Tag: leadership

Posted on

Flannelgraph Memories

I grew up in a church age when our Sunday School teachers utilized the most recent multimedia tools available. For the youngins among us, flannelgraph was a primitive teaching tool, with a piece of flannel material stretched over a frame, and a paper likeness of Biblical characters was attached on the board to help in telling the story.  I remember sweet Sister Gregory and Sister English passionately telling the Gospel stories using these rudimentary teaching tools. 

But I had some confusion back then. The background picture seldom, if ever, changed. One week the scene was the Garden of Gethsemane and the next Sunday it was Mount Sinai – but they looked exactly alike! One week, the guy in the blue robe was Peter, the next week, he was Paul. The bald guy may be Matthew one week and Isaiah the next (I assumed the bald guy should be Elisha!)  Our teachers explained that these people had died and were now in heaven. So, I deduced that, when one of our elderly saints in the church died, they would show up on the flannelgraph board next week. Sister Lane and Brother George never showed up on the board – which made me wonder if they made it to heaven! Then, one of the mean boys in class (not me!) drew a Hitler mustache on one of the characters, maybe Joseph or maybe John. I was mortified at the sacrilege! Finally, after years of use and some abuse, the flannel began to weaken, and the characters could no longer remain attached on the board – they would fall off at the most inopportune times. And the boys, me included, would laugh. 

It was archaic and old fashioned. But it worked! Those stories came alive, not because of the flannelgraph, but because our faithful teachers were passionate about them, and because they loved the students.     

Thankfully our kids and teachers have more effective learning tools these days. But it’s not the tools that deserve the credit – it is the faithful servant leaders who minister each week to our children. Thank you; you are heroes of the faith!

I’ll never underestimate the importance of these foundational experiences in my faith formation! The visual elements were crude but they got the job done. Those teachers invested in me. I’m forever indebted to them and to the church for providing the best that they had.  

Posted on

Shepherd or Hireling?

Church leaders are one or the other. The Scriptures are clear, the sheep belong to the Good Shepherd, Jesus. Those who serve churches are simply undershepherds. As such, we will give account to the Lord as to how we served His flock. 

So, what is a hireling? “A labourer employed on hire for a limited time. His wages were paid as soon as his work was over.” (Easton’s Bible Dictionary) 

“In the New Testament the word “hireling” (misthotos) occurs only in John 10:12, where his neglect of the sheep is contrasted unfavorably with the care and courage of the shepherd who owns the sheep, who leads them to pasture and lays down his life for their protection from danger and death.” (International Standard Bible Encyclopedia)

I have witnessed the behaviors and characteristics of both shepherds and hirelings, and have developed this simple summary: 

Pastors love the flock; hirelings love attention.

Pastors serve the flock; hirelings use the flock for their own selfish gain.

Pastors pray for the flock; hirelings prey upon the flock.

Pastors promote the flock; hirelings promote themselves. 

Pastors sacrifice for the flock; hirelings steal from the flock. 

Pastors build up the flock; hirelings build their brand. 

Pastors invest themselves into the flock; hirelings use the flock for the own benefit.

Pastors defend the flock; hirelings demand of the flock. 

Pastors are thankful for their flock; hirelings take advantage of the flock.

Pastors protect the flock; hirelings manipulate the flock. 

John 10:11-12 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. 12 But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them.

Posted on

What Dysfunction May Reveal

Sometimes, not always, a dysfunction or misbehavior can be an indication of previous trauma. For example, sexual promiscuity may be a result of sexual abuse. Harsh response to criticism could indicate insecurity from a lack of affirmation. An out of control temper may reveal a sense of feeling vulnerable or at risk of harm. Harsh judgmentalism can be a coverup for hidden sin. Cynicism and sarcasm may reveal unresolved hurt.

We don’t know what is going on inside other people. But rarely does one’s maladjusted behavior stand alone – something triggers it; there is usually a root cause.

Understand that what we may view as dysfunction may be another person’s normal function. This behavior may be all they know. Their excessive actions may be their safe place, this may be how they have learned to survive. This is not an excuse for irresponsible behavior but at least we should be aware that one’s history has significant influence on one’s current behavior.

Now, let’s turn this inward. What reactions or responses that you exhibit may indicate past trauma that has not been addressed?

Do you hold grudges? Do you like to fight? Are you narcissistic? Do you lack basic compassion? Are you dishonest? Do you bully others? Perhaps there is a root cause that must be addressed. “That’s just the way that I am” won’t cut it anymore.

It’s ok to do some introspection. It’s helpful to peel back layers of the sources of our past pain. It may seem scary but uncovering past trauma is the first step toward recovery.

Most of all, we must allow the grace of God to heal, to cover, to make right the wrongs that may be controlling us. We don’t have to let our past dictate our future any longer.

God wants us whole. He wants our relationships to be healthy. He wants us at peace with Him and others.

You can’t change the past, but God can change your future. Let’s get started.

Posted on

When People Don’t Want Solutions

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who had a problem, a worry or an offense? Of course you have. And have you offered potential solutions to that person, only to have them ignore or refuse to consider the proposed solution? Of course you have. And when that happens, you know you can’t help this person. In fact, you realize that this person is not interested in answers, they only want the problem. 

Several weeks ago, a leader-friend of mine shared how one of our colleagues had hurt him. I asked if he had addressed the problem with our colleague – he had not. And he expressed no interest in doing so. This conversation has been repeated many times with many associates. It is a common event.

In many cases, especially if we’re dealing with a supposed “mature” individual, these hurting people prefer to hold on to their hurt. They don’t want answers, they want an excuse to be offended or to worry. If they actually solved the problem, their ability to complain would be hindered. If they solved the problem, they would then be expected to produce results. As it stands, they have a “reason” to be stuck. Their hurt becomes their license to be bitter.

Try to help people, all the people you can. But when you come across a person who refuses to be helped, it may be best to move on to someone else until that individual really wants help. But when they’re ready, then be willing to jump back in to offer the help you have!

Lesson: Be teachable. Stay coachable. Be solutions oriented rather than problem oriented.   

Related post: Pastor, You Can’t Fix Everybody: https://rickwhitter.com/2016/05/13/pastor-you-cant-fix-everybody/

Posted on

Leadership 101

Leaders must make the best decisions possible for the people and the organizations they serve. Sometimes, some people won’t like the decision, sometimes many people won’t like it, but leaders are tasked with assessing situations and making the calls that are necessary. This is not always easy. In fact, there are times that the last thing a leader wants to do is to make a tough decision in a contentious issue. But courageous leaders lead on, regardless.

Before reacting to a leader’s decision and before expressing disapproval, consider that the leader knows details that are not common knowledge, and an integrous leader cannot and will not share those details. Perhaps if we knew the details the leader knows, we would have a different opinion.

Remember, leaders will give an account to God for using discretion, discernment, and integrity regarding the organization and the people they are called to serve. And rest assured that in any respectable organization, the leader is also accountable to other leaders. Corrupt leaders will be judged, and honorable leaders will be rewarded – by the One who sees all and knows all.

So, pray for your leader.

Understand that they know details that you don’t.

Support your leader as much as you are able.

And know that, how you treat your leader is how you can expect to be treated by those you lead.

Posted on

5 Reasons to Go to Church

Folks can think of a million reasons NOT to go to church. I have 5 simple reasons why we should go.

1. There’s no place like church home. Watching services online or on television is a nice substitute, but they cannot replace the experience of being in the same room with fellow worshippers, encountering the presence of God together and responding corporately. God does things when the Church gathers that can happen in no other setting.

2. Your church needs you. According to Scripture, each of us are a part of the Body of Christ and each part is necessary. If we are not present to do our part, either our part will not get done or someone else will have to do it. You and I have specific spiritual gifts, talents, abilities and callings that are unique. No one else can fill your role in the church like you. Your church needs you there.

3. Future generations need an example to follow. If our generation abandons the church gathering, there may be no church gathering available for those who come behind us. Know that when you faithfully attend church services, you are setting an example for others to follow, and they most certainly will need church.

4. It’s a Biblical mandate. Regardless of what some may say, God expects us to gather with our church family. While missing church may not be a sin or a requirement to go to heaven, it most certainly is an expectation displayed in the Bible. Of course, we are wise if we follow the Biblical patterns.

5. You need your church. You need to hear your pastor preach. You need to sing along with other church members. You need to tithe and give in the offering. You need the fellowship of other Believers. You need to serve and exercise your gifts.

You may be able to survive without these things but, without questions, you will not thrive spiritually without these things.

Let’s go to church!

Posted on

You Owe What You’ve Been Given

Most would agree, if we have any true success in ministry, it’s all the Lord’s, He receives the glory. But if He gives you success, does He expect more from you?

Yes, He does!

If the Lord helped you to build your church from 0 to 50 people, you have an obligation to teach others how to do so. If He enabled you to grow a church from 50 to 100, or 100-500, there are pastors just waiting for the information you possess. If God allowed you to be a successful evangelist, missionary, church planter or administrator, you owe it to the kingdom of God to teach others the ability that God has given you.

Some may say that they are too humble to tell others how they did it. They don’t want to be guilty of arrogance and hubris. It’s not arrogant to share the good news, it’s selfish to not share the good news.

Others may say they don’t know anyone who will listen to them. I say, find someone who is currently where you were before God allowed your progress – and offer to buy them coffee. Relationship will open the door for influence.

Still others are waiting for permission to share. They lack the pedigree or title or platform.

You don’t need permission to help others; your possession of knowledge requires you to help others!

This is the way God established it to work. He blesses us so we can bless others, He expects us to share. “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” (Luke 12:48 NLT) We need those who have been blessed by God to show others how to be blessed.

This is Biblical church growth, this is Kingdom growth. Think about it.

Posted on

The Lady Doth Protest Too Much, Methinks

The famous line in Shakespeare’s Hamlet is a way of indicating doubt of someone’s sincerity, especially regarding the truth of a strong denial. Hamlet’s mother, Queen Gertrude feels that the strong expressions of love and fidelity by the character are too excessive to be believed.

In other words, her “going overboard” is an indication of something fishy.  

Ah, such moxie; such emotional intelligence. It takes deep perception, even discernment to detect when someone is arguing too hard against a proposition – so hard that there seems to be an attempt to cover up. Overcompensation comes to mind. 

Be on guard. When you find someone who vehemently attacks a particular sin or fault, when they zero in with laser focus, when they refuse to express any possibility of innocence in the life of others, they just may be protesting too much. Pounding with a 100-pound sledge hammer may reveal duplicity. 

In other words, “going overboard” can be an indication of something fishy going on.  

Don’t go looking for it, but the next time you see someone ruthlessly attacking the behavior or lifestyle of others, raise your antenna. They just might be dealing with that very same issue in their own life. 

Many years ago, I watched a very famous television evangelist verbally pound on pornographers. In my spirit, I felt it. I said to my brother, “He’s guilty, just watch.” Sure enough, within a few weeks, his perverted sexual escapades were exposed to the public.   

So, fair warning. If you’re guilty of misdeeds, not everyone will be fooled by your overacting. Your pointing of the finger and verbal barrages and social media blitzkriegs will more than  likely cause some smart people to wonder.  And the more you protest, the more we will wonder. 

By the way, let’s not become cynical. Let’s not doubt everyone who “protests.” Assume the best. Practice, “innocent until proven guilty.” Give the benefit of the doubt. And practice grace.

But don’t be fooled by the people who protest too much. Methinks. 

Posted on

A Theory on Generational Prayer

Allow me to run a little theory by you, see what you think. 

My brilliant daughter, Jessica and I were talking at a family funeral last week about her children and how they have multiple generations of prayer covering over them. We can trace back at least 4 generations, by name, grandparents who prayed for their progeny. Although they had no way of knowing the names and specifics of my grandchildren, these precious saints of God prayed for their “Children and their children’s children.” That includes Sophie and Judah! 

But here is where we landed. The Scripture indicates that, “golden bowls full of incense which are the prayers of the saints” are kept before the altar of God. As I understand it, these prayers that are prayed throughout the history of humankind remain before God, as an active agent. They are not prayed one time, heard by God and discarded. They remain in the ears of God throughout eternity; it is as though they are continuing to be prayed long after these Christians are in heaven. 

So, the idea is cumulative prayer. The prayers stack up. For each generation, the amount of prayers prayed for them just keeps increasing. Think of these prayers amassing, heaping up, multiplying, snowballing!

Here is what Jess and I concluded: The closer we get to the end of days, the more sin is compounded and the more spiritual pressure our children will experience. My grandchildren face things unimaginable in my childhood. I must confess, I worry for them. BUT! The Word of God teaches that, “where sin abound, the grace of God abounds all the more.” (Romans 5:20). God knew that our children would be faced with spiritual opposition like no generation before them. So, He planned for an ever-increasing system of prayer support for them. My grandkids have more prayer covering that I did, because they need it. For every person who prayed for my early Christian foreparents, they are also praying for my grandchildren and their children and their children’s children – until the end of time. How powerful is that!?

We worry about the future for our families. But God has supplied a cumulative prayer structure that dates back to the time of Christ. Thousands, perhaps millions of prayers! 

Satan may fight our kids, but God has an army of prayer warriors that have gone ahead with the weapon of prayer to keep the enemy at bay. God will win!

I have a new sense of assurance and excitement for my grandchildren and their children!

And this also reminds us of how crucially important it is that you and I pray for our progeny.            

Posted on

10 Observations about Pastors

  • Pastors want to be respected. Regardless of the size of the church or the budget, each man and woman desires to be treated with dignity. And they deserve it.
  • Pastors want to know that they are making a difference. In the Movement, in the community and in the local church, they want to be assured that their work matters and is efficacious.
  • Pastors want to be part of something bigger than themselves. They are not small thinking or selfish; they enjoy investing outside of themselves and their local churches.
  • Pastors really do care about their flocks and they want to be the best shepherds they can possibly be. They are compassionate, servant leaders. 
  • Pastors are eager to secure new resources and gain new insights. Self-improvement and life-long learning is widely accepted and practiced.
  • The vast majority of pastors want their churches to grow; they want to see more people won to the Lord and they want to make more disciples. 
  • Most pastors are very concerned about the future of the ministry and they want to prepare the next generation of Pastors and leaders. Some are concerned because this is not happening on a large enough scale.
  • Most pastors have similar needs and desires: more committed people, additional resources (funds, time, volunteers), and more ministry progress.
  • The vast majority of Pastors work hard to give their very best to the Lord and His Church, and take joy in doing so. 
  • Most (but not enough) Pastors prioritize their families as their first ministry. 

I am basing my observations on this: 

Over the last nearly 12 years, I have preached around 450 messages in around 400 churches. I’ve ministered primarily in 3 states but have also preached in around 12 others. I have preached mostly in Church of God churches but also in a few outside of our movement. I have met many Pastors, spent time in fellowship with them and their families, have visited in many homes and have developed close friendships with many. I humbly believe that I am in touch with the local Church and can speak to the state of many Pastors. I am grateful to serve as a Pastor to Pastors. 

These local church Pastors are the unsung heroes of the Church.

Though the challenges of ministry are significant, and although there is immense pressure on today’s church leaders, they don’t want or need sympathy; they desire prayer support.

God sees and will reward faithfulness on the part of Pastors.

We love you, Pastor! 

Posted on

The Greatest Resource for Ministry is Not Money

When I ask Church Planters how I can help them, they almost always request money. Those who are revitalizing exisiting churches usually make the same request. Even Pastors who are leading thriving churches are quick to list finances as their greatest ministry need.

“If I just had (x dollars), we could (fill in the blank)…” 

But I contend that money is not the greatest resource for ministry. While this is not my focus, it must be stated that our greatest ministry needs are spiritual in nature. But for this article, let’s talk about a tangible issue.

The Greatest Resource for Ministry is Relationships

We need people more than we need money.

We need friends more than we need buildings.

We need confidents more than we need staff.

We need others who care more than we need equipment.

We need advisors more than we need volunteers.

We need people we love and who love us more than we need the latest program or method.

Solid, steady, growing and trustworthy relationships will lead us to all of the other necessities for ministry. But those relationships must be:

  • Pure – free from ulterior motives. If you’re making friends with rich people in an effort to get their money, shame on you.
  • Intentional – we must be purposeful in building relationships with people who we normally wouldn’t know.
  • Diverse – make friends with a wide variety of people, inside and outside of the church.
  • Mutually benefical – it’s not a healthy relationship if it is one sided.

Ministry is relationships. If you’re starting a church, seek people, not money. If you’re rebuilding a stagnate church, it’s about people. Pastors of strong churches, keep the folks as your main focus. 

Let’s get relationships right, then ministry will be right; needed resources will accompany relationships. If relationships aren’t right, nothing is right. 

Posted on

What Motivates One to Lead?

The desire and ambition to be a leader is a very good thing. Leaders make good things happen for others. But the whybehind the desire to lead is crucial to understand.  If we have a leader who is motivated by the wrong thing, the Church is in for trouble. 

The need to be needed, the desire to be the focus of attention (selfishness), and wanting to be “in charge” will drive some folks into leadership, and will drive those around them to flee. Ulterior motives such as bringing down an enemy, making lots of money, manipulating others to serve and gaining notoriety are poison that will quickly kill an organization. 

On the other hand, sacrificing for the good of the movement, serving others, uniting and building up the Church, and moving the Church toward the Lord’s will are all pure and godly motives for leading.  

I Thessalonians 5:13 teaches us: “And we beseech you, brethren, that you come to know those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you.” “Know those” really means to acknowledge our leaders, but there is much to be said for knowing, understanding motives and discerning the intents and desires of an aspiring leader in the Church.

Let’s check our motives and remain pure in our desires. Let’s not be influenced or fooled by someone who is, with impure motives, chomping at the bit to take the reins. Let’s seek the Lord for discernment, let’s fast and pray for motives to be revealed, and let’s anticipate the Spirit’s direction in who will lead.     

Posted on

New Life for an Old Church

Churches, like people, age. Growing older isn’t a bad thing, (it beats the alternative!), but churches that age without adding new attenders won’t continue to grow old, they will die. All over America, churches are closing their doors because no one is attending anymore; the old attenders passed away and no one replaced them.

We don’t want our churches to die! So, what can we do?

Let’s bring New Life to Old Churches!   

A “new” Pastor. I am not a proponent of automatically bringing in a new pastor when the church stops growing, although sometimes that is needed. But it’s better for the current Pastor to become, “new.” New vision, new passion, a new burden for the community…all these are characteristics of a Pastor that can lead new life for the church. 

In other words, new life for the church begins with new life for the Pastor. 

Pastor, if you desire a fresh wind to blow over the church you serve, start reviving yourself. You may be tired, you could be burned out, but as long as you’re the leader, God has spiritual refreshing for you. 

New Leaders: Once again, it may not be a bad idea to recruit a new crop of local church leaders. But much preferred is when the old leaders get revived! If the leaders follow the example of their Pastor, they will enjoy times of spiritual refreshing and a return to their passion for the Lord. This passion must be more than a desire to do things the way they used to be done. This fervency must be for the presence of the Lord, compassion for the lost and a desire to reach the community. This passion must overpower our tendency to prefer the old ways. 

“New” leaders will bring new life to an old church.    

A new Vision. Slogans aren’t enough. A fresh coat of paint and planting new shrubs may be helpful, but this is not new vision. God has a fresh vision, a new dream for each season of the church. This is not to say that what God did in the church in the past was bad, but He hasn’t run out of fresh ideas. What innovative ideas, what creative new approaches may the Spirit be inspiring? What is God saying to the church about new ways to reach the people of the community? Here is a hint: find a need and meet it! 

A new Pastor and new leaders will dream new dreams about a new church. 

New Changes! This is the part that is hard for those who love the old church. The new church won’t look like the old church. The people who are drawn to a new church won’t necessarily look like those who’ve been around for years. There will be new families with new babies and new needs will arise. Old nurseries will be brought back to life. Old Youth Rooms will need to be renovated. Empty activity calendars will fill up. And old worship services will be revived with new people, new worship styles and new results. New members, new training, new volunteers, new ministries, new energy and new excitement! 

An old church will become new when the old church attenders embrace the joy and beauty of newness in their church. They won’t refuse to adapt, they will lead the charge! 

A new Pastor and new leaders and new vision and new changes will result in a new church! And the results will be new names written in God’s book! (Revelation 21:27)   

Let’s bring New Life to our old churches! 

Posted on

Do You Pastor a Struggling Church?

Do you Pastor a struggling church? 

Have you ever said this? 

Our church is struggling because:

Old traditions are holding us back.

The church has a bad reputation in town.

There is a church boss, and it’s not me.

We don’t have enough help (leaders/volunteers).

Our location is bad.

Our finances are limited.

There is a power struggle in the church.

The Board/Council controls everything.

Our building is in bad shape.

We have no music, no youth ministry, no children’s program… 

We can’t compete with the big churches in town. 

In my years of administrative leadership, these are 11 of the most common reasons I hear from Pastors as to why their ministry is not flourishing.

Let’s have some dialogue. While none of us have all the answers, some of us have some of the answers. And we all have encouragement to give to one another. 

I’d love to hear from you!

Posted on

The Coliseum of Social Media

But the lions are in the stands.

I’m afraid we’ve entered the age of a virtual coliseum where barbaric, human-spirit shredding is the preferred entertainment. The paragraph below provides a brief description of how depraved and cruel people were in Vespasian’s day. I believe they had nothing on our culture!  

“The Roman Colosseum Arena was a stage of combat for the gladiators and occasionally staged mock naval battles. Its 80,000 seat stadium inspired the gladiators, who were mostly slaves, criminals, or prisoners of war, to fight for their freedom. The horrors of the blood-thirsty crowd of thousands cheering on the gladiators’ fight for their lives leaves it to our imagination what entertainment meant to the ancient Romans.” (https://www.headout.com/blog/rome-colosseum-arena/)

One of the hottest tickets at the Roman coliseum was when Christians were mercilessly fed to hungry lions. They were savagely martyred as “fans” watched, ate their popcorn and jeered the bloody Christians.  

Today, bloodthirsty and merciless spectators are provided front row seats in the arena of social media to chant, humiliate, dehumanize and destroy those with whom they disagree. They have an opinion about everything. They pretend they can outperform everyone, regardless of their lack of actual usefulness. But they are so much more than spectators, they are virtual lions, digitally tearing people to shreds. 

This is how today’s coliseum differs from ancient Rome: the lions are not on the arena floor doing battle, the lions are spewing their hateful wickedness from the cheap seats. They are not engaged in the battle, they are too cowardly to risk their lives. So, they cruelly butcher those brave enough to actually fight. They sit on their mother’s couch, hiding behind their keyboard, and talk trash, fearless of repercussions.  

I personally know individuals who are in the very public arena, trying to perform their craft in a professional manner, who have drawn the ire of the crowds. These crowds won’t simply share their disdain for the lack of performance with family or friends, they take to the only place where they can say anything they want to say without consequence: social media. The cruelty is unimaginable in a civilized world. I personally believe we left that world behind a few years ago.  

If you are a productive member of society and become the target of these vulgar barbarians, take heart, you are not alone. Let’s not expect the lions to let up. They won’t have any mercy. They will take great delight in trying to destroy you. But they can’t make you quit unless you allow them.  

Stay in the fight, ignore the social media lions.

By the way, I am not currently a victim of these social media trolls, but I have dear friends and colleagues who are. To them I say, stay focused. Do your job. Let the lions roar. Perhaps they’ll soon become so intoxicated on flesh and blood that they pass out. 

History will prove that you were a warrior and they were nothing more than a roaring but cowardly lion. 

Posted on

You Don’t Have Many (Spiritual) Fathers

This title comes from I Corinthians 4:15: “You may have ten thousand mentors in Christ, but you don’t have many fathers.” The Apostle Paul is exhorting the Believers in Corinth as the one who led them to the Lord. He had discipled them. He had invested in them. Yet they were not following his leadership.

This is a common problem.

I’d like to utilize this passage to address the issue of spiritual fatherhood/motherhood, and speak about why so few spiritual parents are engaged in discipling younger believers.

Paul is frustrated. He is not seeing his kids exemplify the desired behavior. His “students” are failing. He hopes to restore the brokenness in the teaching/mentoring relationship.

Here are a few reasons why so few seasoned believers serve as spiritual mothers and fathers:

  • Few seasoned leaders have the patience to deal with less mature folks. It seems the older we get, the more we forget what it is like to be young. 
  • Not enough leaders are willing to invest the time, energy and resources needed to serve as a spiritual parent.  It’s much like couples who don’t want children so they won’t be tied down.
  • Some older leaders are intimidated by younger leaders. They feel insecure and are afraid they will lose something by raising up others. We must do better.
  • A few older leaders had no role model when they were developing. They never had the advantage of a spiritual parent, so they don’t know how to become one.  
  • Too many experienced leaders get caught up in methodologies and refuse to adjust or compromise their preferences. Their insistence on rigid adherence to traditions limits their effectiveness in leading less experienced leaders.
  • Some spiritual fathers forget that their spiritual children are children. They expect the relationship to be mutually beneficial. They think their son or daughter should affirm them. They may even “serve” with ulterior motives: to make themselves feel needed and appreciated. 
  • Some potential spiritual parents have discovered that there are few who are willing to be parented. Some spiritual children believe they already know it all. They refuse to sit, listen, learn. Or they only want a spiritual parent that will tell them what they want to hear; no correction, no rebuke, no discipline. And some are only looking for “cool” spiritual parents: the ones who look right, dress right, talk right and are popular.   
  • Some spiritual parents are put off by spiritual children who can’t wait for their parents to get out of the way so they can become the leaders. 

Here is what I’m learning about being a spiritual father: It’s very much like being a biological father. Especially when the “kids” are young, I do the work. I pay the bills. I initiate the communication. I overlook the immaturity. I provide the safety and instruction and covering. And I must be prepared for the slow maturing process to take shape. I may be ignored, forgotten, disrespected and even abandoned. But I am called to father these folks.  

As the children mature, my role transforms; I am less of a trainer and more of a cheerleader.  I’m proud as they excel right past me. I stand back and watch them flourish. I am still a father, but my responsibility changes to a supporter rather than a provider. And spiritual parents seldom are recognized for their children’s success. We must be more than OK with that. 

I am called by God to be a spiritual father. Sometimes that is a joy, at other times, a challenge. But if I refuse to serve as a spiritual father, I bear the responsibility of some precious individuals who will struggle. 

Thankfully, my spiritual sons and daughters are gradually maturing and becoming what God intended. 

Posted on

The Farther Away You Are, The Easier It Looks 

For the non-preachers among us. 

Unless you are a public speaker, you likely won’t realize how hard it is to be a public speaker. I have watched over a thousand preachers preach. And I’ve preached over a thousand messages. Preaching is not just public speaking, it is delivering a verbal message from God, a message with eternal consequences, and a message for which the preacher will give an account to God.  I hope I don’t have to convince you that preaching is a hard thing to do.

On many occasions, I have watched from a distance as a skilled preacher worked his or her craft, thinking how effortless it seemed for them. They were smooth, articulate and seemingly very comfortable in that role. But I’ve seen some of those very same speakers from up close. Close enough to see the stress on their face, to see the passion in their eyes and even frustration in their expressions at how the message was going.

Like watching a professional athlete from your recliner, it’s easy to think that anyone can do what these people are doing.

Leading is hard, but it looks easier from a distance. So, this article is not only about speaking, it is metaphorically addressing support for leaders. Get close enough to your leaders to know if you can truly support them, and if so, get close enough so that they are certain of your support.

Through the years, I have known a few church members that, I am convinced, wanted to be as far away from me as possible – so they sat on the back row. That’s a tough experience for a pastor. I want the best seats I can afford at a baseball game. I don’t want to sit in the back of a concert. Likewise, I want to be as close as possible to God’s messenger.  

I encourage people to enter the arena, get front row seats. Sit close enough to hear the gasp when a running back gets the air knocked out of him. Close enough to smell the perspiration of the athletes. Close enough to see the disappointment of losing in the eyes of a defeated player. “Close” is the only way to have the full experience. 

This is one reason I’ve always implored church members to sit up front in church services. From a distance, preaching is no big deal, anyone could do the Pastor’s job. But if you are close enough to them sense the weight and responsibility of the sacred moment, you’ll likely:

Be less critical.

Not take them for granted.

Pray more for them.

Take to heart more seriously what they’re saying.

Be warned, depending upon how passionately your pastor preaches, you may want to be prepared to dodge saliva. Lol 

But get up close for the ministry of the Word. Sit up as far as you can. Invest yourself in the sermon – you get out what you put it. *Be careful with your body language. Take notes. Let your pastor see the receptivity in your eyes. Let them know you’re in their corner. Limit the distractions of other people.  Most of all, be close enough to gain the full appreciation of how powerful and wonderful and challenging preaching the Word of God (and leading in general) really is.

*https://rickwhitter.com/2011/11/07/preaching-is-two-way-communication/

Posted on

Will 2022 be better than 2021?

02

If 2022 is to be better than 2021, I must own the responsibility. I’m not arrogant enough to think that I have the solutions to all the mess that is going on around the world. And I don’t pretend to have the influence to impact big change around me. 

But I am responsible for a better new year, nonetheless.

Let me tell you what I DON’T plan to do:

I don’t plan to spend all my time pointing out the failures of others.

I won’t try to fix other people.

I won’t target others as a way to make the future brighter. That would be ludicrous.

I hope not to sit and complain, fret and be hopeless. 

This is how I hope to make 2022 better than 2021:

I’m asking myself (more importantly, I’m asking my wife and a few trusted friends) what I need to change personally in 2022. How can I improve? What should I stop doing? What new habit or discipline will make me more effective? How can I be a better man, husband, father, grandfather, friend and leader? I am asking the Lord to help me in my weaknesses, to teach me a better way to live, to increase my wisdom and to change me by the power of the Word of God and the Holy Spirit. If I change, grow and improve, 2022 will be better than 2021. 

This may sound a little silly to you. How can one person make a year better? My approach is focused on my responsibility to do what I can do. The major issues of society are beyond the scope of my abilities; although I care deeply, there is little impact I can make on major problems. But I can change me – and I am the only one who can change me.  

If 2022 is to be better than 2021, I must own the responsibility.

Posted on

The Older I Get, the More Diligent I Must Become

As we do every year this time of year, Letha and I have been talking about next year: how to improve, how to be more effective, how to make sure we are maximizing our opportunities. While prayerfully pondering this, a thought came to me.

The older we get, the harder we have to work if we hope to to improve. When we were younger, maturing and growth allowed us the presumption that we would improve with age, and most of the time we did. Simply living and learning about life allowed us to progress in our effectiveness. But now, improvement comes with a greater cost. Now that I am a more seasoned leader, I can’t just pass time and get better at things, I actually have to be intentional in my growth. What a revelation!

Allow me to explain. I have less energy now than I did when I was forty. So if I want to stay in good shape physically, I have to discipline myself to get off the couch and move (which I do!). Like many my age, my natural tendency may be to go with what is comfortable and familiar. But my comfort zones destroy my productivity! Now that I’m older, I enjoy my old friends. But as important as my old friends are, I need to stretch and grow in relationships, networks and connectivity. I can’t just recline in the “Lazy Boy” of life and expect to advance; I’ve got to be purposeful, intentional and action-oriented.

So if 2022 is going to be a better year than 2021, I have to work harder and think harder and behave harder than I have this year. Slothfulness and resting on my laurels (*info for this reference below) will defeat me. As a leader, the older I get, the more diligent I must become.

I want to improve until the day that I die. I want to be a better Christian, husband, father, Pop (grandfather), friend and leader. That won’t happen organically; I must work to improve.

So look out New Year, I’m coming for ya! I’m excited about 2022!

*https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/rest-on-his-laurels.html