Thoughts on Life and Leading

This evening, we will gather to celebrate the life of Jeff Robbins. Would you please say a prayer for strength and comfort for Diann and Danny and for Jeff’s family?

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is the Father who is full of mercy and all comfort.4 He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us.5 We share in the many sufferings of Christ. In the same way, much comfort comes to us through Christ. (NCV)

The Not So Perfect Family Revisited
Part 4: Rebound

Because we are “not so perfect” individuals in “not so perfect” families, we get it wrong sometimes.
We fail.

Divorce happens.
We go broke.
Kids leave home angry.
We lose loved ones.

How do our “not so perfect” families rebound?

In this message, we will discover we can rebound and bounce back from loss and failure.

God allows second chances.
God does not fail us when life fails us.
God does not reject us when we get it wrong the first time.
God does not abandon us when we suffer a loss.

Scriptural focus:
Psalms 46

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah

1. In Trouble

What happens when our not so perfect families go through some not so perfect crises?
When this happens:

God becomes our refuge.
He becomes our strength.
He is our ever-present (He is there!) help when we are in trouble.

In his book, Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire, Pastor Jim Cymbala of the Brooklyn Tabernacle Church tells the story of his not so perfect family and the crisis they experience. His daughter Chrissy became addicted to drugs, she left home, she disappeared, living on the streets of New York and was a prostitute.
Their response?
They retreated into their Refuge, they ran to their source of strength. They called out to their ever-present help.
They called the entire church to a Tuesday night prayer meeting.
A few nights later, she showed up on the doorstep and collapsed into her father’s arms.
From his book: “Daddy—Daddy—I’ve sinned against God. I’ve sinned against myself. I’ve sinned against you and Mommy. Please forgive me.” A few seconds later, Cymbala writes, she pulled back startled and said, “Daddy, who was praying for me? On Tuesday night, who was praying for me?”

We will not fear!

When things fail, how are we not afraid?

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. 5 God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. 6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

2. A change of perspective

God’s perspective as compared to our perspective.
I Corinthians 13: 12 Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. (NLT)

When we read Ps. 46, there is great contrast:
The earth is chaotic; heaven is orderly.
Temporary things are falling apart; eternal things are safe and sound – peaceful!
Life is insecure, vulnerable and endangered;
God is in control!

How do you get His perspective?
Get as close to Him as you possibly can.

7 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah 8 Come and see the works of the LORD, the desolations he has brought on the earth. 9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire.

3. God is with us
Something to remember when our not so perfect families experience a failure:
God is with us.

When your family is going through tough times, God goes through it with you!
Isaiah 43:2-3 When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. 3 For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. NLT)

God is with us!

He is our fortress. Different from a refuge. “A cliff or an inaccessible place”.
There is a very important message for us here:
When God is with us, eventually, peace comes.
Verse 8 of Psalms 46 describes the “Desolation He has brought”? other versions: “the amazing things”, “the glorious things”, “the marvels of God”.
What has He desolated?
War! Our battles.
He breaks the weapons we use against one another,
He shatters the spears our families throw around the house,
He burns our shields we have to use to protect ourselves against one another.

This verse is speaking on the peace-giving, restorative powers of God.

He is the only One who can bring peace to wars we fight.
We need to let Him!
And how do we do that?

10 “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” 11 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. (NIV)

4. Be still
Hey, not so perfect families – take a deep breath.
Sit back, take it easy.
Stop fighting for a minute.
Stop stressing for a while.
Stop wondering and worrying and warring.
Rest.

God wants us to chill, to relax. Chillax!

Be still, know that He is God!
This command — “be still” — forces us to think on two things:
That we are finite, and that God is infinite.

He says that He will be exalted on earth as He is in heaven.

If we are still and we allow Him to do His work…

The last verse of Psalms 46: “The Lord Almighty is with us!”
He is with us!
God is Almighty, He wins.
If He is with us and He wins, guess what, we win also!

Closing thought:
No matter how imperfect our families are, no matter how much we are broken,
We can rebound!
Our not so perfect families can bounce back.
God is giving us another chance, let’s be sure we get it right this time.

Prayer

Jeff Robbins passed away this morning. Jeff was a close friend of mine, He was a leader in our church. He was a husband and a dad and a son. Jeff was only 39. After a very long illness, Jeff went to be with God.

Whether or not you knew him, would you say a prayer for those he left behind? His wife is a wonderful person and she needs lots of support. His little boy is only 5.

God bless you, Jeff. I love you and will see you again. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Thanks for the break, it was nice but the Boss is calling.

I made a quick trip to Tampa today. I was involved in an interesting process that could have been bad but turned out good. Without getting specific, it is good to see the good in people come out. Sometimes we get a little jaded as to the possibilities of redemption. Well, there is hope, good things still happen. I was glad to witness it today.

Goethe said, “In all things it is better to hope than to despair”. I agree.

I will be taking a brief break from posting on this blog. I need a chance to catch up some other things and I need to give the page the time it deserves. I’ll be back!

Jesus said, “This is how you should pray:
“Father, may your name be kept holy.
May your Kingdom come soon.
Give us each day the food we need,
and forgive us our sins,
as we forgive those who sin against us.
And don’t let us yield to temptation.”
Luke 11:2-4 (NLT)

A good friend sent this to me, it is excellent. If we can get permission, we will see this on the stage at Maranatha in the near future. Enjoy!
http://www.tangle.com/flash/swf/flvplayer.swf

Just a quick note about our weekend at the Fusion Forum: This two day conference was designed for younger pastors and I had the privilege of helping to lead the event. Letha and I really enjoyed spending time with these good folks. The sessions I led went pretty well and I received a lot of affirmation from the guys. Maybe more importantly, we made some great connections with friends. This entire event is relationship based and I suppose that it why it is so life-giving for me. I came to church this morning tired but refreshed from my time at the conference.

Kudos to the guys who helped put on the Fusion Forum and to the Church of God State Office for sponsoring the event.

I am getting ready to attend the Fusion Conference in Clearwater, Florida this Friday and Saturday. This a special time designed for young pastors. I know what you are thinking: “who invited you, old man!?” Here’s the thing: I am not a going as just a participant, I am also speaking at a session. So there, that explains it!

Seriously, this is a really a great event that brings life to my work. The idea of sharing with young and energetic leaders ignites something in my heart. My topic on Friday night is “ministry in the new reality“. I plan to share with these guys and gals how the future of ministry is going to be way different than the past. Our definition of “successful ministry” has to be adjusted. We used to think about large buildings with a cross on top, large pastorals staff, and lots of big programs. Because of seismic changes in our culture, that stuff may not work anymore. Instead, we have to take a more organic approach. More ministry has to be done with fewer resources. The ministry has to be accomplished by the average person, not some paid professional. Our economy won’t allow for spending lots of money on facilities. It is time to rethink what ministry looks like. I am pretty excited about the topic and about the opportunity to talk to these leaders. I would appreciate your prayers that it all accomplishes what God desires.

I’ll keep you posted as we get to the weekend.

This is how we know what real love is: Jesus gave his life for us. So we should give our lives for our brothers and sisters.17 Suppose someone has enough to live and sees a brother or sister in need, but does not help. Then God’s love is not living in that person.18 My children, we should love people not only with words and talk, but by our actions and true caring. 19 This is the way we know that we belong to the way of truth. NCV)

A few thoughts on these verses…
Real love defined: self-sacrifice.
God’s love in action in us: giving to those in need.
Words express love; actions express it more effectively.
We know we are right with God when we make His love obvious.

I got pretty excited this week when I learned that U2 was scheduled to come to Tampa in October. I have been a fan for years but all the more so since Bono has been such a vocal proponent of active involvement by the church in addressing the needs of the world. I have heard him say some very provocative and challenging things to Christ-followers. He tells us to speak out on behalf of the marginalized, get involved in the AIDS crisis in Africa, feed a hungry child. Make a difference. Way to go, Bono.

So Letha and I started looking at our schedules and checking on-line for tickets. Pretty quickly, I realized that I would have to settle for iTunes. Ticket prices start at only $30 or so but you have to be willing to sit in the nose bleed section completely BEHIND the band. Move forward, prices go up. Move around the front, they go up more. Plan on getting close enough to actually see the band and, POW!, they sock it to you. Seriously, we saw lots of tickets for over $1,000 per. We starting adding up ticket prices (mid-priced ones), gas to travel over, food and probably one night’s lodging and we were at $500.00 before we knew it. I just can’t do it. No way am I paying $500 to hear a band, no matter who it is.

I hope Bono would approve, I would rather send the cash to someone who needs some food or clean water. I am not criticizing the people who are buying tickets. I am saying that I couldn’t sleep if I spent that kind of money on a concert.

I suppose the height of egomania is to assert that one knows what God is saying. To read and comprehend what He says in His written Word is one thing but to have the ability to, with clarity and confidence, sense what He says to one’s spirit is necessary but a little trickier than we would like to believe.

Does God say what I want to hear?

I know of an individual who currently is at odds with her family. The way this person wins is by being assured that God is on her side. According to her, He totally agrees with her and He has chosen to send special messages through her to the rest of the family about how wrong they are. Kind of tough to argue with God! Here’s the thing: her attitudes and behavior assure everyone that she is not hearing from God and, if she was, He would not be on her side.

It is easy to listen to God as long as He agrees with us. When God operates within the confines of our preconceived ideas, our world is a safe and predictable place. When God’s voice is familiar, when He says the things we expect Him to say, there is order. Even when the things we perceive Him to say are hurtful or negative, we can manage that, because it is what we have come to expect. I believe the problem is, we sometimes put words into God’s mouth.

While trying to go to sleep the other night, I decided to try to just lie still, be quite, not pray, just listen to what God was saying to me. My instant thought was, “He probably has a bunch of things that I could do better on, areas of my life and things that I am doing for Him on which I could improve.” I am wondering why my first thoughts of His message to me were negative. What is it in my emotional chemistry that assumes that God is looking for the chance to increase the pressure I am facing, that He is not satisfied with me, that there is more I can do to make Him happy with me? In this instance, God fell in line with my insecurities and came under the control of the things that have attempted to control me all of my life. Pretty obviously, God does not play that game.

I am glad to tell you that I was soon able to clear my mind of the idea that God was standing over me measuring how high I could jump. Some additional thoughts came to mind. I got an idea for a message or a book or an article. The title of Themes of His Essays came to mind. I began thinking about the major concepts of the things that the Holy Spirit communicates to His people. What is the essence and character of God all about, anyway? This is where the egomania kicks in again, assuming I can capture the essence of God. But recall, God has chosen to reveal Himself to us, He wants us to know His character. He shows His personality to us. We can, in part, understand what He is about. So I began thinking about concepts like: Grace. Love. Mercy. Treasure. Compassion. These are the great themes of God. This is the message that God has been speaking to humankind since creation.

This is not to say that I am doing a great job with the responsibilities that God has given me or that He is giving me a “thumbs-up’ on my performance for Him. He knows, I fall way below the bar for acceptable production in the Kingdom. But I just can’t see God as the One who is laying the burden of “do more, work harder, perform at a higher level” on my back.

I also realize that judgment is part of God’s responsibility. But His primary connection with us is hope. Even conviction of sins has as its goal, forgiveness.

Try just listening. Maybe you’ll hear some things that I didn’t hear. Maybe as I grow, I will also hear some different things. Just maybe one day, I will get a “not bad, kid!” out of Him. That would be progress.

Enjoy this video from the top of Pike’s Peak. The cold weather was a far cry from South Florida in August!
http://www.youtube.com/get_player

We need to be deliberate in our efforts to spend time with God. With our busy schedules, the necessary spiritual-focus times won’t happen unless we strategically place them in our calendar.

Cascade, Colorado proved to be a valuable experience for me as Letha and I enjoyed a vacation there last week. I was able to spend some time hiking and, as usual, when I got alone and away from the noise (not Letha :)), I experienced the closeness of God. Maybe it is just the way I am geared, but time in a natural setting does wonders for my abilities to interact with the Creator.

Mark (5:16) speaks of Jesus’ need to be apart from the crowds and focus on His Father. As often as possible Jesus withdrew to out-of-the-way places for prayer. (MSG) I don’t do this as often and I need to. I live 15 minutes from one of the best places in all the world to clear one’s mind (the beach). But I still find it difficult to find the time to drive over and just sit. The mountains of Colorado reminded me of how important this time in in my life.

How about you? How long has it been since you turned the TV off long enough to clear your head? Would a brisk walk in the park or a drive in country help to clear things up? Wherever you live, there is a place, an out-of-the-way place where God is waiting for some special time with you.

Time off, sleeping in, going out to eat, no schedule. Those are the highlights of vacation time. If you are lucky enough to be able to get away this summer, you probably will be tempted with the idea of relocating to the area you visit.

Letha and I just returned from a week in Colorado. The temperatures were in the low 50’s in the mountain mornings. We visited mountains over 14.000 feet elevation. Pine trees grow huge. It was just about as different from South Florida in Summer as you could imagine. The scenery was breathtaking and we spent every day outside taking hikes and taking in the tourist sites.

I have to admit, more than once, I thought, “It would be so cool to live in a place like this.” But I was then reminded of what the guests who visit us in Florida say, especially those from the mid west: “I want to move to Florida!” It is true, we live in one of the most beautiful places in the world, but I always remind them, “you can’t live on vacation”. The entire purpose of a vacation is to rest and do something different for the purpose of refreshing yourself. You break the old pattern and it feels good. And so naturally, you want to keep doing it.

I guess after a couple of weeks of sleeping in and site-seeing, we would get adjusted to the new place. Real life requires a job and responsibilities. Whether you live in Florida or Colorado or the French Riviera, it is home and may not seem very glamorous. But be thankful for it. I know I am.

Over the past few months we have seen too many people in pain. Some good friends have suffered some pretty severe sicknesses. Along with the obvious concern for these sick people is our compassion for those who love them. We have observed some very concerned family members. It is a tough thing to watch someone you care about suffer. A common statement we have heard is, “I wish I could take their place.”

It is normal to struggle emotionally when a loved one is ill. But I think there are some valuable concepts to learn through these experiences. Among them is the idea that God loves you and your loved one very much. He feels your pain. He is touched with the same discomfort that you are. And He is with you every step of the way.

Another important thing to know is, God feels the same way about you as you feel about your family members. He says, “I will take their place.” That’s why He died on the cross – it was so we could live. He doesn’t like it when His kids suffer. So He did something about it. He eliminated our eternal suffering by giving His life. Now that is an important concept to grasp.

God cares. A lot.

It is getting tougher to be a sports fan these days. The team with the money wins. There is no loyalty. Player swap franchises like we change shoes. The message sent by these organizations is “win or be traded”. Fans get all excited when the club signs a new player. They love the new guy. But they hated him last week when he played for another team in the division and they will hate him again next year when he is playing for their rival.

The idea of Brett Favre playing for the Minnesota Vikings is a complete joke. Having spent eleven years in Minnesota, and knowing how much those fans hate anything Packers, I say the team stood to lose a lot of credibility if they had signed him. He would have dropped Vikings fans like a sack of potatoes as soon as a better offer came along.

My baseball Cardinals recently traded for and signed a bunch of guys from other teams. Everybody is all excited. Team pride, Cardinals Nation, blah, blah… we are paying big dollars to guys who care nothing about us. The moment they get a better offer, they are out of here! Don’t believe for one minute that they are committed to anything other than money. A pretty clear case of prostitution.

Is it any wonder why we, as a nation, struggle with loyalty?

Summer in South Florida is a mixed bag. You take the good with the bad. Below is my list of both…

I love the water, swimming, snorkeling, and the beach in general. Surf fishing is fun. The weather isn’t too bad, even with the humidity. The gulf breezes keep us relatively cool and the afternoon thunder storms calm the heat a bit. The cloud formations are beautiful and the evening sun reflecting on them is awesome. Golf is fun, walks in the morning or the evening are nice. Baseball is always a highlight and outdoor summer festivals are great. Summer life in Florida is fun, and I like it. This is the fun part. This is the part I love.

There is another side of summer…

Lots of people take an extended vacation from church and, in some cases, from God. Some people are out of town on vacation for 2 or 3 weeks but take the entire summer off of church because “it’s summer, you can’t expect me to be there!” Some of these people get eaten up by the cares of life during the summer because they are dislodged from their relationship with other Christ-followers and the church. Some have the mentality that the church can’t do anything of significance; we can’t make any progress because so many people are unplugged this time of year. Sometimes it feels like some families won’t return until October. Sometimes it seems we have to start from scratch in the Fall, we have to get the train moving again, building momentum can be tough. These are the parts of summer that I hate. I can’t stand the idea losing one quarter or even one third of the ministry year.

We will survive, we will make it until Fall. But I am already strategizing about how we can prevent this “inevitable summer slide” next year. The effort required may kill me and I may never succeed, but I will die trying.

One of the causes I am gaining passion for is pure drinking water for people around the world. 1.1 billion people drink contaminated water every day. Every day 5,000 children die from waterborne illness. This is the single greatest threat to children world wide. If you would like to start being a part of the solution, check out what two of my friends are doing:

Bob and Georgette Kornegay with Servants Hearts Ministries.
Fred Garmon with People for Care and Learning.

I have been accused of fixating. Most of the time that I come across a problem, I spend a little too much time wondering how the problem could have been avoided. I usually talk about what should have happened rather that how the problem can now be solved. Some examples: car accidents caused by people who were texting while driving; sunburn from going to the beach without sun block; a hangover from drinking too much. The solutions to these problems, or rather the preventions, are very obvious. Do I fixate on prevention? Guilty as charged.

I wonder what percentage of problems are avoidable. I would not be shocked to learn that a good 75% of our issues wouldn’t be issues if we had made better choices. Most marital problems can be avoided: Choose the right person to marry, practice good communication skills and always respect the other person and many of our relationship problems never arise. Some financial issues can be averted ahead of time: Don’t spend more than you make and bankruptcy is never a consideration. Even some health problems could be headed off if wise decisions are made: Don’t smoke and you live longer.

Now I wonder what percentage of my time is spent dealing with problems that could have been avoided. Do I spend half of my day trying to solve something that never should have happened? Yes, on many days! If fact, a large part of my responsibility is to help people through tough times that they created!

From a life-stewardship point of view, it may be helpful if we think in terms of prevention. How will the decisions I am making today affect my future. What future problems can I avoid by making good choices today? I know it sounds elementary, but you would be surprised how few people process life this way.

I am not minimizing the crises of life. I am saying, God gives us some wisdom, let’s use it. I hope I am not coming across hard-hearted and totally void of mercy. That is not the case. I just think we all would be much happier and could spend our time on more productive things if we would simply think things out a little ahead of time. Then maybe we could all work together on solving some of the world’s problems that are not so avoidable.

OK, I tried to avoid it but I just have to say it, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!” (Ben Franklin)