Thoughts on Life and Leading

I asked a good friend and great leader, Greg DuBose of The Bella Group, a question last week. It kind of stumped him at first, which has to be a new experience for him.  After a bit of contemplation, He gave a great answer.

Now I’m asking you – so here goes:

What do you learn the most from: failure or success?

After you answer, I’ll let you in on what Greg said.  By the way, let’s not have a one word answer. Give a little explanation – some dialogue would be good.

So, how ‘bout it? Which is it for you – failure or success?

There is a phrase in baseball: The “sweet spot” on the bat refers to the specific place near the end of the bat where optimum potential energy is stored. On the ball, there is a place know as the sweet spot, in between the coming together of the seams – it is where most autographs are placed. The sweet spot is where you will gain the most response and reaction to contact when the bat and ball collide.  There is a distinct “crack” that results and the ball travels farther, because the batter has made a solid connection at the perfect point of both the bat and the ball.  The ball really flies when you hit it with the sweet part of the bat.

For me, the sweet spot of leadership is when a leader displays a perfect balance between passion and wisdom. Fall too far on one side or the other, and leadership will be impaired. Typically, young leaders have lots of passion but not as much wisdom and they pay for it. And older leaders lack passion but make up for it with more wisdom – they too, pay the price. Somewhere in the middle is where leaders find their sweet spot.

So when does the sweet spot come along?

I am not sure about a specific age or an amount of time spent leading but I do believe that we can go right through our sweet spot of leadership without even recognizing it or taking advantage of it.

I can certainly be considered as a middle aged leader, having been at this for a while now. But I still have a lot of passion – even to the point of it getting me into trouble from time to time. I hope that I am heading into my sweet spot of leadership. I think it may be just ahead for me. I think I need to add some more wisdom without losing my passion. I’m working hard on it!

I sure hope that, once I find my sweet spot, it stays for a while. I want to make solid contact. I want to hear the crack of the bat. I want to watch the ball fly. I want to hit a home run.

I’m not sure when I’m going to get there but once I do, I want to get as much done as I possibly can. I don’t want to miss my sweet spot.

Don’t miss your sweet spot.

This is our intro video for tomorrow’s message at Cross Community Church, part 2 of Trees. The theme is comebacks, how God can take our hopeless situations and, with just one touch, turn them around. I hope you can come and bring a friend.  Find locations and times by clicking here.

 

http://vimeo.com/21179352

I spoke with a young leader today who is going through an especially challenging time right now. Seems to me as though most leaders are under the gun these days.  I thought this may be a good time to try to encourage my fellow leaders. I hope it helps. Think about these 4 things:

• Passion is a non-negotiable. Many followers, especially lethargic ones, don’t understand passion. They mistake our drive and intensity for pushiness. While I know leaders can sometimes be overbearing, passion is an inner fire that burns for the accomplishment of a goal. We want to complete the mission and nothing can satisfy us until that happens. The fact that the vision is out in front of us keeps real leaders passionate. Know that some people won’t like that and may even criticize you for it. Our passion makes them uncomfortable. But if we lose our passion, we will fail. So leaders; don’t let anyone condemn your passion. It’s a gift from God – let it burn bright.

• Naysayers are everywhere. When you are out in front leading, people will line up to tell you everything you are doing wrong. The world is full of critics. But most of those people won’t lift a finger to actually help you accomplish the mission. Don’t be discouraged. They did the same thing to all the great leaders of the Bible. Think about Moses. His followers hated him. Just today, Toby Morgan Tweeted: “sometimes God asks leaders to lead in a way that makes the whole congregation grumble. //see Moses.” They literally wanted to kill him (so watch your back!).  And all he had done was to obey God and try to lead them to the Promised Land. Learn how to allow your critics to say and do whatever they want, but you stay focused on the vision. Don’t let them distract you.

• Leaders are change agents. Every great leader in the Bible brought transformation. We will need to do the same. Now, we know that people hate change. They want to stay in their little comfort zones (although they are actually very uncomfortable). But it is our responsibility to lead people to change. It doesn’t matter if your followers like you, God did not call you to get people to like you. So, go ahead and find out what God wants you to change and gently begin the process.

• God called you to lead, people didn’t. You can never please people. But you can please God.  When it all comes down, the people who love you will love you and people who hate you will hate you. You have to be OK with that. But we will stand before God to give an account of our obedience to Him. He called you to be a leader. He is with you every step of the way. Be concerned about what He thinks and not so concerned about what people think.

It has always been tough to be a leader. But I believe the cost is going up exponentially. I admire anyone who has the backbone to step up and lead in this culture. The weight is going to get heavy – but you’re going to make it. Be strong. Do the right thing. Be radically obedient to God’s call. You may get kicked around now but later on, you’ll hear “well done” (from God).

Leaders, I’m praying for you today! Be encouraged!

Give 5 quick minutes to this message…

Some problems are our fault – the results of poor choices.

Some problems are just a part of being human. These things happen to everyone on some level or another.

And some problems are a “gift” from God, provided by Him so that we can make needed adjustments and advancements in our character.

I believe that we can grow through each of these types of problems. Here’s how:

Embrace the problem. No matter how hard we fight, we cannot be problem-free. Learn to accept the inevitability of difficulties. Now, maybe if your problem is self-inflicted, you can learn a lesson and avoid making the same mistake in the future, thereby avoiding a resulting difficulty. But the expectation that our lives will be devoid of problems is immature thinking. Without becoming a pessimist, learn to expect challenges in life. You can’t reach the mountaintop without a difficult climb!

Ask the right questions. The typical first question most people ask when faced with a problem is, “why?” “Why is this happening to me?” I think a better question is, “what?” “What is God telling me?” “What do I need to learn?” “What benefit is there to be derived from this situation that will make me a better and stronger person?” “What will I think about this experience, once it is over?” Asking the right questions at the right time will result in more wisdom gained though experiencing the problem. Make it a goal to learn as much as possible through every problem you experience.

Look for someone else to benefit. As much as we’d like to think it is, it’s not all about us. Many of the struggles I experience are, directly or indirectly, an opportunity to assist someone else. The lesson that I learn, the information I pick up, or the strength that I gain most certainly can make a positive difference in the life of someone near me. If I go through problems staying focused only on myself, two things happen: I increase my self-centeredness and the needs of others go unmet.  The next time you’ve run head-on into a big problem, look around – not to see if someone is watching – but rather to see who you can help.

We’ll never be problem-free. So we might as well get good at dealing with problems. And just maybe, how we deal with problems will be part of the criterion that God uses to reward us once our lives are over. In the end, I want to hear God say to me, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”  Not, “Well, you’re done!”

Tomorrow is a very important day at Cross Community Church. I am beginning a new preaching series called “Trees”. The name sounds kind of innocuous, but don’t be fooled. God has given me a very direct Word. We are going to deal, head-on, with some very touchy topics. While I don’t want to give too much away, I am showing you the video I shot today that will be used as part of the message. Watching it now may not make much sense to you, but maybe it will create some intrigue about what will be said.

If you can’t be at one of our worship events tomorrow, check out the message online on Sunday afternoon.

Take a look at the video and let me know what you think.

http://vimeo.com/20962036

I’ve had a Twitter account for a couple of years now. It is pretty active – I usually post something a couple of times every day. It is a good format for me because it doesn’t take long.  I can read good things from some people I admire and I can engage with them in brief conversations. I can also post s few of the thoughts I have on various topics.

I took a look through some recent postings over the last few weeks and thought I’d also share them here. Again, there is no connection between most of the stuff I say, henceforth, the randomness.

We can’t prevent natural disasters. We can prevent moral and ethical disasters. They are equally as devastating.

Why do some wives and husbands express so much love for each other on facebook? Don’t they ever talk face to face?

Religious freedom may not seem like a big deal to you. Ask the people in the Middle East if it would be a big deal to them.

Go – Be Strong – Rescue

“You have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in You.” Augustine (Confessions)

Do the right thing, the right way, for the right reason long enough, and the right result will come.

in the end…God wins!

Happy 100th anniversary of International Womens Day!

Some days you’re the stick, some days you’re the piñata.

Sheen: “Not held hostage by AA anymore”.

Reading the OT law, before grace. If I’d been alive then, they would’ve had many reasons to stone me. Thk God for grace!

Charlie Sheen is only doing what millions of others would do if they had the money.

Church is like the dentist for some. Other than their annual check up, they’ll only go when they’re in pain.

The shrimp in my instant Noodle Bowl are the size of tiny worms. Hey, wait a second…

If you’re in full time ministry, apprx. how many hours per week do you work? DM me if you want to keep it private. Thx!

Met a pastor of a 206 y/o church that has never done missions work outside the US. How is that even possible?

Just met with a guy who, as a kid, was abused by a religious leader. Too many have been. One is too many.

“He (God) ensures that orphans and widows receive justice.” Deuteronomy 10:18 (NLT) Let’s join Him in that!

I just officiated the funeral of a person I’ve never met. It’s sad for anyone to die without a church family.

Me to God: “I want to be on the mountain top!” God to me: “You’d better get in shape. It’s gonna be a long, hard climb!”

If we are not careful, worship will become more about us than it is about Him.

Off to lead people into a worship experience. A great privilege!

If “it” (your passion) is going to get done, you’re going to have to do it.

When helping orphans, you need not worry about enabling them or them developing an entitlement mentality.

Heard someone say, “when I get rich, I’ll give to the church.” If you’re not giving now, you won’t then.

If we add enough value to people’s lives, we won’t have to beg them to listen to us.

One word of defamation can destroy 1000 words of affirmation. Choose your words carefully.

We may not like it but, where humans are involved, problems are unavoidable.

If you’re on Twitter, feel free to follow: http://twitter.com/#!/rickwhitter

I am amazed by something I came across on cnn.com. The CNN Freedom Project is an effort to expose us to the massive problem of modern-day slavery. I won’t say much but I urge you to take a look at what they are saying.

Absolutely astounding!

Today is my dad’s 86^th birthday. Born March 8, 1925! Man, he’s old. Without being morose, I wonder how many more he has in him. He has been ill for many years, suffered a heart attack at 54 and fights various problems.  He tough, though.  My brothers and I joke that he’ll probably be there to bury all of us.

Happy birthday to one of the strongest men I’ve ever known. I love you, dad.

This is a brief outline of the message I gave at Ridge Community Church on Sunday. Maybe you’ll find it helpful.

Godly Leaders

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” John Quincy Adams

Parents, teachers, pastors, mentors, coaches, spouses… we are all called to lead.

Godly leadership is God’s idea:

The plan that God chose?

God’s plan is for men and women to step up, serve as examples, influence, lead other people into the place where they need to be.

The process that God chose?:

2 Timothy 2:2 And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. (NIV)

The responsibility that God gives leaders?:

Take people from where they are to where God wants them to be.

This is God’s vision for His people – to get them where He wants them.

Theodore M. Hesburgh “The very essence of leadership is that you have to have vision. You can’t blow an uncertain trumpet.”

Key text:

Psalms 78:70-72

70 He chose David his servant

and took him from the sheep pens;

71 from tending the sheep he brought him

to be the shepherd of his people Jacob,

of Israel his inheritance.

72 And David shepherded them with integrity of heart;

with skillful hands he led them.  (NIV)

King David is a great example of a Godly leader.

1. GODly Leaders (emphasis on the GOD part)

It is not the fact that they are leaders that makes them great – it is the fact that God has called them.

Godly leaders are:

Selected by God “He chose David” A divine appointment. Not a democracy. Not a “good ole boy” system.  (Daniel 2:21“He sets up kings and deposes them.”)

Godly leaders are:

Developed by God “took him from the sheep pen”. God sees, not where we are but where we can be. Potential is a key word!

Not what we currently are but what we can become!

Sometimes the development process is not easy.

We see from David’s life that the process of development was life-long.

Godly leaders are:

Appointed by God: “from tending sheep to the shepherd of Israel”

Quite a promotion!

And the two may seem completely disconnected.

But they are related – many times God’s people acted just like a bunch of sheep. (present company excluded!)

Sheep are not always the smartest creatures (they have been known to wander away and fall off of cliffs!)

Sheep are not very strong – there is a wolf that would love to enjoy a lamb or tow for dinner.

Sheep sometimes don’t smell the best – (enough said)

And some sheep bite- and they have sharp teeth!

Do we see the connection?

Godly leaders are:

Gifted by God: 2 elements: integrity of heart and skillful hands. We can’t think of two more important gifts to be displayed by leaders: integrity and ability.

I want to follow a leader who is authentic.  (no time for phony leaders!)

And I want to follow a leader who is good at what he or she does!

2. Godly leaders are human

(various men of God as examples)

Godly leaders are:

Called but not always the likely choice:

David (man looks at the outward appearance, God on the heart. A man after the heart of God.)

Called but not always ready:

Jeremiah “I am only a child” “Don’t say I’m only a child – go to the people I am sending you to!

Called but not always willing:

Moses in Exodus 3: please choose someone else!

(one of the most attractive leadership qualities is humility s long as it doesn’t result in disobedience)

These examples explain where the system breaks down for most people;

They never get beyond the “I’m not qualified” or “Pick someone else” syndrome.

And the result? We lack leaders.

This explains to condition of our culture: Our culture is in such a mess because we lack the right kind of leadership.

A leadership allegory:

Judges 9:7-15

8 One day the trees went out to anoint a king for themselves. They said to the olive tree, ‘Be our king.’

9 “But the olive tree answered, ‘Should I give up my oil, by which both gods and men are honored, to hold sway over the trees?’

10 “Next, the trees said to the fig tree, ‘Come and be our king.’

11 “But the fig tree replied, ‘Should I give up my fruit, so good and sweet, to hold sway over the trees?’

12 “Then the trees said to the vine, ‘Come and be our king.’

13 “But the vine answered, ‘Should I give up my wine, which cheers both gods and men, to hold sway over the trees?’

14 “Finally all the trees said to the thornbush, ‘Come and be our king.’

15 “The thornbush said to the trees, ‘If you really want to anoint me king over you, come and take refuge in my shade; but if not, then let fire come out of the thornbush and consume the cedars of Lebanon!’  (NIV)

The essence of this allegory is, when God-called people refuse to lead, someone will rise to leadership- whether or not they are God-called.

Modern examples in this week’s news:

Moammar Gadhafi

Charlie Sheen

Good men and women have, too many times, said no to leadership calling.

Our culture is being lead by thornbush kings! Those who have their own self-interest at heart!

If God is calling you to influence, to lead, in any capacity, obey!

In the end, God wins!

If God is calling you into leadership, my advice: “your arms are too short to box with God!”

For those who comply – God works in them and through them.

3. Characteristics of Godly leaders:

(Jesus as our example)

Godly leaders are compassionate: Matt 9:36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. (NIV)

(it is the compassion that drives you even when you are tired)

Godly leaders are Servants: son of man came not to be served but to serve, lay down his life as a ransom for many

Godly leaders are Courageous: “let this cup pass from me, but nevertheless, not my will …”

Godly leaders are wounded: by His stripes we are healed.

Godly leaders will be tested: (Paul) one of the most sobering verse for leaders:

Galatians 6:17 “Finally, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.” (NIV)

He carried the scars of his leadership.

Scars can make you trustworthy, give you credibility.

I won’t want to follow a man into battle if he has never been in battle.

If there was ever a time when our world needed godly leadership it is now.

The truth is there are lots of leaders, just the wrong kind.

For everyone who is called to leadership:

Don’t check out – you are ALL called into leadership in one way or another.

And you are all CURRENTLY LEADING SOMETHING.

Men, lead the home, your wife, your children, your job.

Parents, lead your kids, be examples, influence them for God.

All of you: Lead yourself well. Lead your family. Lead your church. Lead your community. The world becomes a better place.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” (Edmund Burke)

But a special note about your spiritual leaders:

Hebrews 13:17 “Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.”

I don’t often get asked to visit another church for the purposes of preaching (except by the people from our church!).   But tomorrow is different. I have been invited by the leaders of Ridge Community Church to speak at their Pastor Appreciation Day!  I am quite excited about it. Here’s why:

• I know and love their pastor, Steve Thompson. Steve and I went to school together. I have admired him for years. He and Teresa and Letha and I are close. They are the real deal – I find it easy to honor them.

• Ridge Community conducts one service, beginning at 10:00. I am accustomed to preaching 3 times every Sunday morning, with the first service at 8:00. This will feel like a mini-vacation. I will, however, pour as much of myself into the one message that I generally put into 3. (Hope I don’t preach for 1 ½ hours!)

• Our church is in good hands. Richard, our Missional Pastor, is preaching at Cross Community tomorrow. He is an excellent speaker and I know his topic for tomorrow. It will be great!

• There is not as much pressure. One of the nice things about being a guest speaker is, people are more tolerant of you.  If I say something that the people do not like, I don’t expect any emails, phone calls or nasty anonymous letters.  And I really hope that no one will leave the church because of something I do or say tomorrow. Each week, I live with this reality. It doesn’t happen very often but it does happen. This Sunday, if they don’t like me, all they have to do is be patient – I’ll be gone in a few hours!

• It is affirming to be asked. It feels nice to be trusted enough to be asked to preach. I don’t take that for granted. I am honored.

Say a prayer for me and Letha, for Steve and Teresa Thompson and for Ridge Community Church. I think it’s going to be a lovely day.

“Who, me? I’ve got nothing of value to share.”

That is sometimes our response when someone asks us for help or advice. When we see someone struggling in an area of life that may be familiar to us, we sometimes distance ourselves, don’t want to get involved, don’t want to engage the person.

The cause behind this could be humility, or more directly stated, false humility. I have personally experienced this. I have had people ask me to share some wisdom and I have refused. I acted as though I had nothing to speak into their situation. It may have been because I thought I was too busy or I just didn’t want to take the time. But I admit, there were times that it was because I was playing the humble card.

False humility makes us think that there is nothing that we can do or share to help other people. Our deception may not be intentional – we may not have set out to fool the other person into thinking that we are useless. “False” in this case may better be described as misdirected. A lack of confidence may be the underlying cause.

I see false humility as an expression of arrogance. When we withhold ourselves from someone that we may be able to help, we are basically saying that we, or our hang-ups, are way more important than they are. We can’t get over ourselves, whether it is insecurity or lack of confidence, long enough to see that we actually can make a different for someone else. This is self-centered and prideful.

I don’t plan to run around acting like a sage who possesses all knowledge. But if a friend asks me for some advice or wisdom, and I have it, I hope I am humble enough to help.

Yesterday, I engaged in a long conversation with a friend and colleague. We didn’t discuss anything new. In fact, this was a conversation that we’ve had many times in the past.  Since we are team members, we talked about some of the challenges we are facing in our work and kicked around a dozen or so ideas that may prove to be solutions. The thing is, there were no new ideas…but we kept the dialogue going.  He will tell you, along with anyone who knows me well; I get tired of the same old discussions. I don’t like repeating myself and I am not especially fond of others doing so. It usually feels so counter-productive. But sometimes there is no other way to work your way through an issue.

After a couple of hours, I think we had a break though. No new revelations, just some determination to attempt some things.  And that’s the value of conversation. You learn, grow, explore.

Don’t get bored with the same script. There may be something new that God is saying to you. Maybe it’s not new, but maybe you haven’t yet heard the old clear enough.

We’ll keep on talking.

The Internet is all abuzz in the Christian world today over what one leader has recently done. Rob Bell is releasing a new book which apparently states that no one is going to hell. Rob is a very well known and influential pastor and author. His Nooma video series has been very popular. I guess his opinion is that if God is as good as we think He is, there is no way that He would send anyone to hell.

Different voice, same old argument.

I have no desire to jump on a bandwagon and bash Rob. I completely disagree with his opinion but that is not the point of this post.

I wish we could get beyond our need for fodder. Fodder is “coarse food for livestock, composed of entire plants, including leaves, stalks, and grain, of such forages as corn and sorghum.” (dictionary.com) We like it when someone says or does something that we can chew on, talk about and banter back and forth on. About ¾ of the people I follow on Twitter are talking today about Rob Bell.

I say, let the man believe what he wants to believe. Know what the Bible says, believe it and stand up for it. Rest assured, he is being called out by those to whom he is accountable. That should be enough for us.

But let’s find something better to talk about than the latest departure from the faith.

The Bible tells us two things:

These things will happen. (II Timothy 4:3)

And we are all vulnerable to failure. (I Corinthians 10:12)

I think we should pray for Rob, speak the truth and love each other. That’s enough to keep me busy for the time being.

Life may be getting you down today. You may be tired and run down from hard work or stress. You may feel weak right now.

I have good news – there is a source of strength that is available to you right now:

The Joy of the Lord!

We have access to His joy whenever and wherever we need it. At our lowest and weakest point, He comes to provide the strength we need to not only survive, but thrive!

This whole idea comes from one great verse in the Bible:

Nehemiah 8:10b “Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” (NLT)

So let me encourage you – or much better yet – let God encourage you. Allow the joy that comes from Him to fill your life. No matter what is happening around you, His joy is bigger.

Enjoy it!

I was really stoked to hear my friend Rob Kirk teach on Biblical leadership principles on Sunday evening. Among the 50 or so great things he said was something like this: “Lots of leaders surround themselves with people who are good at things that the leader is not good at. While this is normal, it sometimes results in a lack of growth and development on the part of the leader. If other people are doing the stuff we are not good at, we never learn to be good at those things.” That is not a direct quote, he was way more articulate than that – but you get the idea.

Rob agrees that we should spend the bulk of our time operating within our gifts but he thinks we miss out on some very important growth processes if we never engage our weaknesses.

So it looks like I had better start thinking about and working on some things that I am not good at, things that just maybe I have been ignoring. Maybe there is some room for growth for me.

Where to begin… let’s see… things that I am not good at…

Math

Science

Foreign languages

Patience

Forgiveness

Gentleness

Delayed gratification

Liking disloyal people

Overcoming my insecurities

Anger management

Controlling my tongue

Thinking positively

and so on…

Looks like I’m going to be busy for a while.

I’ve been complaining more than normal recently, looking for some indicators that we are accomplishing something in our work in ministry. Specifically, I’ve been looking for life-change in some kind of a measurable sense. I have been concerned about the lack of apparent fruit-bearing that we are experiencing.

In the last few days, I have gotten an ear and eye full:

One young couple has been impassioned by a recent missions trip. They are burning with a desire to do more.

One guy stepped up and did a phenomenal job in fulfilling a responsibility at church that, honestly, I was wondering if anyone would do.

Another guy shared with me some specific and sizable changes that he and his family are experiencing regarding their commitment to God, and he credits the ministry of the church for the progress.

One guy told me on Sunday that, less than 24 hours after he and I prayed together for work for him, he received a brand new contract.

I also had younger guy remind me that whether or not we can see and measure the results of ministry, if we are faithful in the process of the work (plowing, planting, fertilizing or harvesting), we would be participants in the fruit-bearing.

This is the life-change, the evidence I’ve been jonesin’ for. Thanks, God!

Any other stories you want to add to help stop my whining?

Sometimes I don’t know how to pray. There are times that I try, but I run out of adequate words. Sometimes, I don’t even know what I should be praying for.

That’s when my secret language can kick in. My language is based on a Bible verse that says, “…when we don’t know what to pray for, the Spirit prays for us in ways that cannot be put into words. ²⁷All of our thoughts are known to God. He can understand what is in the mind of the Spirit, as the Spirit prays for God’s people.” (Romans 8:26b-27 CEV)

That’s right – I’m a tongue-talker. I don’t run around all the time speaking in an unknown language but often I pray in a language that I don’t understand. It’s kind of a secret language between me and God.

So, how can I know what I am saying to God if I don’t understand the words? That’s kind of the point. I may not understand it but God does. And the prayer is much more effective than when I use my words because my words are so limited in scope. God’s language knows no limits.

I’m thankful for my secret language.