Tag: friends

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You’re More Influential Than You Think

design[4].pngMost of us sell ourselves short. We think we’re not making much of a difference. We assume that other people aren’t all that impacted by what we do. Let’s discuss it.

I believe you influence more people than you think and I believe you influence them in a deeper way than you might know.

Think about it:

  • Those whom you don’t know but know you; maybe the two of you never speak. It could be a neighbor or a friend of a friend. It could be the barista or a flight attendant. Just because you don’t know them doesn’t mean that they are unaware of you. They have an opinion about you.
  • Those you know: maybe those with whom you work or play sports or go to church. You impact them. You may think it is no big deal but if you interact with them, you are making some kind of difference in their life.
  • How about those who know you the best? Your spouse, parents, kids, best friends… I’m sure you are aware that you influence them but maybe you don’t know to what level. I can assure you – your impact on their lives is massive.

The purpose of this post is to help us take full advantage of the relationship opportunities we’ve been given.

You see…

Influence can be positive or negative.

Every word you speak, your body language, even the clothes you wear are noticed. If you return the shopping cart to the corral or don’t pick up after your dog, people notice. I realize we can’t live in the bondage of trying to always leave everyone with a positive impression. But how you treat people matters – a lot. They either feel better or worse after interacting with you.

You are an influential person. I encourage you to use that influence for good; make a positive difference. The world and the people in your life really need it.

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Christmas is Flesh and Blood

images-90We should know by now that the holiday is not about the presents we receive. It really is about people. There are people who actually have to buy their own presents because there is no one in their lives. They are missing the greatest joy.

My heart goes out to a friend who lost both her and sister and her mother this week. I lost my mother this year – Christmas will be a little different this year.  Then I think about the military personnel who are separated from loved ones this week. There are college students, widows, orphans, many people without people in their lives.  People who are incarcerated, even people who have to work through the holidays, will struggle to celebrate to the fullest extent. People make Christmas what I is.

Regardless of what marketers tell us, no amount of spending on presents will fulfill the purpose and meaning of Christmas. Christmas is about people: family, friends, and loved ones.

On the birth of Jesus, Athanasius of Alexandria wrote, “He became what we are that he might make us what he is.” Christmas is God coming in the flesh and shedding His blood – so that we might be saved.

It’s not lights, not trees, not Santa. Christmas is flesh and blood. Be sure to share the love with the people in your life.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

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the value of catching up

We drove about 550 miles yesterday. I spent a good portion of that time talking on the phone with friends, some current and some old. All of the friends I spoke with are colleagues in ministry. They live in different states, and serve in different capacities, but our lives are intersected – we are friends. The conversations were interesting: Some friends were encouraging me. Some were looking for a little advice. Some were hurting and needing a lift. Some just wanted to shoot the breeze. But these conversations were all valuable and necessary. I loved making good use of otherwise useless time. It was productive, both relationally and spiritually.

Here’s the thing: I seldom take time to just call friends to see how they are doing.  By this I mean that people who are not necessarily under my sphere of responsibility sometimes get left out of my life – but this is unintentional. I’m not much of a phone guy and therefore I neglect people whom I shouldn’t. I get busy. As a result, I sometimes miss out on the lives of my friends. I am not available to encourage them or be encouraged by them. My experience yesterday was a reminder of how important catching up really is.

I hope to be more intentional with my friends in the future. While my friends may not be looking for a call from me or even be needing me to call them on a certain day, still, we need to talk. That’s what friends are for.

Be intentional in catching up with friends. Call someone. It’ll do you and them some good.

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people are messy

Our Community Group discussed Proverbs 14 last week. One of the verses created quite a bit of conversation:

Proverbs 14:4 Without oxen a stable stays clean, but you need a strong ox for a large harvest. (NLT)

No, our group does not have a bovine fascination. This verse isn’t about oxen – it’s about relationships.

In essence, I think the verse is telling us that life is simpler if you don’t get too close to people. It’s quieter, cleaner and less complicated. Your “stable” will stay clean if you are the only one in it.

And that philosophy guides the lives of a lot of folks. Isolationists. Loners. Or maybe just “non-people people”.  For whatever reason: shyness, past hurts/disappointments, or insecurities, some people just prefer to be alone. And some of us think that relationships just aren’t worth all the hassle.

But here is what I think: We were not intended to live life alone. True, it is easier not to bother with people. You can do what you want when you want without the worry of what other people think or do. But we were put on this earth to do life with one another. We are better together than we are apart – even with all of the complications of relationships. Part of the development process is working through the challenges. There are things we learn only be growing through the frustrations of relationships. We must have this skill if we’re going to succeed in life. A mess can actually become a beautiful thing. And by the way, the “harvest” part of this verse describes our purpose. God has given us a job to do and it requires a team. If we intend to get anything done for God, it will involve and include other people. There is no way around that.

If you don’t have close friends and if you don’t like your family – life will be cleaner. But you won’t get anything done in life – especially in regard to relationships. Let’s stop looking for perfection in others. Let’s drop our expectations that life with other people will be easy. Of course there will be conflict. Other people will get on your nerves and let you down and make you mad. Welcome to the human race. But we have to keep running in the race.

If something is causing you to remain distant from the church, from friends, from your family – let’s ask God for healing. By the way, He probably won’t answer your prayer to change the other people around you – but He just may change you!

Let’s learn to deal with the dirty stable so we can produce a larger harvest.

Oxen really smell don’t they?