Thoughts on Life and Leading

At the start of the new year, I am thinking about what I hope for in the lives of the people I help to lead.  I wonder if sometimes they wonder what I hope for. Do they clearly know our goals? Do they ever get frustrated because I never seem satisfied?

I thought this would be a good time for me to share my realistic dreams for the people whom I serve as pastor. If you are part of Cross Community Church or if I, in any way, influence you, here is what I want:

I want you to grow in your relationship with Jesus. I ask you to come to church. Are you surprised that this request tops my list? Here’s why: Those who are present can listen to and experience what God is doing and saying to our church family. If you are not present, you will go a direction that is different from the church. I want you to move forward and to make progress alongside your church. Spiritual growth happens within our hearts but it is motivated by what we expose ourselves to. I want you to commit to coming to church events. While being present does not guarantee spiritual growth, your chances are MUCH greater with us than apart from us.

I want you to connect. We need you and you need us. Isolation is a dreaded assassin of Christ-followers. Disconnection is to blame for much of our loneliness and emptiness. A great place to start the connect process is at church but it needs to continue outside the building. I want you to spend time with others from our church family. I hope you are involved in a Community Group. I hope you know others and are known by others. Please don’t come to church late and sneak out early so as to avoid saying “hi” to someone.  Make friends here. I want you to be connected.

I want you to serve. Please use your gifts and abilities to help others.  Find a need and fill it.  Serve inside or outside the church. Fill a spot and help change a life.

So, if you’re asking me, “what do you want from me?” … it’s not what I want from you that matters. It’s what I want for you.

I don’t ask you to be perfect. I only ask that you grow, connect and serve.

For more info on grow, connect and serve, click here.

Because I am not a fan of getting stoned, I’m not going to identify what I am about to do as  “prophecy”. If you don’t get the reference, they used to stone to death prophets who mis-prophecied. I’m playing it safe.

Here are 5 things we have to look forward to in the next 365 days:

Americans will get all stirred up about the presidential election. Things will get ugly. But we will elect someone to be President. Half of the country will be sad, half glad. And little, if anything, will change.

The economy will recover, but only slightly. The recovery will be election related. Real jobs won’t be created and our country will improve financially, but only on paper.

There will be a major natural disaster. Lives will be lost. News coverage will be thorough; people will be shocked – for a brief period.

Scandals will surface regarding the behavior of well-known people – leaders and celebrities in our country. The general public will be surprised and disappointed.

Terrorism will be an increased problem. The Middle East will be rocked with violence. And chances are America will not be exempt.

Bummer, huh? In case you think I need to take a Xanax, notice the details of what I think will happen in the new year. It is the same stuff that happens most years. Nothing new. Ecclesiastes 1:9 “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.”

Now, let me predict with a little more certainty something much more important and relevant for 2012:

God will be good. He will be faithful. He will bless His people.

That, my friends, you can take to the bank! And if it makes you feel better, consider that a prophecy for 2012!

Our worship is sacred. Our methods of worship are not necessarily sacred.

On Sunday, January 1 at Cross Community Church, we are planning a completely different approach to worship. This is a one-time event and I am praying that it is effective and well-received.

Rather than a group of people sitting in rows of chairs watching people on a stage “do” ministry, we plan to engage people in ministry on an individual level. Picture this: People and families meet at the church building and enjoy elements of worship both individually and corporately. This is our plan for this coming Sunday.

Our Worship Center will be set up with stations all around the room. At one station, we will read Scripture. At another station, we will express our missional hearts by providing school supplies for needy orphans. At still another station, we will view a video message from God’s Word. Imagine music worship on the video screens, a table set up for Holy Communion, a station where one can receive anointing with oil and prayer and a table for tithing and giving. We will also have a time of challenge toward spiritual growth and discipleship development with our Next Steps process.

This describes our Open House Worship event! At our Palm Beach Shores location, this event will take place between 8:00 and 9:00 AM. At our Palm Beach Gardens location, this will take place between 9:30 and 11:30. Worshipers can come and go as they please and stay as long as they like at each station. We are encouraged to enjoy community time with friends in the Welcome Center at any time during the event.

Since we are still developing the concept, I’d love to hear your feedback on additional ideas. This is, as far as we know, an original idea. I’ve never heard of another local church event quite like this. Hopefully it will be successful and lives will change!

Join us for a day of Open House Worship!

Cross Community Church

I don’t want to be a downer – I want Christmas to be the happiest time of year for all of us. But an important part of a genuine celebration of the birth of Jesus is to consider the purpose of His birth. He was born to bring division, He came to redeem humankind. Jesus was born to die.

In Luke 2, the prophet, Simeon spoke words to Mary and Joseph that must have frightened them:

Luke 2:34-35 “Then Simeon blessed them, and he said to Mary, the baby’s mother, “This child is destined to cause many in Israel to fall, but he will be a joy to many others. He has been sent as a sign from God, but many will oppose him. ³⁵ As a result, the deepest thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your very soul.” (NLT) How do you think these parents of an 8 day old Son felt about his words?  Gee thanks, Simeon for your encouragement!

Think that through. Some will love Jesus, others will hate Him. He is the Messiah but many will fight against Him. Mary, Jesus’ mother would suffer much pain because of the way her Son would be treated.

Not exactly the kind of Christmas greeting one would hope for. But it tells the rest of the story. And it explains why so many people today resist the real meaning of Christmas – and Jesus.

Merry (and contemplative) Christmas to you!

When the Denver Broncos lose a football game, and they will soon, the devotion of millions of people will be tested.

Tim Tebow is a phenomenon. He has captured the attention of more fans than any other player in recent history. A big part of his popularity is his public faith in Jesus Christ. But that’s not the only thing rocketing him forward. There are plenty of NFL players who are outspoken about their faith.  He is enjoying great success against great odds. It’s a lot of fun to watch him and his teammates beat very good teams, week after week. The experts are flabbergasted, the cynics are frustrated.

My concern is, as soon as Tim and the Broncos lose, critics will have lots of ammo. And some “fans” will drop him like a hot potato.

So, what’s it gonna be? If you cheer for Tim Tebow now, will you cheer for him once the Patriots or Buffalo or someone else beats them … will you still cheer as loudly? If not, don’t beat yourself up – most people are fair-weather fans.

If he never wins another game in the NFL, Tim has held onto his integrity and faith under immense pressure. For that, I cheer him!

I have cop friends who wear bulletproof vests every day. The vests are made from a tough material called Kevlar. Ordinary bullets can’t penetrate Kevlar. They wear these vests because there are some crazy people out there who do not like police officers and would, given the chance, kill them.

I have some ministry friends who should wear bulletproof vests of a different kind.  They should do this because there are some crazies out there who, given the chance, will destroy them. The bad thing is, many of these crazies are in our churches. They are snipers – they hide out waiting for a chance to take a cheap shot. They lob grenades – “bombs” that blow up everyone in the vicinity. They lay landmines that unsuspecting soldiers step on – and lose limbs and lives. Ministry leaders need vests that preserve their spiritual and emotional well-being. The damage being inflicted is not physical, it is spiritual.

You won’t find spiritual Kevlar on ebay.com.

While it would be easy for me to go the “whole armor of God” (Ephesians 6) direction with this, I have a little different perspective this time. It is important that we know the most effective spiritual protection against the would-be assassins in the church. So what is it that will protect a pastor from the soul-ripping holes that some would wish to inflict on him?

The only thing that I know of that will make ministry leaders impervious to attacks from their foes is the conviction of calling. One must know that they are called by God to do ministry. Without a for-sure knowledge of divine appointment, the next sucker punch may knock you out. But if you know, no question, beyond doubt that God has compelled and required you to serve Him in this ministry capacity, no critic or saboteur can take you out. You take the shots and keep moving forward.

Hey ministry buddy, you’d better strap on your vest. Lots of ammo is flying out there! Don’t let some crazy turn you into just another notch on his belt!

Tomorrow, I am preaching at Cross Community Church about Esther in part 2 of Divine Intervention. She is one of the most awesome heroines of the Bible. Her decision to risk her life saved the lives of an entire nation. No wonder she is highly honored by Jewish people still today.

But I have a love/hate relationship with the story. While I honor the way that God divinely rescued the Jews by utilizing a very brave woman, I hate what she had to go through to be in the place where God could use her in such a powerful way.

The key phrase in the book of Esther is “such a time as this.” It comes from Esther 4:14 when Esther’s cousin, Mordecai challenges her to step up and intercede for her people who were about to be annihilated by King Xerxes and Haman.  “Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?” She was waffling on whether or not she should ask the King to spare her people. There was a very real chance that she would die for even trying. Ultimately, she did the right thing and the King changed his decision.

Mordecai is saying to her (my paraphrase) “God has put you into the perfect position at the perfect time. He did this for a reason. Everything you have been through in your life is in preparation for this moment. Don’t blow it!”

Here is where I struggle with the story and what I do not plan to share while I am preaching tomorrow: Everything Esther had gone through was apparently orchestrated by God. If you know the story, you might be squirming a bit, too.  Basically, Esther became queen because the king had sex with a bunch of young women in one of his harems and he liked Esther the best. (Reminds me of the disgusting TV show The Bachelor!). Because Esther was the most attractive and apparently the most sexually satisfying to the King, he chose her to replace the queen he had just disposed. Think about it. This kind of degradation of women is a little hard to overlook. She had to be intimate with an arrogant, self-centered and most probably disgusting despot in order to save others. Would she say it was worth it? We have no way of knowing but I would assume she would say it was.

This whole story makes me wonder what all God will allow His children to go through in order to get them where He wants them. A little scary to me.  I don’t have the theological answers for this one and I’m not really even looking for them.  But I sure don’t plan to open that can of worms to the good people who will be sitting in the chairs at our church tomorrow.

When you see an injustice – keep your mouth closed.

When surrounded by corruption, ignore it.

Suck up to the rich and powerful.

Let your convictions be determined by popular vote.

Wait to see the direction of the crowd, then follow.

Be a social chameleon.

Listen to gossip.

Turn your head on abuse.

Cave to pressure.

Feed your temptations.

Don’t rock the boat.

Cook the books.

Be greedy.

Don’t get involved.

Cower to bullies.

Put money ahead of people.

True, it would be easier if we just went along with what other people want. It would be better if everybody liked us. But good luck sleeping at night.

This is the right time to speak up for the right thing, the right way.

I sniffed out a great read. Recently, while going through some leadership materials presented by Robert Greenleaf, I noticed his mention of a classic book, The Journey to the East by Hermann Hesse. The book was written in 1954 and apparently is the first literary work featuring the topic of servant leadership.

The book is an allegory about a group (or league) that embarked on an expedition. The hero, only identified as H.H., describes in first-person poetic artistry the wonders of the sights beheld and mysteries encountered. There is much symbolism in the book and honestly, some pretty weird imagery. But I found the book engaging and entertaining.

“Leo” is a key character. He appears as a servant, a kind of Sherpa that aided the group as they traveled. He was an unassuming worker to whom few paid much attention. He provided directions, advice and carried the heavy loads. One day, Leo was no place to be found and it was discovered that he had left the journey. The travelers were dismayed at his lack of loyalty and experienced much confusion and discouragement with their expedition. Eventually, H.H. abandons his secret league and forgets about his commitment to the journey. It is only after years passed by that H.H. discovers the true identity of Leo and the true meaning of the journey.

I don’t want to give any more of the story away. But rest assured, there are extremely valuable lessons for modern readers and leaders to learn in The Journey to the East.

Below are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

“Words do not express thoughts very well; everything immediately becomes a little different, a little distorted, a little foolish.”

“He who travels far will often see things far removed from what he believed was Truth. When he talks about it in the fields at home, He is often accused of lying. For the obdurate people will not believe what they do not see and distinctly feel. Inexperience, I believe, will give little credence to my song.”

“He who wishes to live long must serve, but he who wishes to rule does not live long.” “Then why do so many strive to rule?” “Because they do not understand.”

“Faith is stronger than so-called reality.”

“Free yourself. Throw Leo overboard.”

“…everything else that I have considered good and fine, and for which I have made sacrifices, has only been my egoistic desires.”

“As soon as suffering becomes acute enough, one goes forward.”

“He must grow, I must disappear.”

I found a nice used copy of the book on Amazon for a couple of bucks, maybe you can, too, if you are inclined to do so.

J Simms is one of a kind. Today marks the 20 year point that he and Rebecca joined the staff of our church.  3 Lead Pastors, numerous job titles and countless ministry responsibilities later and he is still going strong. J is as knowledgeable regarding local ministry as anyone I have ever met. He is a wealth of information. He has an unusual gift mix which includes music, creativity and administration. He works as hard as anyone you’ll ever meet – and he works way too many hours every week. He is an excellent Executive Pastor!

J is intensely passionate about our church. This is not a job to him. He lives and fights to see the mission of the church fulfilled. Among my favorite attributes of J’s is his loyalty. He is fiercely loyal to his God, his family and his church. Lots of people have come and gone and this will continue. But J remains a consistent and trustworthy friend, co-laborer and Pastor.

Congratulation, J, Rebecca, Taylor and Jordan. We love you and thank God that you are a part of our family!

I’m pretty excited about the message I plan to bring at Cross Community Church this Sunday. If you are in the area (Palm Beach County, Florida) and do not attend another church, please consider stopping by to worship with us.

Here is an over-simplified explanation of leadership:

1. Determine a goal or destination.

2. Gather others to go with you.

3. Get there.

(The order of #s 1 and 2 may be interchangeable.)

In this age of independent thinking, anti-organizational mentality and mistrust of leadership, these steps are harder to accomplish than they used to be. Leading is a tough business.

So what’s a leader to do when faced with the very real challenges that become tumultuous daily occurrences?

Lead Strong(er)!

Leading stronger is not becoming a bully. It is not talking louder or pushing harder or threatening followers.

Leading stronger is a very delicate balance of finesse and courage. It is a blending of vision and servitude. Strong leadership is part chemistry and part artistry. Specifics depend on the culture of the organization and the prognosis of the issue being faced.

Leading stronger is assessing the validity of the vision. It is vowing to serve those whom you have been appointed to lead. It is committing on a deeper level to those who are being served. Leading stronger means more dedication to the task assigned by God.

Being a strong(er) leader means having the courage to identify the need, it means being decisive regarding direction, being visionary regarding solutions and being resolved regarding overcoming opposition.

The truth is, there are not enough people going the right direction. There is too much evil in the world. The battle between hope and despair is still being decided. Someone needs to rise up. Strong leaders are needed, now more than ever!

When strong leadership is called for, and everyone agrees there is a dire need for it, leaders have to step up and examine the tough question:

Am I strong enough to take us where we need to go?

If not, you have two options: toughen up or quit.

Please don’t quit.

The day demands robust leaders. The spoils will go to the ones who endure. Lead strong, my friends!

Letha and I spent the holiday with our daughter and her family in Guatemala. Jessica and Josh are doing a phenomenal job as Directors of Casa Shalom Orphanage.  And of course, the highlight of our visit was time spent with our baby granddaughter, Sophia. We loved being with her for her first ever Thanksgiving. She is a great blessing in our lives.

Tomorrow we head back home, back to our busy life in the U.S. We return with our hearts full of gratitude. In our brief visit, we witnessed again the power of this ministry to needy children. We saw God answer prayer. A little 2 year old girl seriously smashed her thumb in a door and doctors were certain she would lose the thumb. I saw her just after the accident and the thumb was barely attached by the skin. Yesterday, 2 days later, she was released from the hospital and it looks as though her thumb will be fine. Amazing!  We witnessed one boy’s life be changed as he was brought to the orphanage after being on the streets shining shoes to make a living. He’s ten years old. Again, amazing!

We have much to be thankful for this season. God has been faithful and good. He always is – it’s just that sometimes we’ re so busy consuming His goodness that we fail to recognize it. I loved the last few days: no TV, no Black Friday shopping, lots of time with family and with God. I am thankful.

Many blessings to you this Thanksgiving week. I am thankful for you!

Rick

These are the extended notes from today’s message at Cross Community Church. As you might imagine, I did not have time to develop all the scriptures. So these are the major points.  If you like, you can also listen to the message or those from the rest of the series online at this link.

John 14: 16-18 And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), that He may remain with you forever– ¹⁷The Spirit of Truth, Whom the world cannot receive (welcome, take to its heart), because it does not see Him or know and recognize Him. But you know and recognize Him, for He lives with you [constantly] and will be in you. ¹⁸I will not leave you as orphans [comfortless, desolate, bereaved, forlorn, helpless]; I will come [back] to you. (AMP)

Comforter: paracletos: The compound noun refers to “one called alongside.”

 

When and why do you need The Comforter?

Broken hearted: Psalms 69:19-20 You know how I am scorned, disgraced and shamed; all my enemies are before you. ²⁰ Scorn has broken my heart and has left me helpless; I looked for sympathy, but there was none, for comforters, but I found none. (NIV)

Oppressed: Ecclesiastes 4:1 Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun: I saw the tears of the oppressed— and they have no comforter; power was on the side of their oppressors— and they have no comforter. (NIV)

Sorrowful: Jeremiah 8:18 You who are my Comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me.  (NIV)

In Danger: David (to Saul when he was trying to kill him) I Samuel 24:15  May the Lord therefore judge which of us is right and punish the guilty one. He is my advocate, and he will rescue me from your power!” (NLT)

When Destroyed: Job 16:19 Even now my witness is in heaven. My advocate is there on high.  (NLT)

Jesus sends the Comforter:

Mark 1:8  (John said) “I baptize you withwater, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit!” (NLT)

John 14:16 Then I will ask the Father to send you the Holy Spirit who will help you and always be with you. (CEV)

John 14:17 He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. (NLT)

John 14:26 But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you. (NLT)

John 15:26 I will send you the Spirit who comes from the Father and shows what is true. The Spirit will help you and will tell you about me. (CEV)

What the Comforter provides:

Defense when persecuted:  Matthew 10:19-20 When you are arrested, don’t worry about how to respond or what to say. God will give you the right words at the right time. ²⁰ For it is not you who will be speaking—it will be the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. (NLT)

Spiritual life: John3:8a Only God’s Spirit gives new life. (CEV)

John 6:63 The Spirit is the one who gives life! Human strength can do nothing. The words that I have spoken to you are from that life-giving Spirit. (CEV)

Conviction: John 16:8-9 The Spirit will come and show the people of this world the truth about sin and God’s justice and the judgment. ⁹The Spirit will show them that they are wrong about sin, because they didn’t have faith in me. (CEV)

Love: Romans 5:5b For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (NLT)

Freedom from power of sin: Romans 8:2 And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. (NLT)

Resurrection after you die: Romans 8:11 The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you. (NLT)

Power to overcome temptations: Romans 8:13b But you will live, if by the help of God’s Spirit you say “No” to your desires. (NLT)

Spiritual confidence: Romans 8:16 God’s Spirit makes us sure that we are his children. (CEV)

Spiritual strength in prayer: Romans 8:26 In certain ways we are weak, but the Spirit is here to help us. For example, when we don’t know what to pray for, the Spirit prays for us in ways that cannot be put into words. (CEV)

We are made right with God: I Corinthians 6:11 But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (NLT)

Spiritual gifts to build up the church: I Corinthians 12;1 Now about the gifts of the Spirit, brothers and sisters, I do not want you to be uninformed. (NIV)

I Corinthians 12:7 The Spirit has given each of us a special way of serving others. (CEV)

Made more like Jesus: II Corinthians 3:18 And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image. (NLT)

Unity: II Corinthians 13:13b May God bless you with his love, and may the Holy Spirit join all your hearts together. (CEV)

Fruit or evidences of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22-23a God’s Spirit makes us loving, happy, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, ²³gentle, and self-controlled. (CEV)

Wisdom: Ephesians 1:17 The Spirit will make you wise and let you understand what it means to know God. (CEV)

Renewed thinking: Ephesians 4:23 let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. (NLT)

Spiritual courage: II Timothy 1:7 God’s Spirit doesn’t make cowards out of us. The Spirit gives us power, love, and self-control. (CEV)

New birth, new life: Titus 3:5 He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. (NLT)

Defeating the devil: I John 4:4 Children, you belong to God, and you have defeated these enemies. God’s Spirit is in you and is more powerful than the one that is in the world. (CEV)

Everything we need is provided by God: Comforter – the Holy Spirit!

The news is prompting this post.

Children who are abused sexually pay a heavy price throughout their entire lives.  The pain of sexual abuse is a complex situation and as diverse as the shameful experiences the victims endured. There are no easy answers and no one can assume to know what these people are going through.

If you were abused as a child, I have some observations to share with you. I hope they may help you with recovery and healing.

Many times, the victim suffers while the guilty party lives guilt-free. Those who were taken advantage of when they are children replay the memories in their heads. They know that what happened was not right. They have a conscience and it cannot be seared. The abusers, on the other hand, many times learn how to forget the past. They ignore their guilt until it disappears. They go about carefree in life. At least that is what it appears like to the victims because almost never does the abuser confess unless he/she is confronted by the abused.

Until the victim tells what happened, they continue to live under the cloud of the abuse. The burden of telling should never be on the victim but I suppose we can’t expect a child molester to do the right thing, correct? So by not telling, they continue to abuse, even if the physical abuse has stopped. I fully believe that, if the victim is the one to expose the abuse, the punishment for the abuser should be more severe.

So why don’t adults who were victims of sexual abuse as children tell what happened to them? Many times they don’t tell because they don’t want to hurt innocent people. Other family members, spouses, children… all of these people did nothing wrong and to learn of such a tragedy is very painful and embarrassing for a family. So in the best interest of innocent people, victims remain silent.

There is also the fear of being disbelieved.  It is easy for an abuser to lie. What they did when they abused a child is as dishonest as it comes. So it is probably safe to assume that they will deny accusations. But their admission of guilt is not the point. The point is to free the victims of  the shame and disgrace they are enduring. By turning the light on the abuse, truth will eventually be known.

Let me say this to you if you were a victim of sexual abuse as a child: You will never be completely free until you confront your abuser. If that is not possible, it is very important for you to share with someone you love what happened to you. You don’t have to live in the prison of shame. You did nothing wrong. You are a victim. Why not begin the healing process?

I’m praying for you. Let God heal you.

The average church attender may think that their Pastor wants them to come to worship services on Sunday just to boost the numbers. That’s simply not true. He wants you to attend because what is happening there is vitally important and you are a vitally important part of the church.

Here is what happens in the minds of many church members on a Sunday morning:

“I’m tired, it’s been a long week, I stayed up late. I just don’t feel like going today.”

“One of the kids isn’t feeling too well, I think it is better if we just stay at home.”

“We have company from out of town at our house. It would be rude to go to church without them and I don’t want to ask them to come with us.”

“We can watch a church service on television or online.”

“Golf, tennis, fishing, Disney…any excuse will do!”

“I work 5 days a week, on Saturday I work around the house. Sunday is my only day off, I want to relax and enjoy some ‘me’ time.”

“We shouldn’t be legalistic; God doesn’t require me to go to church every Sunday.”

“I can worship God wherever I am. I don’t have to go to church to be with God.”

“The beach is awesome today, the weather is fantastic, let’s go there.”

“I’ve not been living right. I feel too guilty to go to church.”

“I paid a lot of money for that boat, it is wrong not to use it. Sunday is the best day to do that.”

“We’re going to visit family on Sunday.” (I wonder why people don’t visit so much on Saturday!)

“I have some work to catch up on, this is the only time to get it done.”

“Church is boring and predictable anyway, I won’t miss a thing.”

And so on…

In short, there is a war happening in the hearts and souls of people.

I encourage you – push through all of these struggles and just go to church!

If you don’t attend a service, there is more happening than you may realize:

• You can’t positively impact others at church. Plainly put, you are supposed to build up others . You are a blessing to others simply by walking in the door. You are responsible to use your gifts to help others. You can’t do that if you’re not at church.

• The quality of the worship service is negatively impacted if you are not there. While theoretically it should not be so, a “critical mass” is needed in most gatherings in order to conduct a successful service. When the crowd is down, morale usually follows.

• You can’t participate in the moment of what God is saying to and doing in the lives of the people who are there. Listening online or hearing someone else talk about it is great – but it cannot recapture the power of the divine moment with God.

• Others are watching you. You may influence them to also miss worship services.

• As a part of the church, you are responsible to fulfill the direction that God gives to the church – whether or not you are there. Absenteeism doesn’t work for an excuse with God.

• You disconnect from the life of the church. If the pastor is preaching in a series of messages, you miss vital parts. It then becomes more difficult to return the following week, since you already don’t know what’s going on. The church changes every week and we need to change with it.

• A habit is formed. It only takes a few weeks to get out of the habit of going to church. You then feel guilty if/when you return. It’s just easier to avoid all the drama.

• If you are gone more than a few weeks, you will feel out of place with your church family.

• You won’t receive the blessing that God provides at that particular service.

Your pastor wants you at church services because he cares about your soul. And it is better for your soul if you go to church. When you are not there, he or she notices – and it is discouraging to them. Trust me on this one.

Remember:

Hebrews 10:25 (NCV) “You should not stay away from the church meetings, as some are doing, but you should meet together and encourage each other. Do this even more as you see the day coming.”

Plain and simple: the devil doesn’t want you at church services. Don’t allow him to win that battle!

See you on Sunday!

Don’t tell the good people at Skype or at Facebook who provide Video Chat. I would pay them lots of money if they threatened to take away their free services.

Since our granddaughter Sophia went to live in Guatemala, we talk nearly everyday with her, via these free video services. Actually her mother calls us but we mostly talk to the baby. She loves it – but not as much as her Nana and I do. And it really works in the effort to keep her familiar with us. Last time we saw her in person, she acted as though we had been with her the entire time. Now when we talk, she laughs and touches the screen like she’s trying to touch our faces. Melts our hearts.

I guess I could look at it another way. The Skype people could be like drug dealers: they give you free stuff long enough to get you hooked and then they really make you pay. Don’t tell them but if they start charging, I’ll pay – whatever the cost.

While some may disagree, I have always considered good preaching to be more like a conversation than a lecture. Both the speaker and the listeners must be active and engaged in order for there to be successful ministry. Through the years, I have not been the most engaging speaker on the planet but I have had times when I connected well while speaking to a gathering of worshippers.

Here are some things that I consider positive signs of a group that is engaged in the message:

Eye contact: while a speaker must look around the room at various people, those who are listening to a speaker should stay visually focused on her. Wandering eyes, translates as disengaged.

Body language: Good posture, squared shoulders and a pleasant facial expression goes a long way. Speakers who see listeners yawn, have their heads in their hands or otherwise looked bored get the message – you are bored.  Even crossed arms with a furrowed brow can send a message to a preacher that you are less-than thrilled with what is being said.  Watch your body language. If you think that this is unimportant to your pastor, you are wrong. He is watching closely the signals you are sending.  If you want to make his day, sit on the edge of your seat and take notes.

An amen now and then won’t kill you: While I never like hype for hype’s sake, an occasional “I agree” goes a long was while presenting God’s Word. This is especially true when dealing with sensitive topics. It is true that most people are uncomfortable with silence. We need to learn how to do quiet well.  But there are times when a well-timed, “yes” will break the tension in the room and allow a preacher to proceed with the issue at hand. To me, this is the equivalent of providing positive verbal feedback during any conversation. How tough would it be to talk to a friend and never get any feedback? That’s what preaching feels like when crickets are the only ones making noise.

Laugh at jokes, nod in agreement, answer questions, respond and react: Generally, this has to do with being a good conversationalist. I doubt any of us would walk out mid-sentence, doze off or refuse to engage with a friend who is conversing with us.  We should give our preachers the same courtesy.

The next time you are hearing a preacher, consider it a one-on-one conversation. While you can’t talk as much as he does, you still have a very important role to play in the talk.

And ask yourself this question: “what if everybody did what I am doing?”  What kind of a church service would that be?

Help a preacher out!