Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who had a problem, a worry or an offense? Of course you have. And have you offered potential solutions to that person, only to have them ignore or refuse to consider the proposed solution? Of course you have. And when that happens, you know you can’t help this person. In fact, you realize that this person is not interested in answers, they only want the problem.
Several weeks ago, a leader-friend of mine shared how one of our colleagues had hurt him. I asked if he had addressed the problem with our colleague – he had not. And he expressed no interest in doing so. This conversation has been repeated many times with many associates. It is a common event.
In many cases, especially if we’re dealing with a supposed “mature” individual, these hurting people prefer to hold on to their hurt. They don’t want answers, they want an excuse to be offended or to worry. If they actually solved the problem, their ability to complain would be hindered. If they solved the problem, they would then be expected to produce results. As it stands, they have a “reason” to be stuck. Their hurt becomes their license to be bitter.
Try to help people, all the people you can. But when you come across a person who refuses to be helped, it may be best to move on to someone else until that individual really wants help. But when they’re ready, then be willing to jump back in to offer the help you have!
Lesson: Be teachable. Stay coachable. Be solutions oriented rather than problem oriented.
Related post: Pastor, You Can’t Fix Everybody: https://rickwhitter.com/2016/05/13/pastor-you-cant-fix-everybody/
Thoughts on Life and Leading 