Tag: pastors

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For Pastors of Smaller Churches

Pastor, if your congregation is not as large as you wish, allow me a moment. I assume godly ambition on your part. You would like to see your congregation grow because you care about lost people and you want to reach as many as possible. Desiring a larger church to build your ego or to make yourself appear more “successful” is a serious mistake. But praying and working toward a growing church with the right motivation is vitally important. In fact, if you don’t want your church to increase in size and influence, you may want to revisit the Great Commission in Matthew 28:19-20.    

If you wish your congregation was larger, just a few reminders. 

  • Honor and respect the people who are already there. Good shepherds do not overlook their current flock while trying to increase it. In fact, disrespecting your flock is the best way to see it reduce in size.  
  • Healthy churches grow. While there are no failproof methods for growing a church, building healthy disciples will result in more disciples. Disciples make disciples. So, focus on health rather than growth.
  • Avoid the comparison game. No 2 churches are alike. It is not fair to measure your flock alongside someone else’s flock. You be faithful where you are called to be, God will bring the increase.
  • Growth takes time. I caution against rapid increase. That which is built in a day can be destroyed in a day. Be patient. 
  • You can’t increase the size of your church until you increase your spiritual health. God will only entrust His people to a Pastor who can lead them well. Lead yourself well – you will lead the flock well – and God will send you more. 
  • A church without a loving pastor will never increase. Love the troublemakers. Love the high maintenance. Love the special needs folks. Love those who never contribute. If you are faithful in loving those who are hard to love, God will bring you those who are easy to love. 
  • Don’t be afraid of losing people. Some folks just don’t belong. Others jump ship every year or 2. And some are being called by God to do ministry in other places. While you can’t ignore the pain of people leaving, focusing on keeping them from leaving will cause more to leave. Focus on the spiritual development of those who stay. 
  • Don’t underestimate the impact of your ministry. The chairs may be half empty. Visitors may be rare. But you have no idea how deep your influence is. Only heaven will reveal this. 
  • Pastor your community, not just your church. If you wish to increase the size of your church, those outside the church must know you. Be sure to be out among the unchurched people. Your relationship with them is one of your most effective tools for growth.
  • Foster your godly ambition. It is so easy to get caught in the trap of the “same ole same ole.” Years of inertia creates stagnation. Never settle for less than life-changing, community impacting ministry. Too many Pastors give up on the dream before it is realized; don’t get caught in this trap.
  • Don’t fall for the “greener grass” syndrome. A larger church may not be the best thing for you. Moving to a new church may not satisfy you. Continually looking past your current place of ministry, dreaming about the next, is ministerial suicide. Staying at a church and leading it’s growth is incredibly rewarding!     
  • Finally, remember the source of growth. Paul said, “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase.”  Your job is not to grow the church; in fact, you cannot grow the church. Your job is to lead the creation of a healthy spiritual environment so that people can grow spiritually. The Lord will build His church! 

Hang in there, Pastor. Keep dreaming big dreams. Develop your godly ambition. Stay faithful to His call regardless of delays and disruptions. But remember, Jesus is the Good Shepherd, you and I are merely under-shepherds. And what an honor that is, regardless of the number of folks we reach.   

Here is another article on a the same topic from a few years ago: https://rickwhitter.com/2024/07/03/pastors-of-smaller-churches/

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Flannelgraph Memories

I grew up in a church age when our Sunday School teachers utilized the most recent multimedia tools available. For the youngins among us, flannelgraph was a primitive teaching tool, with a piece of flannel material stretched over a frame, and a paper likeness of Biblical characters was attached on the board to help in telling the story.  I remember sweet Sister Gregory and Sister English passionately telling the Gospel stories using these rudimentary teaching tools. 

But I had some confusion back then. The background picture seldom, if ever, changed. One week the scene was the Garden of Gethsemane and the next Sunday it was Mount Sinai – but they looked exactly alike! One week, the guy in the blue robe was Peter, the next week, he was Paul. The bald guy may be Matthew one week and Isaiah the next (I assumed the bald guy should be Elisha!)  Our teachers explained that these people had died and were now in heaven. So, I deduced that, when one of our elderly saints in the church died, they would show up on the flannelgraph board next week. Sister Lane and Brother George never showed up on the board – which made me wonder if they made it to heaven! Then, one of the mean boys in class (not me!) drew a Hitler mustache on one of the characters, maybe Joseph or maybe John. I was mortified at the sacrilege! Finally, after years of use and some abuse, the flannel began to weaken, and the characters could no longer remain attached on the board – they would fall off at the most inopportune times. And the boys, me included, would laugh. 

It was archaic and old fashioned. But it worked! Those stories came alive, not because of the flannelgraph, but because our faithful teachers were passionate about them, and because they loved the students.     

Thankfully our kids and teachers have more effective learning tools these days. But it’s not the tools that deserve the credit – it is the faithful servant leaders who minister each week to our children. Thank you; you are heroes of the faith!

I’ll never underestimate the importance of these foundational experiences in my faith formation! The visual elements were crude but they got the job done. Those teachers invested in me. I’m forever indebted to them and to the church for providing the best that they had.  

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Shepherd or Hireling?

Church leaders are one or the other. The Scriptures are clear, the sheep belong to the Good Shepherd, Jesus. Those who serve churches are simply undershepherds. As such, we will give account to the Lord as to how we served His flock. 

So, what is a hireling? “A labourer employed on hire for a limited time. His wages were paid as soon as his work was over.” (Easton’s Bible Dictionary) 

“In the New Testament the word “hireling” (misthotos) occurs only in John 10:12, where his neglect of the sheep is contrasted unfavorably with the care and courage of the shepherd who owns the sheep, who leads them to pasture and lays down his life for their protection from danger and death.” (International Standard Bible Encyclopedia)

I have witnessed the behaviors and characteristics of both shepherds and hirelings, and have developed this simple summary: 

Pastors love the flock; hirelings love attention.

Pastors serve the flock; hirelings use the flock for their own selfish gain.

Pastors pray for the flock; hirelings prey upon the flock.

Pastors promote the flock; hirelings promote themselves. 

Pastors sacrifice for the flock; hirelings steal from the flock. 

Pastors build up the flock; hirelings build their brand. 

Pastors invest themselves into the flock; hirelings use the flock for the own benefit.

Pastors defend the flock; hirelings demand of the flock. 

Pastors are thankful for their flock; hirelings take advantage of the flock.

Pastors protect the flock; hirelings manipulate the flock. 

John 10:11-12 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. 12 But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them.

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When People Don’t Want Solutions

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who had a problem, a worry or an offense? Of course you have. And have you offered potential solutions to that person, only to have them ignore or refuse to consider the proposed solution? Of course you have. And when that happens, you know you can’t help this person. In fact, you realize that this person is not interested in answers, they only want the problem. 

Several weeks ago, a leader-friend of mine shared how one of our colleagues had hurt him. I asked if he had addressed the problem with our colleague – he had not. And he expressed no interest in doing so. This conversation has been repeated many times with many associates. It is a common event.

In many cases, especially if we’re dealing with a supposed “mature” individual, these hurting people prefer to hold on to their hurt. They don’t want answers, they want an excuse to be offended or to worry. If they actually solved the problem, their ability to complain would be hindered. If they solved the problem, they would then be expected to produce results. As it stands, they have a “reason” to be stuck. Their hurt becomes their license to be bitter.

Try to help people, all the people you can. But when you come across a person who refuses to be helped, it may be best to move on to someone else until that individual really wants help. But when they’re ready, then be willing to jump back in to offer the help you have!

Lesson: Be teachable. Stay coachable. Be solutions oriented rather than problem oriented.   

Related post: Pastor, You Can’t Fix Everybody: https://rickwhitter.com/2016/05/13/pastor-you-cant-fix-everybody/

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Pastors of Smaller Churches

Small is relative. My idea of a small ice cream cone is 3 dips. No one knows for sure what constitutes a small church. Compared to churches in Indonesia and Latin America, the mega churches of the United States are small. But most of us are aware of when our churches are truly small. Remember, small isn’t bad and large isn’t necessarily good.

I have dear friends who serve diligently in congregations under 25, under 50. I often hear or read discussion about how the small churches are forgotten and their pastors are overlooked. Unfortunately, people, even Christian leaders tend to look at numbers when gauging value. This is wrong and the Lord is not pleased.  But let’s consider a few thoughts:

Not everyone looks down on small church pastors. Of course, it only takes a few times of being disrespected for us to become defensive. It doesn’t feel good to be looked down upon. Let’s try to remember that most good people respect us, not because of the size of our congregations, but because of God’s calling on our lives. Don’t let the few disrespectful people impact your attitude or self-worth.

Don’t be guilty of overreacting or becoming overly defensive. Webster defines the Napoleon Complex as: “a domineering or aggressive attitude perceived as a form of overcompensation for being physically small or short.” Let’s not give the impression that we feel less of ourselves because our ministry is not large. If God has called you to a church, hold your head up! He sees value and worth in that church, and they deserve your best. And how God must trust you to place such a lovely flock under your skilled care!

Don’t be guilty of disrespecting pastors of larger churches; they are not your enemy. It is just as wrong to be critical of a church because it is large as it is visa versa. 

God judges by faithfulness, not size. While He expects us to steward (and multiply) what He’s given us, God will not judge our success on numbers. He judges success on faithfulness; praise the Lord! 

Popularity in the eyes of people is not what matters. Small church pastors may not receive notoriety. They may be overlooked for opportunities, simply because of the visual created by a smaller church. What matters is – God sees. If we are overlooked, let it be by people, rather than God! Besides, promotion comes from the Lord, to seek advancements apart from the Lord’s favor is a painful mistake. 

I do believe that all churches should grow. Our passion for souls and the Mission of reaching the world for Christ requires that we add people to the church.  But we must never value a ministry because of its size alone.

Finally, don’t become bitter. Don’t give jealousy room in your spirit. Don’t allow your view of life to be clouded because of the opinions of others. Sarcasm and cynicism are tools of the enemy. Stay sweet in your spirit, regardless of the size of your ministry. 

Know who you are in Christ, know what He has called you to do, and, regardless of numbers, do this with all your might. That, my friends, is true success! 

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You Owe What You’ve Been Given

Most would agree, if we have any true success in ministry, it’s all the Lord’s, He receives the glory. But if He gives you success, does He expect more from you?

Yes, He does!

If the Lord helped you to build your church from 0 to 50 people, you have an obligation to teach others how to do so. If He enabled you to grow a church from 50 to 100, or 100-500, there are pastors just waiting for the information you possess. If God allowed you to be a successful evangelist, missionary, church planter or administrator, you owe it to the kingdom of God to teach others the ability that God has given you.

Some may say that they are too humble to tell others how they did it. They don’t want to be guilty of arrogance and hubris. It’s not arrogant to share the good news, it’s selfish to not share the good news.

Others may say they don’t know anyone who will listen to them. I say, find someone who is currently where you were before God allowed your progress – and offer to buy them coffee. Relationship will open the door for influence.

Still others are waiting for permission to share. They lack the pedigree or title or platform.

You don’t need permission to help others; your possession of knowledge requires you to help others!

This is the way God established it to work. He blesses us so we can bless others, He expects us to share. “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” (Luke 12:48 NLT) We need those who have been blessed by God to show others how to be blessed.

This is Biblical church growth, this is Kingdom growth. Think about it.

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10 Observations about Pastors

  • Pastors want to be respected. Regardless of the size of the church or the budget, each man and woman desires to be treated with dignity. And they deserve it.
  • Pastors want to know that they are making a difference. In the Movement, in the community and in the local church, they want to be assured that their work matters and is efficacious.
  • Pastors want to be part of something bigger than themselves. They are not small thinking or selfish; they enjoy investing outside of themselves and their local churches.
  • Pastors really do care about their flocks and they want to be the best shepherds they can possibly be. They are compassionate, servant leaders. 
  • Pastors are eager to secure new resources and gain new insights. Self-improvement and life-long learning is widely accepted and practiced.
  • The vast majority of pastors want their churches to grow; they want to see more people won to the Lord and they want to make more disciples. 
  • Most pastors are very concerned about the future of the ministry and they want to prepare the next generation of Pastors and leaders. Some are concerned because this is not happening on a large enough scale.
  • Most pastors have similar needs and desires: more committed people, additional resources (funds, time, volunteers), and more ministry progress.
  • The vast majority of Pastors work hard to give their very best to the Lord and His Church, and take joy in doing so. 
  • Most (but not enough) Pastors prioritize their families as their first ministry. 

I am basing my observations on this: 

Over the last nearly 12 years, I have preached around 450 messages in around 400 churches. I’ve ministered primarily in 3 states but have also preached in around 12 others. I have preached mostly in Church of God churches but also in a few outside of our movement. I have met many Pastors, spent time in fellowship with them and their families, have visited in many homes and have developed close friendships with many. I humbly believe that I am in touch with the local Church and can speak to the state of many Pastors. I am grateful to serve as a Pastor to Pastors. 

These local church Pastors are the unsung heroes of the Church.

Though the challenges of ministry are significant, and although there is immense pressure on today’s church leaders, they don’t want or need sympathy; they desire prayer support.

God sees and will reward faithfulness on the part of Pastors.

We love you, Pastor! 

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New Life for an Old Church

Churches, like people, age. Growing older isn’t a bad thing, (it beats the alternative!), but churches that age without adding new attenders won’t continue to grow old, they will die. All over America, churches are closing their doors because no one is attending anymore; the old attenders passed away and no one replaced them.

We don’t want our churches to die! So, what can we do?

Let’s bring New Life to Old Churches!   

A “new” Pastor. I am not a proponent of automatically bringing in a new pastor when the church stops growing, although sometimes that is needed. But it’s better for the current Pastor to become, “new.” New vision, new passion, a new burden for the community…all these are characteristics of a Pastor that can lead new life for the church. 

In other words, new life for the church begins with new life for the Pastor. 

Pastor, if you desire a fresh wind to blow over the church you serve, start reviving yourself. You may be tired, you could be burned out, but as long as you’re the leader, God has spiritual refreshing for you. 

New Leaders: Once again, it may not be a bad idea to recruit a new crop of local church leaders. But much preferred is when the old leaders get revived! If the leaders follow the example of their Pastor, they will enjoy times of spiritual refreshing and a return to their passion for the Lord. This passion must be more than a desire to do things the way they used to be done. This fervency must be for the presence of the Lord, compassion for the lost and a desire to reach the community. This passion must overpower our tendency to prefer the old ways. 

“New” leaders will bring new life to an old church.    

A new Vision. Slogans aren’t enough. A fresh coat of paint and planting new shrubs may be helpful, but this is not new vision. God has a fresh vision, a new dream for each season of the church. This is not to say that what God did in the church in the past was bad, but He hasn’t run out of fresh ideas. What innovative ideas, what creative new approaches may the Spirit be inspiring? What is God saying to the church about new ways to reach the people of the community? Here is a hint: find a need and meet it! 

A new Pastor and new leaders will dream new dreams about a new church. 

New Changes! This is the part that is hard for those who love the old church. The new church won’t look like the old church. The people who are drawn to a new church won’t necessarily look like those who’ve been around for years. There will be new families with new babies and new needs will arise. Old nurseries will be brought back to life. Old Youth Rooms will need to be renovated. Empty activity calendars will fill up. And old worship services will be revived with new people, new worship styles and new results. New members, new training, new volunteers, new ministries, new energy and new excitement! 

An old church will become new when the old church attenders embrace the joy and beauty of newness in their church. They won’t refuse to adapt, they will lead the charge! 

A new Pastor and new leaders and new vision and new changes will result in a new church! And the results will be new names written in God’s book! (Revelation 21:27)   

Let’s bring New Life to our old churches! 

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10 Suggestions for Confronting Sin in Others

The following is based somewhat on Scripture, somewhat on personal experience and somewhat on common sense.  

When you think a fellow Christian is in sin and you want to address it:

  1. Check your heart and motivations. Is your desire to rescue someone who is straying, or is there an ulterior motive? 
  2. Purify yourself. Unless you are without sin, your confrontation will be hypocritical.
  3. Do it now. If you indeed believe someone is in sin, delay could be dangerous.
  4. Keep confrontation small, do it in person. Don’t involve uninvolved people. Engage as few people as necessary; this allows greater opportunity for restoration. 
  5. Be gentle. God is the ultimate Judge; harshness is a weapon only He may wield. 
  6. Stay humble. Remember that you are also flesh and prone to failure. 
  7. Assume misunderstanding. Give the benefit of the doubt that imperfect communication has misrepresented the issue. 
  8. Seek to heal. Judgement is not the goal, repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation and restoration is the goal. 
  9. Offer mercy. Treat others better than they deserve. 
  10. Offer grace. Don’t treat others as they deserve.

These are simple ideas on how to do something we must be good at, whether we are on the receiving end or giving end. If we are not effective at this, the entire Church will suffer.

Supporting Scriptures:

Galatians 6:1-2 “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”

Luke 17:3 “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.”

James 5:19-20 “My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.”

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The Coliseum of Social Media

But the lions are in the stands.

I’m afraid we’ve entered the age of a virtual coliseum where barbaric, human-spirit shredding is the preferred entertainment. The paragraph below provides a brief description of how depraved and cruel people were in Vespasian’s day. I believe they had nothing on our culture!  

“The Roman Colosseum Arena was a stage of combat for the gladiators and occasionally staged mock naval battles. Its 80,000 seat stadium inspired the gladiators, who were mostly slaves, criminals, or prisoners of war, to fight for their freedom. The horrors of the blood-thirsty crowd of thousands cheering on the gladiators’ fight for their lives leaves it to our imagination what entertainment meant to the ancient Romans.” (https://www.headout.com/blog/rome-colosseum-arena/)

One of the hottest tickets at the Roman coliseum was when Christians were mercilessly fed to hungry lions. They were savagely martyred as “fans” watched, ate their popcorn and jeered the bloody Christians.  

Today, bloodthirsty and merciless spectators are provided front row seats in the arena of social media to chant, humiliate, dehumanize and destroy those with whom they disagree. They have an opinion about everything. They pretend they can outperform everyone, regardless of their lack of actual usefulness. But they are so much more than spectators, they are virtual lions, digitally tearing people to shreds. 

This is how today’s coliseum differs from ancient Rome: the lions are not on the arena floor doing battle, the lions are spewing their hateful wickedness from the cheap seats. They are not engaged in the battle, they are too cowardly to risk their lives. So, they cruelly butcher those brave enough to actually fight. They sit on their mother’s couch, hiding behind their keyboard, and talk trash, fearless of repercussions.  

I personally know individuals who are in the very public arena, trying to perform their craft in a professional manner, who have drawn the ire of the crowds. These crowds won’t simply share their disdain for the lack of performance with family or friends, they take to the only place where they can say anything they want to say without consequence: social media. The cruelty is unimaginable in a civilized world. I personally believe we left that world behind a few years ago.  

If you are a productive member of society and become the target of these vulgar barbarians, take heart, you are not alone. Let’s not expect the lions to let up. They won’t have any mercy. They will take great delight in trying to destroy you. But they can’t make you quit unless you allow them.  

Stay in the fight, ignore the social media lions.

By the way, I am not currently a victim of these social media trolls, but I have dear friends and colleagues who are. To them I say, stay focused. Do your job. Let the lions roar. Perhaps they’ll soon become so intoxicated on flesh and blood that they pass out. 

History will prove that you were a warrior and they were nothing more than a roaring but cowardly lion. 

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Emotional Health and Ministry Success

A Case Study in Emotional Health in Ministry

A Pastor is leading a vibrant and growing congregation. Things are on track for good growth. As the excitement builds, tension arises in the congregation and conflict of some type is inevitable. The pastor feels unable to manage the tension and conflict. Discouragement sets in. He/she responds to the pressure over-defensively or with an emotional outburst or by withdrawing from relationships, or by resigning… These responses on the part of the pastor reveals a personal emotional issue. We hesitate to identify this issue as a weakness or dysfunction or compromise, but many times, it is. 

I am more convinced than ever that the success of a minister is immeasurably impacted by their emotional health. We’ve seen very gifted and hardworking women and men who should be experiencing significant ministry productivity but suffer from an inability to deal with the stress and pressure that such a ministry includes. We all know that pressure and stress cannot be eliminated from ministry; we must simply learn how to deal with it. 

How emotional health dictates ministry success:

The more individuals involved in a ministry, the more likely the stress. Contrary to the opinions of a few, the larger the church the more difficult it is to lead. People, even church people are messy. A leader must be adept at dealing with imperfect people, the larger the ministry, the bigger the messes become! Some Pastors enter the ministry expecting to deal with kind, sweet and well-functioning folks. Then they conduct their first church service – LOL!

Too many church leaders are not emotionally strong enough to handle disappointment. The inevitable letdowns get them down. When folks leave the church, the Pastor gets depressed. When the money is tight, anxiety takes over. When the pressure gets too great, the pastor transfers, resigns, retires or gives up on ministry. However, some stay in place but (knowingly or unknowingly) reduce the stress level of the ministry by reducing the number of people in the ministry. They literally run people off. (A few folks need to be run off, but that’s a different story). There are countless churches that are being held back numerically by leaders who, due to their emotional struggles, can only lead a limited number of people. Ouch! This is not necessarily an issue of sin or lack of talent or laziness; this is an issue of emotional health. 

So, what should we do?

  • Recognize reality, don’t live in denial. If your daily or weekly routine includes discouragement, anxiety and/or depression, please don’t negate the impact. You, your family and your church are all suffering. Remember, “strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.” (Zechariah 13:7). If your current ministry role is crushing you emotionally, get help before it’s too late.     
  • We must pray for emotional healing and strength. God can and will heal our weakness and build us up to increase our emotional capacities. 
  • Remove the stigma. While I don’t recommend you make your emotional issues public, realize that many good Christians in our day are also hurting. There is no shame in that.   
  • We can seek medical attention. God also works through doctors and medication. It is not wrong to receive medical treatment, while it may be wrong to limit the impact of a ministry because of our refusal to seek help. But don’t self-medicate! Whether chemicals or relationships or therapeutic binges – all can be destructive.   
  • Secure Christian counseling. The scriptures tell us to seek out godly counsel. Rather than being considered an act of weakness, getting help is a sign of strength. 
  • Understand that you may be hindering your future. How we deal with stress today is an indication of how prepared we are for the future. God loves us too much to promote us to the point of destruction. If we desire an increase and it never comes, perhaps God is protecting us from something that may destroy us. Let’s take charge of our emotional health! 
  • Know your limitations. This is very important! Many of us have a desire to impact more people but we have trouble managing the ones we currently lead! Don’t set yourself up for failure. If a church of 50 is an unbearable emotional and mental weight, a church of 100 may crush you. Rather than asking God to give us more of what we’re already struggling with, let’s stay where we are until we can get healthier emotionally. 

A word about prevention:

Take care of yourself emotionally! This includes the priority of family, a healthy diet, sufficient sleep, an exercise routine, time off (regular day off, vacations, sabbaticals), and significant spiritual disciplines. Learn to relax. Laugh and enjoy friendships inside and outside of the church. Get a healthy hobby. Learn to read your emotions and when you feel overloaded, take a breather. When you find you are weak in a particular area, recruit help. Those who refuse to take care of themselves emotionally are ticking time bombs, waiting for implosion.

Finally

Let’s grasp the connection between our emotional selves and our spiritual selves. While the two are not interchangeable, they are certainly related. One can be very close to God but suffer emotionally. But the healthier one is spiritually, the healthier they will be emotionally. Get as close to the Lord as you can. 

Pastor, take care of yourself. “Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might!” (Ephesians 6:10). Your family needs you emotionally strong. Your church needs you healthy and vibrant. The Lord wants you to be whole.    

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A Changing Church

When discussing topics like this, I always state up front that there are some things about ministry and church that must never change. The sacred things such as our doctrine which is based upon the unchanging Word of God is untouchable. But the things which have been added to ministry which aren’t necessarily sacred are subject to change. 

This change comes very hard for some folks. Author and speaker Tod Bolsinger explains that change is difficult because people are afraid of loss. Change in church means a change in traditions, customs, and things about which we feel nostalgic. When music, décor, facilities, and furniture styles change, people grieve the loss. They remember how things were in the past, good times and fond memories. When people grow up in the church, it can be akin to grandma’s house –  the sight and sounds and smell create a sense of comfort and familiarity. Leaders of change must understand that resistance to change really isn’t a matter of people being obstinate, it is more a matter of grieving loss. 

Consider this. In the Old Testament book of Ezra, when the new temple was ready for use: “…many of the priests and Levites and chief of the fathers who were elderly men who had seen the first house, when the foundation of this house was laid before their eyes, wept with a loud voice; and many shouted aloud for joy.” While some rejoiced, others cried. These elders were crying, not because they didn’t like the new temple, but because they had lost the old temple. Change is hard for those who value the past. But change is embraced by those who value the future.   

I’ve recently been reminded that much of the way we “do church” is relatively new. By that I mean, very few of our worship methods and customs are ancient. Our style of music is relatively new, as compared to the ancientness of Scripture. Even most of the good old songs aren’t very old if compared to the Bible. In our tradition, most of our “old time” music is less than 100 years old. 

If you are a church member or leader and you find yourself grieving the loss of treasured things, it may help if you recall:

  • Change is inevitable. Years ago, people introduced new concepts and practices that we now consider as staples. At one time, someone introduced new songs (now honored hymns), new church buildings (now old and worn out), and new approaches to ministry (now old fashioned traditions). There has always been change, and that will never change. 
  • Change is necessary in order to reach new people. People who have not been in the church for years have no idea why we do some things the way we do them. To us, it is familiar. To them, it is foreign. There are only a few Christian folks who are brazen enough to say that they do not want to reach new people. Unfortunately, there are many who want to reach the lost, but only if it requires no change on their part.    
  • The changes and loss we are grieving aren’t eternal. Pews aren’t supernatural, they are just furniture. Painting over an old baptistery mural isn’t sacrilege. A Pastor preaching in a suit is a relatively new concept. Less than 100 years ago, this was unheard of in many circles. Keep this perspective in mind: the things that really matter last forever, everything else is temporary. 
  • Bolsinger reminds us that the root word for “familiar” and “family” are the same. We resist change of familiar things because we feel like we are losing family. But hear this: traditions are not family. People are family, furniture and schedules and decorations are not. Let’s not try to make temporary things eternal. 

If the experts know what they are talking about, we ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Traditional buildings are going away. Technology will play an even bigger role in ministry. Things that we accept as vital to today’s church may, “go the way of all the earth” (die). But the Church and ministry will continue on, perhaps in a different form, until the day of Jesus Christ.   

Once again, we should never entertain changing anything that is eternal. But if adjusting our approach to church increases our chance of reaching a lost world, who among us would say we are against it?

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Leader, Not Too Much Emotion

Depending upon which therapist you consult, there are 7 or 8 basic human emotions. The lists may include anger, fear, pain, joy, passion, love, shame, and guilt. Connected to each of these is a myriad of other feelings/emotions. We know that God created us as emotional beings and that God Himself exhibits emotion. But I contend that emotions, uncontrolled or in excess, can be the downfall of a leader, especially a spiritual leader. 

Think about it. Most leaders are passionate people. They live and feel deeply. The reason they lead is that they care very much about people, causes, and projects; they care enough to invest themselves. Add to this, leaders are placed under intense pressure and as a result may experience high levels of a variety of emotions. In times of victory, we may be over the top with joy. Dealing with an especially frustrating issue may push us to be angry. But leaders can’t be under the control of these emotions; on the contrary, leaders must keep a firm grip on their emotions.  

We know that we should avoid making decisions when overly emotional. Emotions have a way of dominating sound reasoning. It’s not wise to choose a path based upon our feelings, because our feelings change. 

Even when (especially when) we are doing the work of the Lord, let’s not allow our emotions to go unbridled. When it comes to matters of morality, spirituality and eternity, the stakes are extremely high, and our emotions can run just as high. However, overly emotional leaders can be a danger to themselves and to others. When appropriate, be sad, but deep discouragement is not an option. When faced with injustice, be righteously indignant but not wildly enraged. It’s ok to be passionate but not to the extreme of losing control. 

Leader, if your emotions are hurting your marriage or family, it’s time to adjust. If your outbursts cause people to avoid you, look out. If you can’t sleep at night because of your emotions, God has something better. 

Paul exhorts us in 2 Corinthians 10:5. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Go ahead and be the passionate leader God called you to be. But it’s time to take our emotions captive, and make them submit to Jesus. Harness them, control them, utilize them to make you a better leader and person. 

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Perpetual Pain for Pastors

Without a doubt, serving as a Pastor at a local church is one of the greatest privileges a person can be given on this earth: 

  • God trusts us with His people. 
  • People look to us for spiritual direction. 
  • We only work one day a week.  (you gotta’ at least smile!)

But too many Pastors are in pain. For some, the pain never eases up. This could be due to the depth of the hurt experienced or the perpetrator of the pain being a once-trusted friend. Sometimes it’s the culmination of many years of ministry pressure. Listen, God does not want us living and leading this way! There are, however, some of us who have refused to let go of the pain. We wear it like a medal of honor; it’s a war-wound and we are glad to put it on display. 

Without judging anyone, I have some observations to share. 

Pastor, you may have unresolved hurt/offense if:

You are cynical. If you roll your eyes at enthusiasm, if you scoff at hope, if you are skeptical of solutions – you are most likely hurting deeply. Cynicism isn’t a good look on spiritual leaders.

Your first inclination is to doubt. If you can’t see the light for the darkness, you may be in emotional turmoil. If you’ve been wounded long-term, it’s natural to begin to expect the worse. But faith leaders can’t lead people into hope if they have none themselves.   

You keep talking about past hurts. The church member who lied about you. The Deacon who falsely accused you. The Bishop who mistreated you. No doubt, these events can be devastating. But reliving them over and again does not bring healing. If you struggle with past hurts, take it to the Lord in prayer, and perhaps consider seeing a counselor. If you don’t, the bitterness can become corrosive and it can destroy you.

You enjoy conflict. None of us can avoid conflict, and I am not a proponent of running away. But if you revel in the fight, if you take great pride in strife, you may need some healing. 

You don’t trust your leader. We’ve all been misled by someone. Anyone with a few months experience has been letdown by someone over them. But mistrusting your current leader based upon what a former leader has done is unfair. Think about it: do you want your church members to assume that you are the same as their former pastor(s)? 

You must correct everyone. Does it drive you crazy to see wrong theories posted online? Do you correct grammar? Do you feel it is your job to point out flaws? If this is the case, there is a chance that you are dealing with unresolved pain. 

You can’t wait to quit. If you daydream about the day you can leave your church or the ministry, you are sidetracked. With this escape mindset, you can’t lead effectively. We all hope to retire someday, or at least slow down, but longing to quit reveals a damaged spirit.  

I could go on. But Pastor, hear my heart. I am not attacking you or criticizing you. I only wish to help you heal.

If you are in perpetual pain, reach out. There are trained, professional Christian counselors available to you, some at no charge. There are people who care. If you have absolutely no one to walk you through these types of issues, perhaps your approach needs to be adjusted. We were never meant to lead in isolation. 

Read through the passages below. Pray. Talk to a friend. You are too important to live with this level of pain. 

Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed, perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.”

Psalm 46:1-2 “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.”

Psalm 71:20 “Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.”

Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give it to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.”

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 55:22 “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.”

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How Blackberry Picking is Like Ministry

This Summer, wild blackberries are everywhere! We see lots of friends across the Midwest who have been picking berries and enjoying the resulting cobblers. Well, I have done my share of picking, too. I find it relaxing and fulfilling to bring home these delectable treats. I blame my underprivileged upbringing (I can’t pass up free food), but in actuality, I find the blackberry jam that Letha makes to be the best I’ve ever eaten.  

As is usually the case with preachers, we find a lesson in everything. I will use blackberry picking as a metaphor for ministry. Here goes:

The berries represent the fruit of our labors – people, growth, progress, goals, etc. 

The bushes equal the world and communities in which we live, where we find the fruit of ministry.

The thorns, mosquitoes, heat, and poison ivy are metaphors for the obstacles and discouraging distractions we find in ministry.The jelly, cobbler, blackberry dumplins’ and berry crumbles are an analogy for the goal of ministry: souls for the Kingdom of Christ!

Here are some observations:

  • You can’t pick berries without getting stuck by thorns. I have scratches all over my hands and arms and I have to pick out the splinters. The only way to avoid getting stuck is to not pick berries. The analogy is pretty obvious: if you do ministry, you will get scars. 
  • The more berries I pick, the better I get at it. I’ve learned where the best blackberry bushes are. I now recognize ripe, sweet berries. I’ve become much more efficient. I’ve improved my skills. Experience is an excellent teacher. The longer we do ministry the better at it we are supposed to become. 
  • Some berries look good but are not. Some are past ripe or infested by bugs. Once you take hold of a bad berry, you know it – it squishes in your fingers. The ministry application is, some folks look good on the outside– but they are rotten on the inside. 
  • Some of the best berries are the most elusive. You spot a big juicy one, as large as a walnut, but it’s deep in a thorny bush or in the middle of chigger weeds. Is it worth going after? You bet it is! That’s the way it is with some ministry goals, isn’t it?
  • I’ve dropped a lot of nice berries. Once they fall among the bushes, they are gone. In church work, we can’t possibly keep all the fruit we harvest; we feel terrible about it but, unfortunately, we lose some. 
  • Sometimes berries grow in groups and come ripe at the same time. I have harvested as many as 7 berries in one grab. Family groups or entire neighborhoods are available to be won by our churches, if we have the wisdom to recognize how. Let’s observe and take advantage of those opened doors.  
  • Picking the berries is only the beginning. If we don’t do something with those berries, they will waste – we can’t possibly eat that many fresh berries. Cleaning, picking out sticks and bugs, freezing or canning, baking or cooking… much of the work is accomplished after the harvest. The comparison is obvious: win people to the Lord and His church – and then the real work begins!
  • Berry picking takes time. I have a demanding job so I have to make time to go out picking. It would be easier just to sit on the couch and then buy berries from the store, but, in my opinion, there is no comparison between packaged berries and wild, organic berries. In ministry, we must prioritize the spiritual harvest. The demands of life make it easy to justify our inactivity and ignore the harvest. But there is no greater reward than winning folks to Jesus and making disciples.
  • Berry picking season is soon coming to a close. As the summer days get shorter, the production will slow down. I have to pick while I can; if I wait, I will miss the season. You don’t need me to make the correlation, do you? 
  • Finally, we are freezing most of the berries I pick. This is because Letha is doing most of the work of making jam and baked goodies, and she also lives a busy life. (Lesson – we can’t enjoy the fruit of the harvest without the contributions of the good people around us). But we will enjoy these berries all year. I can’t wait for a hot blackberry crisp once the weather turns cold. Ministry lesson: work now, reap the benefits for eternity!

Thanks for indulging me this little folksy parallel. I hope you find it beneficial.    

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I’m Concerned

I’m concerned about people not going back to church because of CoVid-19. Certainly, some elderly and infirmed rightfully remain at home during this crisis. But way too many people who can and should be in church services aren’t.

Here is why this concerns me:

  • You can’t easily make up lost ground. Our spiritual health is inextricably connected to our involvement in the local church. When one steps aside from church for a period of time, we should expect spiritual health to be hindered and perhaps halted. And when they come back to church, the gaps may remain. While the church continues to move forward, these individuals atrophy; and then they feel disconnected.  
  • Our lack of participation harms others. Our unique gifts and talents are necessary parts of our local church body. Using the physical body analogy, if one of our organs stops functioning, more than just that organ is impacted; the entire body suffers! So it is with our part in the Church. 
  • We are creatures of habit. If we stay out of church long enough, staying out will become the norm. For some Christians, church attendance is no longer even a consideration. 
  • Children may suffer the most. Consider this: for a five year-old, CoVid-19 has impacted 20% of their life. And because of their youth, they may not be able to remember life before CoVid! If the family of this child chooses to stop attending church, this child may have no recollection of actually attending church. The child is robbed of the rich experience of church involvement. 
  • People are increasingly defensive. I hardly see a mention by pastors encouraging people to attend church without pushback. I’ve seen good, compassionate pastors be accused of guilt-tripping and condemning those who choose to stay home. In many cases, overly defensive people know they are guilty and don’t like to be reminded. 
  • Churches are suffering. Because some stay home, don’t give, have stopped serving and have disconnected from their church family, many churches are having a hard time surviving. Some experts predict a 20% loss of churches in America. Some who would like to return to church may have no church available to them in the future. 

I understand that we can worship at home. Church attendance is not a requirement to be a Christian. But if we become accustomed to staying at home to the point that we lose interest in the house of God, we are in serious danger.

I am concerned. Please, unless your health is jeopardized, return to church!    

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8 Things I Learned about the Church in 2020

None of us are sad to see 2020 become history. For the rest of our lives we will recall with great emotion the experiences of this year. As painful as it has been, we’ve learned some things. In fact, there are things that we’ve learned that could only be learned in a pandemic.  

As a Church leader, I’ve observed some changes, adjustments and new information as they regard ministry and church work. I’ve taken the time to create a list of 8 things about the Church that I am taking away from 2020: 


1. The church doesn’t need as many trinkets as we thought. Things once thought indispensable apparently are optional. Things like nice lighting and sophisticated sound equipment and lovely facilities aren’t as important at the end of the year as they were in the beginning. We’ve spent a lot of resources obtaining various ministry tools that are fairly useless right now. This doesn’t mean that these things have no value now or won’t have in the future; but how our priorities change when crisis breaks out! While it’s painful, I believe the refocusing in ministry priorities that has taken place is a good thing. Only the truly necessary ministry elements will survive 2020. 

2. Some who refuse to change, change under pressure. As a group, we are not known for our flexibility and innovation. Tradition and even a refusal to adjust has been a hallmark for many of our churches. But this pandemic has forced some to adapt. Pastors are preaching on the internet now who wouldn’t have been caught dead doing so just a year ago. Worship styles have, of necessity, been adjusted. “The way we’ve always done it” doesn’t fly any more. The pandemic has hurt us deeply but we have grown, evolved and, therefore, maintained our effectiveness through a willingness to flex and adjust. I think we are better because of it. 

3. Some who appeared to be dedicated, weren’t. CoVid-19 has shaken the Church – at least many of the church members. The number of people in our buildings has been drastically reduced. Some have legitimate reasons for not participating. But some have simply dropped out of church. As is usually the case, pressure squeezes out what is inside of people. Some have dug in deep to commitment and others have quit. 2020 has proven to be a shifting for the church.

4. While a shutdown can happen overnight, a comeback might take a long time. In fact, our comeback is a very long process. We should be prepared to spend most of 2021 rebuilding, refocusing, and restructuring. Those without the maturity to navigate the rebuilding process will fail. Only those who are patient and cautious will succeed in the complete recovery. 2020 has taught us patience.   

5. Pastors are stronger than we thought. While we know of too many leaders who have been destroyed during this pandemic (one is too many), the vast majority of ministry leaders are carrying on. They keep battling, keep growing, keep leading. Even when weary under the heavy criticism some have faced, they persevere. I think this says a lot about the character of these women and men. 2020 didn’t defeat us!  

6. Some people are more committed to their ideologies than they are their friends (and their church). Unfortunately, some unnecessary battle lines have been drawn and people have been divided. It’s one thing if doctrinal conflict separates colleagues, but it’s a sad day when people are more loyal to their unproven theories than they are their relationships. 2020 taught us that some relationships won’t last. 


7. We’re more vulnerable than we thought. While it’s good to have confidence, church leaders must never be presumptuous. Things we thought were secure turned out to be fluid. It’s a humbling thing to realize our need for God’s grace; and we need that kind of humility. If 2020 taught us anything, it’s that we can do nothing without the Lord.   

8. We’re more resilient than we thought. Unless we quit, we will not be defeated! We will come back and, regardless of what it looks like, the Church will be stronger than ever. While we may measure success differently, God has promised us that we will overcome.

The lessons of 2020 will remain with us. Though it’s been painful – and life-altering, we will be better off, stronger and more effective if we will embrace the lessons.  

God help us in 2021, Blessed New Year!

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My Official COVID-19 Positon

design-61I am a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. That is my calling, that is my passion. With that calling comes a definite responsibility to fulfill the calling. I preach the Gospel. I teach the Bible. I help others spiritually. I serve the Church as a pastor and a leader. While this calling and role affords me a variety of opportunities, my primary role is as a minister.

As the Corona virus continues to wreak havoc on our world, I think we all examine our responsibility of response. Most of us are on “stay at home” orders or have recently been released. The emotional, financial and relational pressure that has resulted in this unprecedented time is gaining momentum. In my world, the Church is deeply impacted. I must position myself strategically to respond appropriately in order to fulfill my calling.

I am not an attorney. I could have been. One of my best friends who owns his own law firm once suggested I attend law school – he offered me a job. I am not a politician – and never dreamed of being one. I am not a scientist. I just squeaked through Physical Science in college. I am a minister.

We believe in the operation of Spiritual Gifts. According to the Bible, we are all called to serve the Body of Christ as a part of the Body. To me, knowing my part in the Body is vitally important.

During this COVID-19 crisis, I don’t plan to become a doctor. I won’t start law school and I certainly have no plans to enter politics. I am staying in my lane.

I have no doubt that the battle that we are fighting is spiritual, demonic in nature.  The death, suffering, mourning and pain are the work of Satan. The fear, division, anxiety and depression are the results of the work of the devil. Politics, law or science are helpless against the devil. The Holy Spirit is not.

The damage that Covid-19 is doing to the Church is serious. While our numbers are revealing interesting data (some churches are experiencing numerical increase), the emotional and spiritual results are not good. Women and men who are called by God to do the work of ministry are limited by restrictions. Pastors cannot fulfill their role. Parishioners are suffering from a lack of spiritual guidance. Believers are missing the joy of fellowship, the encouragement of corporate worship and the strength of the family gathering.

While I am actively consulting with attorneys, politicians and doctors (in order to form my opinions and actions), I am not bringing a knife to a gun fight. Why would I fight a spiritual battle using weapons with which I am not familiar? Why would I abandon the tried and true for the unproven and unfamiliar?

If I spend my time jumping into politics, who will do my job of spiritual leadership? If I start practicing medicine, I have abandoned my post. If I spend my time in court, who will fulfill my God given responsibilities?

Since this is a spiritual battle, let’s fight it the right way.

II Corinthians 10 3 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 

Ephesians 6 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

If you are an attorney, fight in the courts for the church! If you are a doctor or scientist, help the cause of Christianity in the lab, in the hospitals and in the operating room. If you are a politician, do what is right according to Scripture. I honor all of you, I pray for you and I support you.

But I must do my God-given job as a Minister of the Gospel. I’d have it no other way.

This is my official COVID1-19 positon. I’m not asking for you to agree, adopt my position or respond. I’m simply stating my position.

Grace and peace!

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Healing from Church Hurt

healing from church hurt picI believe that, in many cases, emotional healing is a matter of choice. Please allow me a moment to carefully explain. I do not want to be misunderstood as hard hearted or uninformed about emotional issues; I am neither.

When we are physically sick, we can’t always choose if we are healed. We pray and ask God for healing. Sometimes, it works out as we hoped but at other times, the sickness remains. These types of issues and experiences belong to God; I encourage you to trust Him to do what is best, every time. But, in specific cases, I believe the Holy Spirit offers emotional healing for everyone who is willing to receive it.

There is an ongoing conversation about “church hurt.” It seems that daily, I come across someone who has at some point in their life been hurt by a church, a pastor, a denomination, a church member… In fact, anyone who has ever attended a church can probably share a story or two about an offense that took place, someone who was rude, or a church leader who was mean. Perhaps we should be able to expect better. Of all the places that we can go and expect to be safe, church tops the list. But the problem is, other people also attend those churches. And where there are people, there will be hurt. And these hurts seem to emotionally paralyze many people.

What is unique about this type of emotional pain is it has a way of hanging on and controlling us. People have a hard time letting go. I know many people who frequently speak about emotional pain that was caused by someone in the church – literally 30 years ago. They recall the details. The date of the offense. The specific words or actions used to cause the damage. The emotional pain experienced determines their relationships, church involvement and the health of their faith. It is unlike any other experience in their life. And I believe it is diabolical.

The point of this article is this: if you want to be healed from the emotional pain inflicted on you by an experience at church, it can happen. And if you want it to happen, it probably will.

That is a bold statement! But it is based upon the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Our emotions, our feelings and thoughts are under the control of other elements. Experiences influence us. Life events shape us. While we can’t choose all our experiences, they most certainly impact us for a long time, and how we feel about those experiences dictates our future.

On a side note, the topic is not emotional or mental illness. I am not reducing mental health to a decision by an individual, although I do believe in the power of God to heal us mentally and emotionally.

If we surrender our emotions to the Holy Spirit, (all of our hurt and pain and bad experiences) He can heal them. And – here is the kicker – if we refuse to release our emotional pain to the Lord – we will carry them to our grave. Unfortunately, some wear their pain like a medal. They are proud of their offense and put it on display for all to see. Still others use their emotional hurt as a weapon or an excuse. Because they have been hurt, others will pay.

I really hope you don’t think that I am saying, “just get over it!” I am not. And I am most certainly not saying that the Church is innocent or that the perpetrators of church hurt should not be held accountable. I am saying, if you really want to be healed from the emotional pain caused by the Church, it is readily available. You’ll have to let go of the pain. You’ll need to stop allowing the hurt to control your decisions. No more, “I can’t because….” If this seems like too much, know that the Lord will help you. And He wants you free from the pain of your negative experience.

Regardless of your pain, or the source of it, God is offering you healing right now. Let him heal your broken emotions.