Tag: mental-health

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What Dysfunction May Reveal

Sometimes, not always, a dysfunction or misbehavior can be an indication of previous trauma. For example, sexual promiscuity may be a result of sexual abuse. Harsh response to criticism could indicate insecurity from a lack of affirmation. An out of control temper may reveal a sense of feeling vulnerable or at risk of harm. Harsh judgmentalism can be a coverup for hidden sin. Cynicism and sarcasm may reveal unresolved hurt.

We don’t know what is going on inside other people. But rarely does one’s maladjusted behavior stand alone – something triggers it; there is usually a root cause.

Understand that what we may view as dysfunction may be another person’s normal function. This behavior may be all they know. Their excessive actions may be their safe place, this may be how they have learned to survive. This is not an excuse for irresponsible behavior but at least we should be aware that one’s history has significant influence on one’s current behavior.

Now, let’s turn this inward. What reactions or responses that you exhibit may indicate past trauma that has not been addressed?

Do you hold grudges? Do you like to fight? Are you narcissistic? Do you lack basic compassion? Are you dishonest? Do you bully others? Perhaps there is a root cause that must be addressed. “That’s just the way that I am” won’t cut it anymore.

It’s ok to do some introspection. It’s helpful to peel back layers of the sources of our past pain. It may seem scary but uncovering past trauma is the first step toward recovery.

Most of all, we must allow the grace of God to heal, to cover, to make right the wrongs that may be controlling us. We don’t have to let our past dictate our future any longer.

God wants us whole. He wants our relationships to be healthy. He wants us at peace with Him and others.

You can’t change the past, but God can change your future. Let’s get started.

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some things can’t be fixed

I came across a story recently that is hard for me to shake. My goal is not to make some kind of a spiritual statement. I simply think it is beneficial to sometimes wrestle with uncomfortable issues and unusual social phenomenon. And some things are better left to God.

Bruce Reimer (pictured) was born in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada on August 22, 1963. He was a healthy male with no remarkable features except that he was an identical twin. His brother Brian was also a normal, healthy baby boy.

When the boys were 7 months old, their parents decided to have them circumcised. In an unthinkable medical disaster, Bruce’s penis was mutilated by the slip of a heated needle.  The damage was irreversible and his parents were told that he would never have sexual relations as an adult. In agony, his parents decided that the best course of action was that the boy should undergo a sex-change operation. Fifteen months, later, doctors castrated him and fashioned a vagina from the skin.  His parents changed his name to Brenda and began to treat Bruce as if he were a girl. Doctors injected Brenda with female hormones.

While Brenda wore girl’s clothes and played with dolls, her brother Brian was a typical little boy. They seemed to have adjusted well to the challenges and were developing normally as brother and sister. It as not until the children reached upper grades in elementary school that trouble began. At that point, Brenda began to insist on playing sports with boys, playing with guns and acting like her brother. Other children in school called her “cavewoman” because she walked and talked like a boy. She insisted on urinating while standing. She got into fights. The experiment began to unravel.

At age 14, Brenda suffered from depression and anxiety and began to contemplate suicide. Her parents felt obligated to inform her of the medical mistake and their resulting decision to perform the operation. This seemed to bring some relief to Brenda. At last, life began to make sense. Brenda made the decision to take testosterone shots and later, had surgery where doctors partially reconstructed a penis. Brenda changed her name to David.  At age 25, he married a woman and adopted her children. In 2004, David’s depression got the best of him and he committed suicide. A strange and tragic life came to end.

Again, there isn’t much of a spiritual point here. It just seems that there are some mistakes that people simply cannot repair.  Think on that for a while.