Sometimes, not always, a dysfunction or misbehavior can be an indication of previous trauma. For example, sexual promiscuity may be a result of sexual abuse. Harsh response to criticism could indicate insecurity from a lack of affirmation. An out of control temper may reveal a sense of feeling vulnerable or at risk of harm. Harsh judgmentalism can be a coverup for hidden sin. Cynicism and sarcasm may reveal unresolved hurt.
We don’t know what is going on inside other people. But rarely does one’s maladjusted behavior stand alone – something triggers it; there is usually a root cause.
Understand that what we may view as dysfunction may be another person’s normal function. This behavior may be all they know. Their excessive actions may be their safe place, this may be how they have learned to survive. This is not an excuse for irresponsible behavior but at least we should be aware that one’s history has significant influence on one’s current behavior.
Now, let’s turn this inward. What reactions or responses that you exhibit may indicate past trauma that has not been addressed?
Do you hold grudges? Do you like to fight? Are you narcissistic? Do you lack basic compassion? Are you dishonest? Do you bully others? Perhaps there is a root cause that must be addressed. “That’s just the way that I am” won’t cut it anymore.
It’s ok to do some introspection. It’s helpful to peel back layers of the sources of our past pain. It may seem scary but uncovering past trauma is the first step toward recovery.
Most of all, we must allow the grace of God to heal, to cover, to make right the wrongs that may be controlling us. We don’t have to let our past dictate our future any longer.
God wants us whole. He wants our relationships to be healthy. He wants us at peace with Him and others.
You can’t change the past, but God can change your future. Let’s get started.
A while back, an individual told me how much he enjoyed my preaching. As I was feeling affirmed, he proceeded to indicate that he liked my preaching more than he liked the preaching of his “regular” preacher. In a split second, his compliment turned into an awkward, manipulative attempt to make a negative statement about his pastor. I was no longer feeling affirmed.
Thoughts on Life and Leading 