Most leaders in today’s culture are very in tune with the power of popular opinion. If we hope to lead effectively, we must take into consideration what other people think about us, their opinions about how we lead, and their take on the decisions we make. On the flipside, those who, “don’t give a rip” about what others think are not true leaders.
However, there is a bigger issue which strikes many leaders: Fear of the opinions of other people. Every decision is made with this thought: what other people think?
How will they feel about my decision?
Will I be liked?
Will my decision hurt my popularity?
Could my choice damage my image?
While awareness of and healthy respect for the opinions of others is important, FOPO is a trap.
In a new Harvard Business Review article, Michael Gervais coined the acronym which represents Fear Of People’s Opinions. He aptly identifies the problem that accompanies the need for approval. Like a little child seeking to be praised, leaders who must receive approval live and die by the opinions of others.
Gervais says:
I call this anxious state fear of people’s opinions (FOPO). Among the organizations I’ve worked with, FOPO is a hidden epidemic and may be the single greatest constrictor of individual and collective potential. Concern about what others think is an irrational, unproductive, and unhealthy obsession—and a big contributor to the general anxiety people feel at work.
Today’s social media driven world has created an acute exposure to and awareness of the everyday lives of everyone. Leaders in the public square are scrutinized more intensely than any of our predecessors. What’s more, the general public has opinions, very strong opinions, about a leader’s performance, and many folks feel that they could outperform the leader – even though they have zero experience in the field in question. I wrote an article entitled, The Coliseum of Social Media where I state, “Today, bloodthirsty and merciless spectators are provided front row seats in the arena of social media to chant, humiliate, dehumanize and destroy those with whom they disagree. They have an opinion about everything. They pretend they can outperform everyone, regardless of their lack of actual usefulness. But they are so much more than spectators, they are virtual lions, digitally tearing people to shreds.” As brutal as it sounds, it’s not an overstatement as to the impact that the opinions of others can have on everyday leaders.
The real culprit? A performance based identity.
“A performance-based identity means we define ourselves by how well we do something relative to others.” If we judge our worth on numbers, productivity, comparisons and competition with others, we will naturally fear the opinions of the onlookers. “No matter how well we perform by objective measures, our identity must be buttressed by continual external validation and hinges on the praise and opinions of others to fuel it.”
(Michael Gervais)
What a performance inhibiting trap!
Gervais offers a solution to FOPO: Purpose based identity. Rather than basing our self-perception on what others think, we know our value based on our purpose. The question is not, “what do others think of me,” but, “am I fulfilling my God-given purpose in this life?” “Purpose becomes the filter through which we arrive at decisions, establish priorities, and make choices.”
(Michael Gervais)
Many leaders would do themselves a massive favor by looking deeper for fulfillment. It’s not a vote, not a title, not a popularity contest that defines meaning and value. Are you doing what God created you to do, and are you doing it well?
I encourage leaders to pay less attention to the trolls on social media and more attention to the God who created them with a purpose. I encourage those of us who may be guilty of adding pressure to leaders by openly expressing our opinions about their performance or lack thereof. Just stop it.
Let’s eliminate FOPO.
Thoughts on Life and Leading 