people He loves. We are on a mission from God; if we fulfill it, our churches will grow.

Here is the truth about church growth: churches that don’t grow will shrink and eventually die. In our post-Christian culture, church growth is getting more and more complicated. We need to pray and work like never before. It is possible that you can pray and work hard and your church may still not grow. But we do NOT want to be the reason our church doesn’t grow!

Let’s get on with the responsibility of reaching the world for Jesus Christ. (Matthew 28:19-20).

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Reconnecting the Church with Millennials

Reconnecting the Church with Millennials

We’re hearing more bad news about how young America feels about organized church. Thom Rainer published this article about young church leaders; it also reveals the brokenness that exists between churches/denominations and a major portion of our adult population. While it’s sort of good news for church planters, it’s bad news for everyone for several reasons: The church is God’s plan to reach our culture. If the plan isn’t working, we’re in trouble. It reveals a lack of grace on the part of younger people. My friend Travis Johnson recently preached, “Flaws and all, the Church must be a central priority of our existence as Christians.” We can’t expect the church to be even close to perfect. The church has a lot of good to offer young adults but if we aren’t on speaking terms, nothing will be shared. We shouldn’t have to learn everything by personal experience. Elders have practical wisdom that is needed. Millennials have a lot to offer the church but if we’re not on speaking terms… And one of the biggest reasons this is bad news is – too much of what Millennials believe about the church is accurate. The church can be irrelevant. The church can care more about maintenance than mission. The church can be myopic. As a denominational leader, I can unfortunately respond: guilty as charged!

So, how do we repair the disconnect? I think that, if these breaches are going to be healed, the church has to do a few things; here are just a few:

We have to go to them. I am bothered by people who say/think, “Here we are, if they need us, let them come.” The title of this article reflects a strategy. The church must take the initiative to reach out. In case we haven’t noticed, no one is beating our church doors down to get in.

We have to be willing to talk. This can be intimidating because many 20 and 30 somethings are accustomed to critical thinking. They aren’t afraid to ask the tough questions. Sometimes their attitudes can be perceived as arrogant (and sometimes they are). But these open and honest conversations must take place. These talks are not lectures. They don’t happen during the preaching – they are over coffee. And they may not conclude with a neat little box with a ribbon on top. These talks can be messy, but they are necessary.

We have to be willing to change. Robert Quinn says, “People must surrender some of their previous attitudes, behaviors, positions, and comforts for their organization to advance.” An attitude we’ve heard in the church is, “This is our church, if they don’t like how we do things, they can just stay away.” I’ve heard this or similar attitudes from people who claim to know the exact way that church should be done and are unwilling to consider any adjustments. Without doubt, this is wrong. While the Spirit of Christ will never compromise on the Word of God, there is great flexibility on the part of God when it comes to reaching people. I do not believe that we should ever change the meaning of the Bible, but our methods of doing ministry must change. A church that refuses to change methods in order to connect with the next generation will soon be a former church.

We must do more than just include. My friend Mel Stackhouse recently tweeted, “There’s a big difference between being embraced, and being included; being welcomed vs belonging.” Millennials aren’t stupid; they know when they are being placated. We must care more about people than we do the compliance of the people. They must be valued and respected. We must embrace them; they must know that they belong. And young leaders want to lead! While wisdom and discretion is required for leaders, let’s not wait until someone is too old and tied to lead before we empower them to lead.

Most of all, we must be real. By real, I mean authentic. There is little tolerance for hypocrisy in today’s culture. Churches that preach what they live and live what they preach will find a following. Don’t be afraid to tackle tough topics and offer real-life hope.

I understand the fears of the boomers/leaders of the church. We fear losing something we love very much. If we do nothing about how Millennials feel about the church, that loss is certain.

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Smart Things that Churches Should Do

Smart Things that Churches Should Do

Church is not a building or an institution. Church is people. Because church is people, we have the choice to either do smart things or dumb things. If we do smart things, more people can be led to Christ. Leading people to Christ is a simple way of describing why the church exists.

Here are a few smart things that churches can do that will lead more people to Christ:

Be intentionally multigenerational
Youth are not the church of tomorrow; they are part of the church today. We must provide the resources necessary to reach them now. Quality leaders, authentic compassion and giving them a voice in the ministry process will result in young people who connect with the church. Smart churches know this; they don’t just talk about it, they do it. They invest in young people. But they also respect older people. Those who have paid the price to help get us where we are now need to know that they are treasured. Smart churches value people even if they appear to no longer be on the cutting edge. Smart churches value all generations.

Stay out of ruts
Doing something simply because that’s the ways it’s always been done is the fast track to extinction. Hold to traditions and creeds but do so with purpose. Smart churches change in the right way at the right time for the right reasons.

Stay off of bandwagons
We always have something to learn from others who are succeeding but trendiness and fads can spoil ministry. It appears that God blesses different methods at different times but He doesn’t run out of ideas. Imagination and creativity are spiritual gifts. Smart churches don’t spend a lot of time and energy trying to be another church. Be original, innovative, fresh.

Be real
Speak the language of the people. Do everything with authenticity. Operate with impeccable integrity. Own up to mistakes. Repent often. Be transparent. Smart churches are not manipulative or condescending or disrespectful of people.

Perfect grace
Make room at the table for sinners. Don’t demand perfection. Practice forgiveness and model second chances. Smart churches know that the ground at the foot of the cross is level.

Reach as many people as possible
It’s OK to have a “target market” based on demographics. But smart churches don’t eliminate people because they don’t fit the niche. Specialty churches eliminate people who are different. Jesus doesn’t eliminate these people – neither should we.

Act outside of the local church
Embrace other ministries. Do life in the neighborhood. Minister with a global mindset. Be sure to connect with people outside of your immediate circle. It’s a big world and God is doing amazing things. Smart churches don’t want to miss that!

Promote justice
Don’t tolerate the mistreatment of the innocent. Stand up for victims. Speak out on behalf of the marginalized. Smart churches act as part of the solution to society’s ills.

Release people into ministry
We should encourage people to practice their spiritual gifts. Empower people. Entrust people with responsibility. Smart churches understand that every person and gift is necessary for a fully functioning church.

Be comfortable with not pleasing everyone
Smart churches know that they are not for everyone. Let people disagree and let some leave, if necessary. Pursue those God has called you to reach.

Insist that people dream
Life beats the hope out of people. Smart churches spend a lot of energy building up people. Encourage them to dream again, to chase the vision that God put in them. “Remember who you wanted to be.”

Know what we’re supposed to do and do it well
What is the end goal of church? Jesus summarized our job description in Matthew 28 by telling us to make disciples; we help people by showing them how to be authentic followers of Jesus. That’s it. If we’re smart, we’ll focus all of our attention on that task.

Smart churches do smart things and lots of people come to Christ. You and I are the church. Let’s do smart things.

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The 5 Hardest Things I’ve Done as a Pastor

The 5 Hardest Things I've Done as a Pastor

When you are a pastor, you have a lot of really great days. But you also have your share of bad ones. These are the times when your responsibilities force you into spots that you’d rather not be in. In thinking back over the last 25 plus years, I have mostly good memories, but some difficult times stand out.

Warning: the list below may not be what you’re expecting and it may be difficult to read.

The 5 Hardest Things I’ve Done as a Pastor:

Watch a child die. While we’ve had that unfortunate experience a few times, the day a little boy hemorrhaged to death while his mother held him in her arms is burned into my memory.
Inform two children their father had died. This is a conversation that no one wants to have. I still recall their response.
Identify the bodies of a father and his four-year-old daughter who died in a fire. The sight and smell created lasting trauma for me.
Watch a young leader and friend die a slow and excruciating death. I still argue with God about that one.
Preach the funeral of a 17 year-old suicide victim. There is no adequate way to prepare for that.

No, these events were not about me. But I was there. This is not an effort to garner sympathy. Of course, I did not hurt as much as the family members of these people hurt, but I did hurt.

Notice something about all of the above events – they all involved death. They did not involve a church fight or an argument over money or even a moral failure. Here is the purpose of this article: Sometimes the things that we think are serious are not. The things that really matter involve life and death and eternity.

I hope that the Church can begin to focus more on issues of eternity.

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5 Ways Pastors Frustrate Church Members

5 Ways Pastors Frustrate Church Members

My last post, “5 Ways to Discourage Your Pastor” generated a good amount of interest. In keeping with that theme and in an effort to look at the other side of the issue, we are publishing this quick look at things pastors do that church members dislike. This is not a comprehensive list. It is not an attack on pastors. In fact, this list comes from my personal experience. The goal is to encourage both pastors and church members in ways that they can be more supportive of one another. The goal is unity in the church.

Here we go:

Don’t prepare for message. Pastors who “wing it” aren’t fooling anyone. Modern worshipers are savvy. They know when we have not given 100% in preparing for the message. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been preaching for 25 years; the church, and more importantly, the Lord deserves your very best. Pray, study, get ready! Preaching is a huge responsibility and it should be approached with utmost sincerity and preparation.

Preaching to those not in attendance. It is tempting to pour out frustration while preaching and many times it can be directed toward people who are not in the worship service. Here’s the thing: if the topic you are addressing only addresses the people who are not there, those who ARE there may regret their decision! Don’t preach your frustrations and do preach to those who are there.

Doing everything themselves. Some pastors are control freaks, some are insecure and some simply have not learned how to delegate. But many church members get frustrated when they see their pastor be the “jack-of-all-trades” at church. God has gifted every member of the body to contribute something of significance. Let’s let them.

Being unapproachable. While it is not practical or even safe for all pastors to be available to members before and after worship services, no one likes to see a pastor whisked away after service like a celebrity. Pastors, make yourself available on some level. Remember that we are shepherds and we should know the sheep.

Make big changes, then leave. Name changes, vision/direction changes, building projects, incurring debt, hiring or firing staff…all of these big issues should be followed with an increased tenure on the part of the pastor. Don’t make someone else pay the price for your decisions. If possible, stick around and see the thing through.

To our former church members: I am sorry for the times I failed, and thank you for your patience.
To pastors: Do yourself and your church members a favor and assess this list. If no adjustments are needed, that’s awesome! If you need to tweak a few things, let me encourage you to do so.

By the way, this is round one. Another list of 5 is coming soon!

God bless you!

Photo by Jenny Kaczorowski

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5 Ways to Discourage Your Pastor

5 Ways to Discourage Your Pastor

As a pastor of a local church for over twenty-five years, I had my share of buildups and letdowns. Sometimes I recall the discouraging times more. I know that I was not supposed to get down because of people and circumstances, but it happens. I also know that the people who discouraged me did not always mean to do so. But it happened.

The purpose of this post is to let you in on a few things to avoid (unless you want to discourage your pastor). If you are bent on discouraging him or her, here are 5 surefire ways of doing so:

1. Be a no show at Sunday service. Vacation, kid’s sports, sleeping in … pretty much any excuse for not going to church serves as a way to frustrate a pastor. Of course, there are legitimate reasons for missing church. But the general lack of commitment to the church by members is a major source of discouragement for most pastors. Here is why: non attendance is a statement that whatever we chose over church is simply more important to us at that time; that is discouraging to a pastor, and understandably so.

2. Don’t support the church financially. Statistics show that an overwhelming majority of church attenders give little (or nothing) to the church. Although they are limited in what they can say on this topic, pastors get upset about this for a few reasons. There are spiritual implications and consequences. Lack of generosity indicates a lack of gratitude to God. Lack of giving limits the blessings that God will provide for individuals and churches. It’s no wonder why Pastors get discouraged about this issue.

3. Don’t grow as a disciple of Christ. Good pastors will want to measure the progress of the church members. We preach, teach, pray and counsel with the goal of spiritual maturity for the people. While we see with physical eyes and spiritual growth is difficult to measure, it is frustrating to perceive people as stagnant and stuck in their relationship with Christ. It’s sometimes enough to make a pastor want to quit.

4. Fight progress and growth; refuse to accept change in the church; don’t welcome new people into the church. I once had a church member say to me of our church, “the smaller, the better.” Spiritual leaders take people on a journey. They are assigned by God to move people toward God. They discover where the church is and where God wants to take it. There is no such thing as a leader who remains motionless. When God places a vision for growth in the heart of a leader, it can be devastating if people refuse to go. Certainly, there are many conditions that are required which pastors must observe. They must earn the trust of the people and be able to discern the direction of the Spirit. But once this is realized, the refusal of participation by church members is one of the greatest sources of frustration that a pastor can experience.

5. Leave the church. Although many people approach church as consumers and change every time something happens that they don’t like, pastors hope for more dedication. When someone leaves the church, it hurts personally. It is rejection. Pastors suffer when people leave.

The list could go on…

Most people don’t want to hurt their pastor; I hope you don’t. But please don’t overlook the possibility that you may be doing so inadvertently.

Grace and peace to you!

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Resolutions that Actually Work

2014

Most people don’t stick with their New Year resolutions. Many people no longer bother making them. A few of the reasons that they’re not as effective as we would like are:
They can be emotions based and therefore difficult to sustain long term.
We lack the necessary tools needed for follow through.
We get discouraged when met with resistance.
The New Year isn’t new for long – a week or two in and it’s “business as usual.”

So this year, I’m going with a better plan:
100 Days Resolution.
100 days from January 1 is April 10. I plan to do a few new things for the first 100 days of 2014. I figure they will be solidly embedded into my life by then. Because the resolutions are made for 100 days, I am careful not to overcommit or set some grandiose or unattainable goals. I think this will work!

A few things I am committing to for the first 100 days of 2014:
Take better care of myself physically. I’ve been too hit and miss recently. There will be changes for the first 3 months of 2014.
Read the Bible through with an emphasis on digging deeper. I’ve read cover to cover for many years but, admittedly, there have been times when it has become a project. Not next year. Until at least April, I will slow down and absorb.
Have more fun. I am scheduling in more days off. We have a nice vacation planned in February. I enjoy working a lot of hours but all work and no play makes me dull. The first quarter of next year, I’m playing more.

How about you? Going to make a list of resolutions? I suggest you set a timeframe of 100 days. If April 10 comes and you’re still going strong, the rest of the year will be a no brainer!

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Is Peace on Earth Possible?

manger-to-the-cross

John 20 recounts the resurrection of Christ after He had been crucified. He appears to His disciples on three different occasions. Each time, He greets them with the same phrase: “Peace be with you!” (John 20:19, 21, 26) I believe the reason for this is that they were very troubled by the events of the past few days. Their friend and leader had been killed; they were in hiding, afraid the same may happen to them. Jesus calmed them with His presence and His promise of peace.

I can’t think of a more appropriate greeting for today. If we’ve ever needed peace on earth, we need it now.

A significant statement is made when the angels appeared to the shepherds, announcing the birth of Messiah: “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” (Luke 2:14) This is the message of Christmas – peace on earth.

The purpose of the coming of Jesus is to bring peace, to make a settlement between God and humankind. Clearly, those who are odds with Christ will not enjoy His peace. In fact, He once said, “Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division.” (Luke 12:51) He was speaking of the necessity of choosing Him. Jesus is what separates good from evil, peace from war.

So the only way to have peace is to know Jesus; not just as a newborn baby, but as the resurrected Lord and King. You’ve seen the bumper sticker: No Jesus, No Peace. Know Jesus, Know Peace.

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

Peace be upon the earth, peace be upon you.

Photo: phillipgreene.wordpress.com

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UnHappy Holidays

UnHappy Holidays

What if you are not merry at Christmas?

For so many people, the holiday season is not a time to celebrate. It is a lonely time. It is a sad time. January can’t come fast enough.

Unemployment.
Relationship issues.
Stress.
Broken families.
Not a very joyous Noel.

Before you label these folks as “Scrooge”, look beneath the surface. While some gather with families and open presents and enjoy partying, others are alone, are mourning the loss of a loved one or are otherwise hurting.

While I hope to be very careful so as not to minimize the pain of so many people, I also hope to offer some advice for those of you who are sad during the holidays.

Look around. It has been said, the best way to heal is to help someone else who is hurting. As much as you may be hurting, there is someone who would appreciate you as a friend. Many senior citizens are very alone. Organizations exist that help families of those who are incarcerated. Hospitals, rehab centers homeless shelters and soup kitchens are full of hurting people. Serving these folks is a great way to gain focus. If you look at the pain of someone else, yours may be put into perspective.

Connect with others. Alone for the holidays is not healthy. College students who can’t go home should get together. Expatriates should unite wherever they are. Even people stuck in airports have the opportunity to make something special of a bad situation. You can reach out: A single parent or an immigrant neighbor who does not understand the culture may appreciate your goodwill gesture. Connect with someone on the holiday.

Focus on the spiritual aspects. It is so easy to get trapped in the hype of the season. It seems like a lot of fun, until reality sets in. The truth is, no amount of shopping or partying can fix a broken heart. Only God can do that. That really is the idea behind Christmas. God sent His Son Jesus to be the Savior of the world. He became a human so He could identify with the pain of humanity and heal that pain. The Bible says, “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).” (Matthew 1:23) Choosing to focus on the reason for Christmas should result in an increased awareness of God’s love for you. You are not alone for the holidays, or ever.

Do whatever is necessary to experience genuine joy at Christmas. I truly wish you a blessed and happy holiday season. Merry Christmas to you.

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The Burden Bearer

The Burden Bearer

Long ago, in a faraway country village lived a hard working people known as the rock carriers. Their job was to remove the large stones that blocked the village farmers from plowing their fields. Day after day, year after year, the rock carriers labored at the heavy task of carrying these large stones out of the fields all the way to a distant valley. This was very hard work and the rock carriers grew tired. One day, the rock carriers were delighted to see one of their very own, a young boy, begin to grow and exhibit great strength. As he grew taller and his shoulders grew wider, the rock carriers began to have this strong young man carry their rocks. One by one, they piled their stones onto his shoulders. The larger he grew, the more weight he could carry. He was strong, he could handle the load. He worked tirelessly. Soon, the entire group of rock carriers relied on this one strongman to do their work. They became lazy. And he became tired. Yet they continued to stack up the rocks on his shoulders. After many years, they noticed that the strongman was walking slower now. He began to stoop over while he walked the road to the distant valley. This was no problem for them; in fact, it was easier to just place the rocks on his back rather than all the way up on his shoulders. He was saving them even more work. As the days passed, the strongman stooped farther and farther, until one day he was looking straight at the ground. He was completely doubled over. The villagers continued to pile on their rocks. They hadn’t noticed that the strongman was no longer moving forward. All they knew was that he was such a helper, their lives were so much easier now. The rocks continued to pile up until one day, someone noticed that the strongman had disappeared. How dare he take a day off? Had he gotten lazy and abandoned them when they needed him the most?  So the village rock carriers had to start carrying the rocks again. But they had to carry the rocks all the way around the huge pile of rocks that was now in the middle of the village road. How rude of the strongman to leave the rocks there!

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Jesus) Matthew 11:28

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10 Things Not to Say to a Grieving Friend

10 Things Not to Say to a Grieving Friend

I recently spent the day with dear friends who, like my wife and I, have lost a child. The conversation gravitated to the pain we had experienced, the goodness of God and recovery. But part of the most poignant comments centered around the painful things that people have said to us following the crisis. Some people are well-intentioned, some don’t know any better and some are simply cruel. Regardless of their motives, few people actually know what to say to a grieving person, especially one who has lost a child.

So, while this may seem obvious to some, others need some basic advice. These are things you should not say to someone who has lost a loved one: Yes, I heard all of the things listed below:

Get over it. It’s time to move on and get your life back to normal.

Don’t worry, God will give you another child to replace the one you lost. You could always adopt.

If you had possessed more faith, God would have healed your child.

There must have been hidden sin in your life.

I know what you’re feeling; I lost my grandma, or my cousin, or my dog.

God must have been sparing your child from something worse to come later in life.

God took your child in order to make you a more compassionate person.

You should have prayed harder.

You should have taken your child to a miracle healer.

The reason that all of the above are inappropriate to say to a grieving person is, they are untrue and hurtful. Any attempt to minimize the pain, explain the reason for the loss or make the person feel better is out of place and unappreciated. My experience is, most people who want to fix my pain are trying to play God. They want to understand it all and explain it away. This is ludicrous. These efforts usually resulted in more pain.

So what can you say to a person who is mourning the loss of a child or a loved one?

If you must speak, just say, “I love you” or “I am sorry for your loss” or “I am praying for you.” Many times, it is better to say nothing. Just a hug or a smile will suffice.

When I was standing at the casket of my daughter, a causal acquaintance came up, patted me on the shoulder and handed me a small scrap of paper. On it were the words, Deuteronomy 29:29. This is a Biblical reference that says, “The secret things belong to the Lord.” Those words spoke volumes to me. This was one of those things that only God understood. I am OK with that.

These things belong to God. He understands. Let Him take care of it.

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A Dirty Pulpit

dirty pulpit

 

For those who don’t speak churchy language, a “pulpit” is a piece of furniture that is sometimes utilized by preachers in a church. It holds a Bible and is usually placed front and center of the stage or platform. Other names for the pulpit are podium, lectern, or rostrum.

Recently, I was involved in a project at a church where we were moving some furniture around. I noticed that the pulpit had a lot of dust on it, mostly around the base at the bottom. Obviously it had been some time since the janitor had given it a cleaning. This is not an indictment of the janitor. In fact, I think those guys are the unsung heroes of most churches. I’ve always said that the best possible pastoral training is to serve as a church janitor for a while.

When I saw the dust on the pulpit, it struck me. I thought of what the desk represents: sacredness, purity, preaching the Word of God, the voice of God being heard by the people.  But the dust spoke to me of humanness, of failure and of sin. It is ironic that God chooses such imperfect people to represent and communicate His perfection.

Some people expect a perfect pulpit (or pastor). There is no tolerance for mistakes. There are too many stories of preachers who have sinned. Although gross immorality happens only in a minority of churches, these stories get a lot of coverage in the press. Truthfully, however, there is proverbial dust on every pulpit. Every pastor has a struggle. To err is human.

Regardless of how hard we try, we are covered with dust. Preachers can do the work of God with diligence, yet we are still guilty of sin. This is not an excuse to sin; and be reminded that the standard for Christian leaders is higher than for everyone else (see James 3:1). Pastors, never approach preaching with unconfessed sin in your life. If you are not a pastor, pray for your pastor. But we must be aware that God works in spite of the dust in our lives. We can’t tolerate the dust or accept it as the norm. We’ve got to clean ourselves often. However, part of the wonder of God is that He selects you and me to be His messengers – dust and all. Amazing.

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A Prayer for Judah (our new grandson)

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Dear Lord,

Thank you for sending Judah to us today, he is a gift from heaven. We are not quite sure what to do with him, since we never had a son. A grandson is a unique and precious gift. We thank You for entrusting him to us. We commit to do our very best in helping to raise him the way that You desire.

I pray for him on this first day of his life on this earth.

I pray that:

He will be strong and healthy and safe.

That you will provide his parents with everything they will need in order to raise him to honor You.

That he and his big sister, Sophie will have a wonderful childhood together and an even better relationship as adults.

That He will come to know You at the earliest possible opportunity.

That he will grow up to be a leader, not a follower.

That he will grasp the power of Your love and share that love with others.

That he will help the culture of his day to embrace the Gospel of Christ.

That he will be an earth-shaker for You, one who influences others to follow You.

That he will have courage, strength, confidence, integrity, passion, and faith.

But most of all, I pray that he will be a man of God, a genuine Christian, every day of his life.

Thank you for reminding us, by sending Judah to us, that you have not given up on the world. Our new baby assures us that there is hope.

All in the name of Christ,

Amen

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Good Communication Goes Beyond the Stage

Good communication goes beyond the stage

 

Preaching and communicating are not necessarily the same thing.

This is not a post about preaching. This is a post about how some people are great preachers but not great communicators. There may be a difference.

I know and have heard some dynamic preachers. They can hold an audience in the palm of their hand. They evoke passions and emotions with their sermons. But too many of them are terrible communicators. What in the world do I mean?

Simply because a preacher can engage an audience does not mean that he or she is good at communication. The difference may be understood by categorizing communication into two groups: Group communication and individual communication.

Good preachers know the Bible.

They know how to utilize inflection and tone in their voice.

They use effective body language.

They are authoritative.

They are convincing.

But a guy or gal can be great at these things yet suffer from poor communication skills.

Good communicators look you in the eye and you know they are listening.

Good communicators return phone calls.

They answer emails.

They respond to others.

They remember what they told you and what you told them.

It is very difficult to be a good communicator unless you actually care.

I am not saying that good communication is more important than preaching. It is not. I am saying that preachers need to be reminded that good communication goes beyond the pulpit.

In my opinion, in order for a preacher to be effective, he or she must also be good at communicating with individuals. If he or she is not, they will need to make sure that someone close to them is good at this kind of communication and keeps them connected to the people around them. Otherwise, they lose credibility when their individual communication falls through the cracks. Their preaching will suffer because their smaller-scale communication is weak.

If you are a preacher, work on improving your preaching – it is a vitally important calling. But also work on your one-on-one communication. Pay attention to people. Respond accordingly. I think you will find that your preaching also improves.